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lördag 30 maj 2015

Hope



Without hope you just don't feel like living anymore. Once upon a time I was a young little thing, and I felt there was no future for me. How come I've come to feel that way was thanks to evil. People working with evil to crush my spirit made me feel this way. But there are greater powers at work in here that do not want their goal to be achieved, so something changed everything. For me it was something so small I'm sure most would not even have noticed. But to me it changed everything. It was the words of a stranger, but yet a relative. A young boy of my same age told me I was just as good as any other girl. He didn't tell me I was awesome, special or the most beautiful he'd seen, but just that I was normal, and that changed all for me. Normal girls have boyfriends, fall in love, marry, have children - all things that up till that moment had been out of range for me. Evil make you feel rotten, unworthy, having no future, so that was how I've come to look upon myself. 

In my life evil came with my mother and continued with others, that seemed to pick up the signs of my wounded soul and wanted a piece of it to shew on, just like evil people do. Evil people are not connected to source, so they feed off others that are. I'm definitely connected as I even remember me being there, leaving for this weird, blue place. But I had no idea there was so little love here, so much cruelty, so little compassion and so much meaness. If you are lacking connection with source you need alot of attention, alot of confirmation how splendid you are, so I'm sure that those little words that ment so much to me would not had ment anything to such a being. I've seen with my own eyes how envious such a being becomes when another person, like myself, gets the slightest attention, while they themselves can never get enough. That's why they feel such envy, as they are always craving, hungry and needy. 


Narcissists are such beings and they are always jealous of others, pushing others out of focus and putting themselves in the middle. Such people would had craved to hear that they were the most precious ones, the prettiest, and would had shrug their shoulders in indifference over those words, that to me changed the whole world. To me they were magical and after that I saw how a rainbow of colours changed the once so dull and grey world into a palette of posibilities. There is no future without hope, and to know you are normal gives hope that you will be able to fall in love, have a life with another, get children and be someone that others would speak to. Imagine if people would like me, and even talk to me! That had all been impossible dreams up till that moment, but after this time I had hope. I hoped that there were people in this world that could actually even love me. Perhaps someone could, if not many, but someone.

To me, now as a granny, it's sad to remember how I felt when I was a teenager. How lost, lonely and hurt. And as a granny and mother I know who's fault that was, as just a few kind words from a stranger could change everything, it sure as heck was not my own fault. I was not greedy, needy, craving or hungry for attention from others. I was shy, inverted and most of all I'd lost all hope, since everyone disliked me. I was unworthy and unloved. And it was not by my own choice and it was not something I was born with, but something this world had given me. This world was my family and school at that time, and when school went wrong my family was nowhere to find. They did not comfort me, support me, cheer me on. When I truly needed a mother she was not there. Now I need her as much as a red rash in my arse, but I still miss having a mother that cares and loves my children, like I love my little grandson. 


I've spoken to so many people now that grieve their loss of a dear and kind mother, someone that ment the world to them, and all I can feel is sadness, cause I will never grieve that, but only the dream of having such a mother. I can never grieve what I never had, only the dream that was never true. Most of all I can learn from what I've lived and be the mother I never had. I can be kind and helpful, and supportive and loving. I can be so much she never was, since she was only in this life for her own benifite and nobody elses. She might had pretended to be kind, to be a good christian, and she might once had bragged she'd evolve into an angel, when she died, and come and guard us. But she was more often spiteful, making snidy remarks, ignoring, laughing when you got hurt, and yawning when you spoke of your own issues. To imagine that such a selfish person would evolve into a guardian angel is hilarious. 

She rarely came when she could and was in her body, so why would she when she is a spirit and can go wherever she wishes? She only said once she would become an angel and come and protect us, and after that she's stopped hanging in the church and instead started to hang with young boys. After that she had no interest in even coming and visit my oldest daughter, despite all her efforts to connect with her. Instead of building on that relationship she hurt my daughter and insulted her in the same way she's insulted so many others. By belittling them, marginalising them, and straight out telling them that they were nothing. That's her superpower, to make people feel invisible and unworthy, like they were null and nothing. So she told my daughter she'd changed her mind, since she knew no-one where my daugher lived at that time, so she would not move there after all. She's said that to many else, whom she likes to belittle, that she does not know them, that they are not enough reason for her to move there. 


She also told my daughter she could not come and visit her, since she had more important things to do. Which was to visit a total stranger, another young student, but not a grandchild of hers. Just a stranger she'd met on the net, who my daugher was told was more important then her. No wonder I grew up feeling like nothing! This is my monster mother stealing your life force from you, which you've recieved from the source itself. My mother who's been complaining so many times she feels like a demon is stalking her. My mother who's been said to behave like possessed by a demon, by her own older relatives. My mother who I dreamt was two people when I was a child, one demon and one human. So no wonder I felt like nothing. Having a monster of a mother, where the monster isn't hiding under the bed, but inside the person you should be able to trust, will make anyone grow up with a very tense feeling. And it drains you, takes away your selfworth.

