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torsdag 9 april 2015

Your Ladie Legend

This is my last of my seven sites under my Blue Sky. It used to be the second site, after my personal site, but as it is connected to my friends site, in my Green World, I think it fits here better as they are now both the seventh site. Since I'm a woman I prefer female friends, and some women are real ladies and others are tramps. Who's who is hard to know when looking at the surface of a woman, as many tramps dress up in pretty clothes, make their hair look nice and put out an air of authority and competence. Many false narcissists and sociopaths are clever that way and will con almost everyone into believing their illusions. However, such women are no ladies, but they are terrible beings with no moral and class. Such women are no friends either, which is why I wrote about this issue on my green blog about my friend site. Here I will more delve into the matter of what a lady really is, as it should be someone with fine manners and high morals. The site you will find here Your Ladie Legend. There are alot of graphics on that site with victorian ladies that are up for the grab. Most of the things are very old, and therefore kind of small and cute today.

It's obvious that we are living in a time where reality is turned upside down. What we are made to want to achieve in our lives are mere illusions and will only leave us with an empty feeling, while what has true value is ridiculed. Those we are told are the most evil on our planet are only the patsies or in worse case, only framed scapegoats. All the while the truly evil ones are sitting in high places killing millions upon millions. So when we look for gentlemen and ladies today we might be wise not to look at those famous people we see in media, but towards the kind and helping men and women around us. But as we live in a world of illusion, where all is backwards most still believe that these liars and murderers are good people. We all know a few phony people who have made money by pretending to be highly educated and professionals, while in reality they are only smooth talking used car salesmen in their souls. You might have worked somewhere and a charming woman or man talks their way into a high position, just by charisma. All media make us believe that having a charm and good looks is all that takes to be a successful person. But the truth is that this person was worthless, at all else then smooth talking.
Another thing that many have encountered is co-workers that steal others ideas and pretends that they came up with it. Such thieves will pretend to be best friend with everyone, while smearing everyone at the same time ever so slightly. This is what I've heard is the method they use to create distrust among everyone in a group, while always being in the middle, popular among all. At this position stealing others ideas are easy and since everyone trust the thief and distrust each other, most will go along with the thief. This is kind of the same way that the females in my family go about things, and now my own mother has behaved, as the center of all gossip. While letting me help her alot when I grew up she thanked me by lying behind my back, making me out as a real fuck up, while in reality I was very responsible. The main source of what my mother actually made up about me come from my granny, when she gave me an earful shortly before I was to leave to go and study at the university. First it was clear that granny had no idea I was already planning to leave home, as one of the main points she yelled at me about was that I was still living at home. 

My parents lived in a big house and at that time we were only four living there, so granny's rage about me still living at home when barely 22 years old did not make sense, as I had a steady job at a factory, working full time. In granny's world I was a slacker, who never helped out at home and was a burden on my mother, who had to take care of all household work for me. In granny's mind it was mother taking care of me, and that was the reason I was refusing to leave home. All was totally backwards, as I had taken care of myself since I was in my early teens, and I had also taken care of my sister. Mother didn't do any household work either, like she had her mother believe, as it was either father who did it or I. But this evening, when I came home from the factory, mother was standing in the kitchen making food. It was quite a shocker for me. I remember that my closest brother was home from the university and had been out fixing his car most of the day. He looked just as shocked as I did, seeing mother making food. We gave each other a glance, and like good children of a lazy narcissist mother we decided to play along with her little theatre, so we made the table. 
To cover up the failings of a narcissistic parent is quite typical of the children of the narcissist. It's embarrassing to have such a mother, as all children want to have a normal mother or father. When they act irresponsible and childish the children step in and try to cover up the mess their parent caused. So it's no wonder both of us immediately played along with mother's theatre and pretended that this was her normal behavior. Something mother of course knew we would do as I was always so kind and empathetic with everyone else, but myself. And her golden son would do anything to get in the good book of his parents. So it's no wonder he later on pretends this charade never happened, but at this day he was just as shocked as I was, over how cruel and heartless mother behaved. She was just standing there with an evil grin on her face, as granny lashed out on us, and mainly on me. Before my brother realized that this bashing was orchestrated for my behalf, he did defend us. That felt really good, as I was not alone standing up for the truth. But this brother is very weak so he quickly silenced and let me be ripped apart.

That is one of the basic qualities of a true gentleman or a lady, that they have strong morals and they don't like when they watches abuse and unfair treatment. So they will speak out and stand their ground and they will not bow down to authority, as a gentleman or lady is in their own authority. They will see that someone else is hurting, or being harmed, and fight like true honorable people for the upright thing. That is the very foundation of the concept, however this has been misused during these years of wickedness. I know that my brother would not had defended anyone if only I'd been attacked that day. And it's obvious that my mother is no lady, as she must had been pissed I was moving away and would not serve her anymore, so she payed me back like only a tramp would do. All narcissistic women are tramps, and you realize that when you see how they behave. A lady just don't do the stuff they do as that is so slutty and trampy and vulgar, they wouldn't. The difference between these narcsissistic women are how sure they are of themselves. I truly believe that you are born to be a narcissist, and you have a choice if you wish to follow this path or evolve beyond it. There are two major reasons a person rather stay a narcissist then evolve.
One of the reasons a narcissist will not evolve and start to become responsible and mature in his or her behavior is cause they are weak and feel that there are opportunities to take the cowards way out of things. This will lead to them letting others suffer for their mistakes and after awhile their lives are fake and their souls erroded. The other reason is that they are supported by other people who show them that this weak and pathetic lifestyle works out for them. They will early on learn the importance of a fake outer face, an image, that portrait strength and confidence. Those narcissistic women that do not have self confidence in relational matters will not behave like sluts so obviously, as they don't really know how to handle this side with the perfect outer facade. Those with a strong confidence, due to a lifetime of love and support from others, will however have no problem with doing whatever they feel like, and come out of the most messy messes like unkissed virgin brides. It's quite amazing to watch, when a true blood slut can do the most foul things and then become a saintly nun in everyones eyes. It's like some kind of black magic trick.

Lets talk about the gifts I've showed so far here, and which you will also find on my site, under the link "Gifts", of course. The top one is a composition of different graphics I've put together, and then added a frame to that I made another time. The second gift is another of my own creations, where I made the frame specially for this graphic. The same goes for the bathing lovely ladies - the third gift. The forth gift was made from a tutorial, so it's the only one of the above I've not composed myself. As you can see all of these four have ladies on them, so the theme for them are obvious. There are other matters to being a lady then being beautiful and having lovely dresses and hats, but sometimes it's true that the inner beauty in people are seen also on the outside. There are a coldness in the eyes of the psychopaths and uncaring, envious bitches, that you don't see in the eyes of a real lady of a woman. Many women are ladies, but don't know about it themselves, perhaps due to low self esteem. Such women might be daughters to evil narcissistic women, who have a way to wreck their true blue daughters self confidence with tricks like the one I mentioned using my granny. 
When you are used to do good, and work hard, and then be undermined and made to look like a bad person is one of the tricks evil mothers pull on their children, when they want to destroy their joy of life. This is a trick connected to the stealing of others work as that was what mother did, with her con with my granny. Granny only acted on the lies and false information she'd been fed from mother. My guess is that mother had lied about me for years to granny and surely to many others. It's like I said, the same thing as on a workplace, where one cruel and lying bitch makes up stories about others, while always playing the hero or victim in all her fairytales. In my life I've met a few of these non-ladies, all from my own mother, to school mates, my sister and one and another co-worker. They are easy to spot as soon as you know the signs. The reason we fall for them is cause people tend to want to adore the heroes and we tend to believe that people tell the truth. So when a person with self confidence, which a spoiled narcissist have plenty of, declares that they are the hero, people tend to believe them and adore them and want to help them out.