The treatment that is not so obvious has been named "ambient abuse" and many like to put this gaslighting shit there too. Gaslighting, crazy making, denying reality, ignoring your experiences, all that are ambient abuse. The one hurting me most as I grew up was strangely enough not my mother, as like I said she had a human side, that sometimes came out and then I could imagine she cared for me a little bit. Someone who never listened to me and who still today has no idea who I am, is the brother I spent most time with growing up. He was perhaps not quite so selfcentered and coldhearted when he was younger, but the older he got, the crueler he became. I blame mother for that, as she enjoyed seeing him hurt his siblings. That seemed to bring her great joy. Abuse by proxy? That is also a form of abuse, rewarding a child for bullying his siblings. I think that at that time he deep down knew it was wrong, but his need for mother's love and approval made him still do it. After that he's needed to convince himself that we deserved it, so he also became a full fledge narcissist. In my opinion.



I would straight out say that this kind of sneaky abuse directed towards some innocent person that loves you, trusts you, are ment to take away your hope. Without any hope we whither away and die. Hopelessness cause depression and that is a state of being that makes you loose alot of energy to others. You can litterary be fed upon by these people infested with the parasites that are called "demons". Which is the very reason that it's done, to make you depressed and a good food source. Then you die, of course. Most people that are under this kind of abuse meet their maker sooner then they would had under normal circumstanses, in my opinion. The stress, the loss of hope and the utter pointlessness of even trying anymore will put it's mark on you physichally. Which reminds me of my mother's favorite theory, how mental problems manifested in physichal illness. 

Well, she should know that as she was bullying others so much. She must had seen it with her own eyes at work, when her patients killed themselves as all in their lives sucked. Who knows what she based this on, but it's a freaking miracle she's still alive, when our father isn't. In my opinion, again, she drained the life force right out from him whenever she had a minute over. She used the divorce to torment him with as much as possible, trying to take away the most precious thing he'd been working for decades to achieve. She then went on to torment him on every family gathering, and between, using him like a free motel as it pleased her. If he said she could not stay over, she just bullied her way into his sister's house next door. So she could come down to father and intrude on him as she pleased. 


Whenever she was talking about this matter, how mental problems would eventually show physichally, she was almost always talking about father. I so regret never listening properly to her, but she just ranted on about this and it was a total drag, when you are yourself in your early twenties. I think she ment that his actually physical problems, that I at the time had hardly any idea about, was due to mental issues he'd ignored. That is how I interpretaded her rantings, and it also seemed like she wanted to cover up the reality about his real problems, by blaming them on some mental issue. This minimizing and belittling of others health issues are actually very typical of a narcissist. She's done it to me a few times too, ignored warning signs so my very life could had been in danger, or just refusing to tell others what actually had happened to me, making it out like nothing. 

That was what she did with father all the time, ridiculing and belittling anything about his health. If he passed out at the dentist, perhaps due to some allergic reaction as he had a few allergies already, she'd make it out like he was some silly little girl getting scared and passing out. Remember, my dad once blow his thumb off when in the military and they had to sew it back on again. They wanted to take if away, but he conned them that he did have feelings in the thumb, so they let him keep it. Does that sound like a little scared school girl to you? Someone having the nerves to stay focused and lie under such distress. I'd call that one of the good lies, as he needed that thumb. However, also this story mother is ridiculing, making it out he was so dumb he would not through away the granade at time, so it blew up in his hand. The real truth about this I don't remember, only mother's tale.


The feeling such constant belittlement, ridicule and scorn gives the reciever will ware you out eventually, so in a weird way she was right that father might not had been totally well mentally after spending so many years with such a bitch. And after a few more years he got high blood pressure, and it strained his heart. So he died at age 83, and had a severe heart attack when he was 75. Mother however seems to live on without ever caring one bit to be healthy. Father he was exercising, played tennis and he used to work with physical chores, building houses for a hobby and always doing things. Mother lay in the sofa, sighing. Fat, lazy and eventually with useless feet, as she was too huge for them to carry. That was when the doctor told her to loose weight, and she sure did not like that. But now she'll become 84 and she's still around to pesture my life when it pleases her. I've tried for two years to shut her out of it, and told her to keep away, but she's like one of those parasites that stick on you and wont let go.

If she really had wanted me in her life, for my sake, she'd not done what she'd done. She would had replied to my mail the 21st of May 2013, and said that she truly did not believe I was a liar. But she refused to do that, and instead promised to testify that I was. If she'd truly cared for me she'd not sided with those threatening me with the police for speaking the truth and calling me mentally ill. She should not had spread out to people that I was, based on my sister's rotten lies, and she should not had lied about my husband, when he came to my rescue and told her she was treating me badly when she agreed with my bullies. A person has the right to live without such constant harassment, lies, marginalizing and put downs. I am a human being and I know what I know. And also, I had a witness who was there, seeing the same thing I did. So why did this wonderful mother believe the one who says we are wrong? Cause she is not a wonderful mother at all. She's a bitch.



These latest events are only a little piece of all the abuse and lies and gaslighting and shit these people have pulled all through my life. If you are forced to live under this constant tension, that what really happened can and will be changed any minute, it's draining. You will question yourself all the time, not trusting any of your own judgements, and never be able to believe anything you want and care for have any value what so ever. What this kind of constant abuse does to you is to take away your humanity from you and make you into an empty shell. The true human being sits deep inside and cries, dreaming of coming out one day. I could possibly not live that way and I really felt like there was nothing more to live for, when that time occured when the good force in our Universe let a young boy tell me that I was just as much worth as any other girl. 

It's said that such evil cows like my mother and also her pet children, do these things due to some own feelings of insecurity. So they steal others worth from them and put that worth upon themselves. Like they now were all the good things the robbed person once was. It's easy to spot that the confidence is a mask, and not really real. It's like a professional persona, they put on to impress people. It's not them. They do this to make others believe they are perfect. Actually, they only need others to believe they are to convince themselves they are. That's why they never can allow themselves to be wrong. Also, to a narcissist everything is voteable. Truth is what they make most people believe. Lies are anything that does not fit their agenda. If what they want is not right or just, they will justify it to be right and just. They need to be right and they need to be better then others.



So that is the very essence of the need for one of their food sources to go no contact with these bastards. A good person like myself, who's been shamed, blamed, belittled, ignored and much more my whole life by the very people that ought to have loved me, adored me, cared for me, has a right to be left alone and to take care of herself. I am just as much worth as anybody else, and nobody deserves this treatment. Nobody deserves to have a sister who lies about her, after doing so much for her when she grew up. Things that was not my responsibility to do, but I did it out of love. What that bitch has done is unforgiveable, as she did it on purpose and she knows she's lying about me. Mother totally knows that too, and my guess is that so does the brother who already as a child would harm, hurt and ridicule anyone of his siblings, just to get some form of appreciation from his mother. He knows that mother wants him to vote for the lying sister, so he's voting that she's telling the truth. Well, good for him. 

I don't need liars in my life, and I most certainly don't need this kind of evilness in my life. I am just as much worth as anyone else, and you have no right to put me down, lie about me, shame me when I've done nothing wrong. You have no right to frame me for what you, yourself, have done. My sister looked through all the papers in father's house after he died, and I did nothing. She took the house agreement and hid it away for more inspection, after making sure I had seen it and read it. She did it and I had nothing to do with it. Mother knows this, as she was there when it was found, says my sister and in that I do feel I possibly could trust. I don't hold it against the evil cow that she helped my sister set me up, and that she's known all the time I read the real agreement, and that's the reason she's playing dumb as a goose, not understanding any explainations we give her. Remember that lies are what a narcissist don't want to be real, so she want my sister to have that house, and she does not care for the truth, hence the cruel ignoring of me and reality.


And the same goes for the narcissistic brother. He wants reality to be what he wanted from the start, so he does not care that his youngest sister, and his mother, are both lying through their teeth about his closest sister, whom he grew up with. He does not care about it as he's felt all these years it was wrong of father to have given a house to this young girl, but since he wanted to be accepted and appreciated by his parents, he kept his gob shut. But he needs this fantasy to be real now, as he's been so envious for so long, making father build a outhouse for him to compensate him for not getting the house himself. So when he hears that his little sister never ever got the house, that means that he neither has gotten any. And he can't accept that so he goes on and on about how he has the same agreement as this sister. It's so freaking important to him that he has the same agreement. Only, hers were NOT legally binding, and since it's missing it's null and void anyway. Where is his agreement then, if his tales are true. Nowhere to be found as all he ever had was a rent agreement.

Lies, lies, lies, to make the fantasy real. That is the modus operandi by the malignant narcissists and they do love to torment and pesture their choosen food supply for as long as they are alive. I so wish they weren't though, so they'd leave me alone. It's come to this that I wish they'd just seized to exist so I could keep on living in peace and quite. I don't want them hoovering over me, pretending that nothing of all this shit has happened, like mother does, the crazy old cow. And I don't want any more lies, insults and outrageous claims by the narcissistic brother. I neither want any more feedback from the lying bitch of a sister, where she pretends that she's a professional and that we all need her so much. I need her like I need a tick in my arse. She has nothing of value to offer me at this stage, as all she is is a phony liar. She knows she is, but her only fear is that more people will find out that I'm right about her. So she keeps her smear about me going, tries to make everyone she meets believe her lies. 