Some of them are so charming and convincing, people just want to run into their arms and help them out. But others don't have the same charm, like my mother for instance and a few others I've encountered, so instead of just being heroes, such narcissists will also make sure you see them as somewhat pathetic victims, and there is something about lost puppies that makes people want to help. So you see that the trick is to make us think they deserve our help. The more times you've been burned by a narcissist, like I was with that granny-trick, the less you will be able to trust them. That is when they will start their guilt tripping and make you feel you have to hold it together for the family, or whatever reason. At work it can be for the project or the company. There is always some leverage they can use to make you dance after their pipe. My mother wasn't really too concerned about me after I moved out, but after I had married and started raising a family she made me think she needed company and there was alot of talk about her dying soon. This was already when my children where quite small, and she made me think it mattered to her that I came to see her with my children.
Now I know that this guilt tripping is to make you come and see your narcissistic mother, so she can have company, as narcissists are very big on company. When ever you go and see a narcissist you can be sure they will insult you and belittle you or your children in some way or another. It's just so weird to a person that their mother first begs them to come and see them, that it's important to her and that she then does what she does on purpose once you are all there. But honestly I think they don't really want you there cause they love you or missed you, but cause they were bored and wanted someone to entertain them. Once you are there they realize you are boring and that your children are totally boring, so they talk only about themselves and behaves really awkward around the children. However shocking and stupid my mother could behave I somehow expected it. I never really stopped feeling disappointed and surprised anyhow, as her emotions towards us are so foreign to me. Now I do understand why she is this way and it's just like my husband said many years ago. It's cause she lacks empathy for others, which makes her exist within a bubble without real care for others.

After many years pretending that she was soon to die and guilt tripping me into feeling obligated to come and see her as often as possible, despite very limited funds, she suddenly announced that she rather have me come alone, without my children, so I could help her out with her house. The thing is that I'd been upset for a couple of years as my father had announced that I didn't need to take my children with me when I came to see him, and I'd said it plenty of times to her how hurt I'd been when he said that. It was all so weird as mother had spoken about how important the grandchildren where and how bad father had behaved when he ignored his own grandchildren. That was just shortly before my father told me not to bring my children, so I told mother about it as she had spoken so much about this very issue, and how important they were to her. Now I realize that this was just a show, as she wanted father declared unfit so her grabby favorite children could get their hands on father's money. But he saw thrue them. So mother never thought my children were important and she never agreed with me that it was hurtful of father to tell me not to bring them. Instead she went ahead and told me the same herself.
This had happened in summer 2009 when I had spent 3-4 days with mother and my children had only stayed the night. One freaking night and mother tells me not to bring them anymore. We hardly visited anymore as they didn't like to come and see her as there was nothing fun to do. And later on they've all told me how mother treated them when I wasn't watching. She was so cruel and mean to even the smallest little girl it's so clear she really never wanted them to come and see her. My guess is that she wanted me to do her garden and work for her like the slave and servant that bitch believes that I am. I don't mind helping out people, but I mind being used and then lied about like none of my help never happened. To never properly thank a person for their help is one way to take away that the help ever happened. This is what narcissists often do, and then they credit whatever was created onto themselves and they steal the glory. If you listen carefully at the praise a narcissist give to another they are never praising the main thing, the grander thing, but something minor and then doing it in a way so it sounds like this little thing is all the person has done. That is the trick of making others see the other person as incompetent.