She seems to have been at this for many decades, as already her first husband hated me for unknown reasons. To hurt her after she'd had an affair behind his back he started flirting with other women, and on their wedding he flirted with me. That must had been his desperate attempt to make her react, as he knew how much she hated me. I didn't at the time, but I've begun to realize that her diary was telling the truth about her true feelings for me. If I'd known that as a young teen I'd not spent one second with that selfish, evil little mini-cow. That is what I regret the most in my life - every minute I've spent with either of these evil bastards. They sucked my selfesteem from me piece by piece, and even if some random words by strangers and new friends might had lifted me up for awhile, I'd soon be put down again after spending time with these sneaky abusers. They are foul beings from the underworld, in my opinion, and I am now truly looking forward to a life without them. 

I realized that you don't have to wait for people to die, you just behave like they did and ignore them. They've ignored me so much so why should I even feel guilty for ignoring them? If that is what someone thinks, that is just plain cruel and also quite evil to think. People that don't know shit are the first to judge and as soon as I hear unfounded judgement from people I know now I'm dealing with a narcissist bully. As soon as such a person had struck you with his or her insults that person will attempt to make you into being the bully, and themselves into the victims. They do that by dragging up some really horrible tale and make you look really bad. That is one way of diverting away from the issue that narcissists like to use, and the other is to just ignore anything about the question and focus all attention on something else. Either way you will end up as being an abuser and the narcissist as the victim. That is how they play it and that is how they lure you back - through your empathy. Back to be fed upon, again and again. No thank you, assholes. I rather stay were the hope is - far, far away from you all!

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry

Honor And Loyalty



This video above is about a father who has shared custody of his 11 year-old child, but who has not been allowed to see his daughter for many years now. His family and ex are working together to ruin his life, threatening him with made up crimes, so he had to flee his state to not end up in prison. But he still fights for having some insight into his daughter's life, who's been so poisoned by the parents of her father and by her mother, so she will not speak to her own dad. She believes he's done all the made up shit they tell her he's done, just like people often do when faced with the blatant lies of these pathological liars. As a father he has a right to know about his daughter. He has a right to go with her and speak to anyone dealing with her health care, but this health professional refuses to speak to him, but instead tries to charge him for coming to a session, he's already been paid for. 

It's a con to try and scare the father away of course, as he knows that father lives in another state and neither is able to go there like that, and cannot afford it either. And it's bloody unfair and unethical to even demand such a thing from a father. All he wants is some insight into why his daughter gone to this guy for "therapy" for three years, and he's not able to get much of an answer. Here you can hear what he get instead, when he's fed up with the procrastinations of this guy. Also, I've checked up this so called "doctor", and the reason he's pissed is cause listeners to the father's videos have found out he does NOT have a doctor degree, but is only a social worker. I went to this "doctor's" google+ account and even there he states he's a doctor. But he refuses to give this father a straight answer about whether he is or isn't and instead he slams the big whammer against the father, threatens him with law suites. 


This is where it all gets very clear, as the father was getting close to the truth. First the "professional doctor" refuses to answer his questions by telling the father he's blocked! I mean, he's treating the daughter of this father and he BLOCKS him for asking questions. That is the first sign that something is terribly wrong with this guy. Then it turns out that the father's prediction that the so called "doctor" was watching his videos were true (he predicts it in the first video, before he finds out the guy had done it). I mean, what normal "doctor" has time to go around and stalk youtube-accounts of their clients parents? That's not normal either. He tells the father he's seen the video in a message that is sent late at night, and tells about his intention to sue the father. Then he sends another message to the father very early at dawn, making it out like his lawyer has told him he has a solid case. 

What lawyer is working like that in the middle of the night? Yet another sign of a con artist, if you ask me. This so called "doctor" is accusing the FATHER of not following the hypocritich oath, which ONLY professionals, like doctors, need to follow. The father is not a doctor, but only a parent, so how is that even logical? It's not, it's just ment to sound good and scare the stupid. Sociopaths and liars always use fancy words to con people into submission. All the reply from this con artist of a "doctor" is spot on EXACTLY what my own narcissist brother is doing to me. Right now there lies a bloody letter in my mail box from that fucktard. He can go and screw himself with all his threats, projections, lies and defamation. He's not deserving of any more empathy from me in this lifetime, nore in the hundreds that is coming. 


Well, I will make bloody sure I don't end up in the same realm as him ever again, but I would not anyway show anyone of his kind any empathy ever again. Such people USE your empathy for their own gains, but NEVER show your any back. He does not care how insulted and hurt I feel for him believing all the lies and crap our baby sister has been spinning about me these last two years. He rather listens to our malignant mother's ramblings then to common sense and reality. He's totally under the spell of these lying cows and he rather believe such envious bullies, then understand that they are not in it to help him out. I and his older brother used to pity him, for his mistake of believing our sister and our mother, but after all hate and viciousness he's shown us we're through pittying him. 

I wrote to him in May 2012, more exactly on the 21st of May, that I wanted nothing more to do with him if he could believe those nasty things about me, that our sister were spewing out. I also sent that mail to our mother, and neither of them replied back, hence confirming they did rather believe the lies, then me. So they can leave me alone. Yes, my mother has also sent me something on the post, which lies and rot in my mailbox. It's most likely a birthday card, where she yet again pretends nothing has happened, that she never recieved that mail from me in 2012, that nothing I've told her were ever told. Like that she should NEVER contact me ever again, unless she was to ask me for forgiveness for believing those lies about me. She refuses to ask for forgiveness, as apparently believing lies about me is not a bad thing. 


She's said she's done nothing towards me, that she never has meddled in the inherence after father. All lies. She's the liar. Shortly after she said that to me she wrote the lawyer and lied that she was married to father, when she was divorced and had lived seperated for a decade when what she was talking about occured. She also lied to him telling him her youngest daughter had not gotten those 344 000 the lawyer KNOWS she has gotten from father. Well, mother didn't know the lawyer knew that, but thanks to her mail to him, he now knows our mother is a bloody liar. Or he's just as dumb as he looks and does not get it yet. In her mail to the lawyer she yet again tried to help our lying sister to con more from the death estate then the rest of us, most of all much more then ME, which was another point I told mother I was very mad at her for. Trying to make me and my children suffer economical loss once again. 

She's caused us so much damage and if she ever helped me out in any way she cried blood over it for years afterwards. She can however give my sister hundreds of thousands, without a second thought, and she's given the narcissist brother tens of thousands, without a problem. But when she's faced with giving me one thousand or less, she cries blood. I'm the one with the four children and she feels bad for helping me out, but not those with only one child each? That is so weird for me to figure out and I hope I never end up to be such a mean cow as she is towards her own flesh and blood. She's been crying over a winter overall she once bought for one of my children, for more then a decade. At the same time she said not a word about the very same piece of clothing she bought for his cousin, the golden son's only child. 


My child had that overall for two full winters up in Scandinavia, where we have long winters. The cousin had the overall for a three weeks vacation here, and then he went back to Florida, where there is no cold winters. Where is the freaking logic of that? Why wasn't she regretting buying the cousin the expensive piece of clothing? Why was she only regretting giving it to a child that truly needed it? That is so sick and so insane my head cannot wrap itself around it. I will never understand these demons. They are disloyal, dishonest and they still think that I will pity them. How insane can a person really get? They make me sick to the stomach, and hearing this therapist's words of threath to this father is just like hearing my brother and his favorite bitches. The same kind of unfounded threats, made up "crimes". The mentioning of how all the listeners on the youtube-channel were ALSO defaming him, the fake "doctor", was just the cream on the cake. 

He's supposed to be a professional, so if he's a doctor he must be able to prove it. To threaten people like this makes him just look like another dumb, greedy narcissist, nothing else. A professional would show his degrees and would stop lying about being a "doctor" if he's not. Which it seems like he's not and the reason he's doing all these threats. My main two liars have also long lists of made up shit they "know", and fake educations. I'm talking about my sister and her con man of a husband here. Of some reason our lawyer, settling the estate, seems impressed with that. As if fake educations and qualifications are impressive, so I'm actually leaning towards him not being as qualified as he makes out he is. I think he also lacks alot of degrees, and does not like people who are highly knowledgable. 


I very early on told the lawyer that my sister and other brother believes that I'm stupid, and that was not true at all. Still the lawyer believed all their tales and concluded I was lying to him, that I indeed was stupid. I'd told him that my husband was highly educated in the fields of law, and still he tried to con me with making up false claims about the law. Which my husband clearly knew was made up bullshit with no base in reality. I checked up everything my husband said and confirmed it. He's kind of a genius, my husband. One of those nerdy, but still cool guys. Asian looking, of course, just like all the really smart ones always are on television. When he was in China the other year people thought he was a really tall chinese. Here he is a really short dark guy, with native roots, and truly dumb people believe that he's an immigrant from a far away country. Just like his father was mistreated by all these rasist biggots in this country.