Then the narcissist will call someone and take others money and pay that person to do some job, and after that paint themselves as heroes as they've made all this happen. That is the important thing when uncovering a fake lady, that she will be so very cheap that she must always be paid for anything. She will never really do any hard work, but make damn sure that others pay for whatever crap she comes up with to make herself look good. In the end others will pay for all her stupid ideas, while she most of the times comes out only having to pay less then half of what the others had to. When another person hires people to help them out in a big job, and also work hard themselves, they are met with total rejection. They will not get anything for neither their own work, nore all they've paid others. That is the sick and twisted logic of a narcissist and I've seen this one so very well in my own sister, and unfortunately also in a brother. Mother does this little trick on me more covert, so I believe she's fair, but behind my back she is so not fair. However all this is now totally out of the box, and after all they've done to me these last two years this thought pattern of theirs are all too clear.
The reason narcissists are this unfair is cause they are in their maturity stuck in an age before you realize that fairness is the way to do things. Apparently the scientists have found that at a certain age children stopped giving themselves more and started to divide things equally among themselves. After a few more years the children even liked to give more to the others. This would not show up in a narcissistic person, unless they are aware of the study and want to look good. That is the catch with this kind of studies that people are not animals and people want to be liked. So they act to look good, but in real life they might not be so kind, when they know they can get away with it. In a family were the mother is no lady, but a real bitch, some children are taught to bully other children. So they are taught to take more, to expect more. In my family the boy who resembled somewhat mothers closest brother was choosen by her to get birthday parties and all the nice stuff he asked for. As a child I noticed all these things, but I never realized it was wrong, only that it was. Children are taught that the world is a certain way and they roll with it.

It's when children get in that age that they become very unselfish, and expect others to treat them good too, when they realize that some treatment are not right. So when I was five I would think it normal that only one of us children never got punished, while two of us was. I didn't feel it odd that one got birthday parties, and us others didn't. I didn't think about this more deeply until in the teens and it truly depressed me. It was so clear I was not loved as I never got anything as easy as he did. He just had to ask one day and mother bought him a dog, when I had begged for a dog for years, never being heard. I think this is a great time to mention gifts, so lets talk about these four just above here. The purple flowers is from a tutorial, but it was so dull I added an extra frame to it, which also is from a tutorial. The lillies in the green frame are totally from a tutorial, and so is the white flowers in the green frame. Flowers are so associated with ladies, so that's why there are so many here. The last gift just above here is a tutorial I added a right side to, so I could put the text on there. That is a typical victorial lady, just like those you see alot of on my site.
Another thing that happened back in 2009 also affected grandchildren of my mother. It actually all started the year before when she decided she was to move down to my sister. Mother acted really helpless and had my sister to do alot of things for her, is what my sister has told me. And then mother got an appartment and sister had to help her out to make the deal. Just when all that was done mother "changed her mind" and decided she couldn't afford this apparment if she was to go and see her golden son in the US too. Actually, it was this brother of ours who suggested that mother would skip the appartment she finally had gotten after a long wait, and instead come and see him. No concern for the fact mother needed a place to live in after she came back from her short vacation and no concern for all the work put into this deal coming through. Mother never blamed her golden son when she talked about this, but blamed those fixing her up with an appartment. They had "rushed her" and it was their fault for demanding a fast reply. That is what they do, these narcissists, blame everyone but the guilty one. Our sister was so grumpy over all the hours she put in, as she's not the kind that likes to help out.