The truth is that it's my husband and his family of origin that are the rightful natives, and all those tall, blond ones that are the immigrants. The goths have come here in different periods, starting back 3 000 years ago. Before that this was a place with no whites. Yes, you heard me right. There were no whites here for thousands of years after the Ice Age ended. This was a land of the nordic asian type, the same type you find in northern Russia - Siberia - and in North America. The same freaking DNA. However, today most of these people are mixed up with other races, so most natives here have some blue eyes, some green eyes, and some blond hair, or just not black anymore. But my husband have black hair and dark brown, slinted eyes, like a true native. I miss him alot right now, but he'll be back from his trip to Europe soon tomorrow. It's when they are gone you remember how much you love someone. If you feel relief they are gone, you should leave them out of your life for good.


These are the two qualities, honor and loyalty, that I value so much that I would never keep a relationship with a person lacking either of those. These are the qualities only people living with goodness in their souls possess. Those choosing the dark path does not have either. How you will reveal if a person lacks one of these traits you need to look at what they do, what they say is not enough, but you need to look at their actions. Does she laugh with those that insulted you? Does she smirk with envy when you gain attention? Does she take what is not hers and tries to make it your own fault for being robbed? There are many signs that a person is not possessing these qualities, and to keep a bond with a person lacking these is not advisable, if you are living by them. As soon as you find out that a person is undermining you behind your back, you should watch out. That they are searching for relationship advice and talking to friends, are not the issue here.

It's them talking to your relatives, framing you for their own actions, that you should be aware of. Also, if you stand up for them, when they are under attack, and you clearly again and again notice that not only don't they ever speak up in your defence, but they are even helping out to attack you, you should be very wary of such persons. The best thing is to cut all relationships with them, but count on them trying to get you back. Not out of love, or them missing YOU, as the person you truly are, but they will want to harm you further, make you suffer again and again. So they want you back so they can keep shitting their own shit on you, and make you look like what they really are. They need you to be their garbage bin, their scapegoat. There is no love in that, so keep away from these evildoers.

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry

onsdag 27 maj 2015

Double Rules

Atleast some of us are...

Evil people have two sets of rules - one for themselves, and one for you. So lets dig deeper into why they feel like they are not like us, but something better. In my opinion they are of a lower evolvement, lacking traits that a true spiritual human ought to have. And guess what, so does the ancient wise ones understand it. There are also another kind of human here on earth, according to them, and finally I could recognize myself in a group of beings, that come straight from source. I've always felt like a watcher, someone here to collect data, so to be able to report back when I go home again. If you've read my blog you know that I do remember coming here from source, so I don't just believe this, I remember this. I was from an early age informed, by myself, to be very careful what I said to these so called humans, here on this plane, as I understood that people were taken away and locked up for speaking out of terms. 

I remember being five years old, knowing this, though no-one that I can remember ever having informed me about this danger. So I told myself to be very quite, melt in and just observe and learn this plane. I truly feel like it's been my mission to not be making too much waves, but more let others do the waving. However it's impossible to live here without impacting others now and then, and when it comes to spiritual matters, what is right and what is wrong, I must put down my foot and stand my ground. So some times you just make waves by not doing anything but refusing to let liars get away with their cons. And they do hate when do-gooders hinder them in their evil deeds, so they will notice you if you do such a thing. But all that I think is very good, as they give me material to collect and bring back about what is wrong with this place and some beings that reside here. These beings not being properly functioning, since they are spiritually deficiant and therefore psychopathic by nature. 

It might very well not be their bodies and brains that are not working properly, but the driver in the seat that just don't have all the marbles in place to make this beautiful vessel, called our bodies, to work on full mode. Lets listen to this read below and learn more about this pathology, of people who believe they have one set of rules to live by, and the rest of us without their pathology another, as they believe us to be their minions, their slaves and servants. I know this is just their delusion, as this is the realm they've been ruling now for awhile, and they truly believe that they are the best of the best evolution wise. But the truth is that their regime is coming to an end, as they are poorly deficiant and outdated. It gets darkest before the dawn, so for all of human kind to wake up and see that there are non-humans walking among us, dressed in human bodies, they need to be too obvious to ignore. That time has come very near now. Listen and learn:


Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry

tisdag 26 maj 2015

Hidden Agendas

The hidden agenda aspect is typical for all narcissists of the more or less malignant type. Malignant means lack of empathy, from which alot of other disturbing traits arrive. Narcissists are masters of pretence, so just cause they totally lack empathy does not mean that you will know this or even suspect it. They are masters of diversion, which means that they will focus your attention on something else, so not to notice all weird things about them. The blog below is referring to spouses, but truth be told this is how anyone you are in some kind of relation with would act. I will let you read the blog as there is not much more I can add here, that I not already said in my many posts: 
http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/narcissistic-spouses-thrive-on-their-hidden-agendas/



Narcissistic Spouses Thrive on their Hidden Agendas

Narcissists don't tell the truth. It has been unfamiliar to them since childhood. From the beginning they learned to make up stories about their self importance, social mastery, intellectual brilliance, unique talents. These vignettes of greatness effortlessly roll off of their tongues. They have been practicing the art of self deception all of their lives. 

Narcissists are highly secretive in their words and deeds. Everything they do or say is designed to protect their sense of perfection, self importance, superiority and greatness. This is especially the case with the classic larger than life narcissist. (This post refers to male and female narcissists). 

When you enter a relationship with a narcissist it is unlikely you will be aware of how these individuals operate. Don't blame yourself. The classic narcissist is highly skilled at attracting people to him whom he can control, manipulate and exploit. Many narcissists are very charming and attractive. They have an exciting vibe that magnetizes us to them. They know what to say that evokes a positive response within us. When the narcissist is on his seduction game it is very difficult to back off. We take in the compliments, the laser beam attention that encompasses us, the feeling of confidence that they communicate. The air is electric with their presence. It is a very believable fantasy. We are swept up by the charm offense of this intriguing individual. We are captivated and can't let go. This is the beginning of the story for many individuals and their encounters with highly skilled narcissistic personalities. 

Beneath the surface of this high level stage performance is the hidden agenda. The narcissist is seeking something from you that he must have as a narcissistic supply that will enhance his perfect image and worldly stature: your physical attractiveness, social/business status, financial positioning, your influential family connections, your education and professional pedigree. The narcissist knows how to "go for the gold" that he finds in you. He may even need to find someone of good character to play against his less than sterling moral profile. 

Some readers and clients tell me that they knew before they married their spouse that he was narcissistic -- self absorbed, selfish, lacking empathy, given to rising rages, image driven and lacking in emotional intimacy. Despite this intuitive sight they married the narcissist anyway. 

As the years of the marriage progress, the character traits of the narcissist come sharply into view. The spouse is constantly subjected to the Hidden Agenda. Promises made are always broken. The reasons for these breaches are lies that work for the narcissist's whims and desires. During the end of these marriages the narcissistic spouse insists that a fair meditation agreement that will be fair and amicable. Not true! The narcissist hires lawyers from hell (often narcissistic personalities) who whipsaw the opposing side into a court room ordeal designed to exhaust and drain the victim of abuse. In the meantime the narcissistic spouse secretly moves his financial resources to safety for his private use. 

Making and acting on the decision to leave a narcissistic spouse permanently is a huge step. It is a difficult road to travel but a necessary one if you are going to move forward with your life and the recovery that you deserve. As you heal you know deep inside that there are never going to be any more hidden agendas or psychological ambushes. 

Learn to put yourself first. You deserve this. The process of healing requires your patience and self understanding. Be kind to yourself and give yourself tremendous credit for moving ever more confidently along your life journey.

by Linda Martinez-Lewi, PhD



The key concept here is that people know before they marry the narcissist that it's a selfish, unkind person, down inside. I thought that came out after they'd married, but she writes that actually they did know before. So remember what is said in the words of wisdom in the picture above. How devestating a narcissist mother is. I'd say that also a narcissistic father is devestating, but somehow I believe that if you have a normal, loving mother, she can compensate for a asshat of father. But it's harder for a father, as men so often end up as enablers. Well, so do many women, so it's not good for a child to have any narcissistic parent. Many children of narcissists are not seen as individuals, but as copies of their narcissist parent, which in case they become the golden child. Or they might be seen as a horrible copy of the spouce, in case they are bullied and ridiculed by the narcissist. Either way, you will not be seen as the person you truly are. If you have narcissistic siblings they will also hold on to this fictious image of who you are. Many children also end up acting like puppets to the narcissistic parent. Like performance monkeys. They are ment to jump when told to, and smile and behave like perfect offspring. So, overall is there no upside to marry a narcissist. If you get enchanted by one you can have a short love affair, but use a condome, and preferably some other preventions too, so not to get any children by the weirdo. 

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry

måndag 11 maj 2015

Sagan Om Den Gamla Orättvisan

Varje relation med en narcissist är att likna vid ett skeppsvrak.
Det här är en blogg om en vanföreställning som narcissister ofta lider av, nämligen att när något händer dig och du reagerar, eller snarare AGERAR, pga det som inträffat, så beror det på något väldigt gammalt, som hände för mycket länge sedan. Det här yttrar sig oftast genom att de till omgivningen berättar en saga om denna gamla oförrätt och att detta är skälet till ditt märkliga beteende. Emellanåt använder de olika tillsynes psykologiskt mumbo jumbo, som för den otränade kan låta väldigt imponerande. De är också mycket noga med att låta som om de är väl underrättade och att de har denna information från säker källa. De får det ofta att låta som om ni umgås eller människor i din närhet umgås med dem. Detta är oftast förstås så långt ifrån verkligheten man kan komma, då dessa relationer oftast runnit ut i sanden, eller aldrig funnits, när saker börjar gå riktigt illa mellan dig och narcissisten.


Så dessa sagor är en del av deras förtalskampanj mot dig, men de är också en tröstnapp åt narcissisten, som istället för att analysera sina egna handlingar efter vad de valt att blint tro på, agerar som de skitstövlar de är och behöver då en riktigt löjlig anledning för ditt agerande, så du i både deras egna förvridna sinnen, samt i omgivningens, uppfattas som en fullkomlig idiot. Det är därför sagor om gamla oförrätter, eller ännu värre inbillade sårade känslor från tidig barndom, kommer fram. Det är alltså inte så att de alltid erkänner att du hade någon anledning att då för länge sedan haft negativa erfarenheter, utan de gör ofta om detta till något påhittat och överdrivet. Så det är inte så att de erkänner gamla synder och nu säger att du är arg på dem för något hemskt de utsatte dig för när du var mycket liten. Det hade ju fallit tillbaka på dem själva, så de gör ofta om en verklig händelse från förr, till något riktigt löjligt, och hävdar att du beter dig såhär nu pga gamla känslor du inte klarat av att hantera, eftersom du förstås inte mår psykiskt särskilt bra, och bevisligen aldrig gjort det. Ja, eftersom du tagit så illa vid dig för absolut ingenting. 


Det är alltså ingen ände på deras sagoberättande, och i hela deras sagovärld så är de hjältar och fantastiska övermänniskor. Om de någonsin skulle erkänna att du hade anledning att vara ledsen för något i det förflutna, så var även de offer och allt som hände er var helt utanför deras ansvar. Det är till och med så att de drabbats minst lika svårt, och som synes beter sig inte de så illa som du gör! Ungefär så ser deras ständiga hjältesaga ut och det blir i slutändan fullkomligt outhärdligt, då ingenting som du agerar efter har någon direkt orsak i något som hände för länge sen, utan är en direkt orsak av en direkt händelse som narcissisterna utfört i nutid. Däremot så är det förstås så att om du känt dem väldigt länge lär de gjort en himla massa knasiga saker genom åren, så detta som de gjorde allra sist är sällan något som inte återspeglas i deras tidigare beteende. Samtidigt som alltså narcissisten skyller ditt beteende på något väldigt gammalt och oftast otroligt vagt och märkligt, så kanske du även lagt märke till genom åren att närhelst du försökt konfrontera den med faktiska nutida beteenden, och då dra paralleller till liknande händelser inte för långt tillbaka i tiden, så är det narcissisten själv som direkt tystar alla såna försök. 


De vill alltså när konfronterade, och avslöjade som återfallsförbrytare, aldrig prata om tidigare händelser, utan lägger då stor möda vid att hävda hur illa du beter dig som drar upp gammalt groll. Det är lite märkligt hur alla med narcissistiska erfarenheter berättar om just detta, hur narcissisten spelar detta kort varje gång, att du ska glömma och gå vidare. De får det att se ut som om du är boven i dramat, för att du märker att de är just återförbrytare, som om och om igen gör den handling som skapar dig smärta och förlust. Samtidigt så är deras modus operandi alltså att helt ändra ståndpunkt och genast dra upp gammalt skit, om de vill trycka ner dig av någon anledning. Ju större publik och i desto mer förödmjukande situation, ju mer benägna är de att dra upp gammal skit. De vinklar då också gärna händelsen så de kommer ut som oskyldiga offer, och du som någon tanklös skurk. Dvs när du pratar direkt med dem målar de upp dig som en skurk för att tala om gamla händelser, där de framställs i dålig dager, medan det sen gäller omvända regler när de inför utomstående återberättar saker du gjort i det förgångna. Ja, även när de saknar publik så är det okey för dem att dra fram gammalt, men aldrig för dig.


Denna dubbelstandard är i grunden alltså i symbios med deras sagoberättande, då mycket av detta sker just såhär, rätt i ansiktet på dig, med eller utan publik. Men det mesta av denna fiktion pågår dock bakom din rygg, där allt som hänt mellan er görs om till något helt annat. Genom att narcissister oftast är såna skvallerkärringar så har de redan långt innan du ens vet att