So then the next year all this circus began again when mother yet again had gotten an appartment down in the small community our sister lived in. This time she draw out on the decision and talked to alot of people about what she was to do, as it was really expensive. Everyone in mine and the oldest son's families said she could come and live near us instead for a much lower rent. The answer she gave all of us was that she knew nobody in our areas. The first time I heard she'd said this was to my brother's oldest son, who'd suggested his granny to live in the small town he lived in at that time. It's very close to where my brother and his wife and smallest son live, and I believe the daughter lives there now. The grandson was very insulted and asked me why his granny said she didn't know him, after all the times he'd visited her and helped her out. I tried to joke it away and said that my mother would say the same to me, despite her knowing me for twice as long, and me being her own child. That was when I tested my mother on it, just for a laugh, and she did indeed tell me she neither knew me or anyone in my family. In retrospective it's not even funny!
It's not funny as the people she said she did know down where my sister lived was my sister and her family. Mother also mentioned her sister and her family. That was pretty much it. I counted to 3 close blood relatives, as the nephew and his children and grandchildren is not close. She didn't mention any friends, but only these people. So then I counted how many close blood relatives she had up at my nephews place, where he'd suggested his granny to move. I came up with the number 4. Last time I checked 4 is more then 3, and also remember that our sister's son was from her first marriage, so she only saw him now and then. Just a few months after mother had moved down to our sister's village, she and her husband moved out and into the big city. A few years later mother revealed to me that she never had been told in advance that this was to happen. If that is true or not I don't know, as my mother lies so much. She might had been told and she didn't care to admit to it, as she'd decided that her baby daughter loved her and cared for her. Mother would do so silly things it's just embarrassing when she was with my sister, and she had to clean up the mess. One time she'd backed her car into a neighbours car, and afterwards sister said mother was totally silly, and had her deal with the whole thing like a little child.

That's so incredible to hear, as to both me and my oldest brother mother behaves like we are the silly little children who need help to change our dipers. So to hear how helpless and stupid she really is, when with her golden children, is totally barock. And I guess that's why she rather wants to live with my sister so she doesn't have to put on that mask of competence all the time, and can instead be that silly person she likes to be. I don't really know. But after mother had told me this about how angry she was on my sister for lying to her and making her move down there and then she just moved away, mother began to talk about moving up to here where we live. She talked alot with my oldest daughter, who'd just moved into a flat nearby. This was in early 2013 and my daughter had a handicapped little child all by herself, as she broke off with the child's dad in summer 2012, and she also studies at the university at one of the most tough programs there are. Still her granny would phone her again and again and ask for help to get her an appartment, and my daughter would try to help her out. After a few months of constant demands her granny suddenly proclaimed to my daughter that she'd changed her mind, since she "didn't know anyone there". 
My daughter knew about this statement as she'd heard her cousin tell about it back in 2009, and she'd heard me mention that this was her granny's first reaction to my suggestion she would come and stay here. So she was forwarned, but it's still hard to believe someone would actually say such a thing after you've been in many conversations with that person and totally helped them out. It's just so rude! It's not lady-like one bit. It's totally bitch-like. This is why I do understand why my sister choose to rather have our mother close to her then me. It's so much easier to look good when with our mother then with me. Another thing is that mother has assets which I don't yet. If I ever get assets or like tens of millions, I'm sure my sister will come back to me and try to kiss my ass. But then it will be too late, as I know now what I know and I know she's just like her biological mother. She will do as she please without any consideration whom it might hurt. She will frame others for her own deeds, just like mother would and our golden brother does, only she will do it in her own way. It's always a sad thing to have to accept that the women you've had closest to you in life were fakes. And these two are not the only fake ones I've had to learn to accept. It's hard to learn that those you trusted lied to you and deceived you.

Honor, reliability, empathy, true kindness are all the hallmarks of a true lady. Without those traits you can never ever be a lady, no matter what you say. Even a lady can have passionate love affairs and do stupid things concerning the heart, but a lady would never enjoy to hurt another woman by stealing her husband away from her. That would only a tramp. So lets now speak again about my gifts here. The pretty picture with the young woman from the 20's I put together with a few nice tubes and created a nice frame to, so it's one of my own creations. The new year graphic is however a tutorial, even if I designed the frame myself. The lady in blue above is a tutorial, but I added the space to the right so to have somewhere to put the text. Below is a tutorial which I remade into a tag. I do hope you get time to visit my site as there are tons and tons of pretty graphics on there. So much victorian ladies and all sorts of different little trinkets and surprises. A final thought about being a lady is the true wish to be of help to others. Helpful and gracious people are the true gentlemen and ladies. That is why tramps and scumbags always try to use these kind hearted people. It's not your fault for being kind - it's their fault for being unkind.

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry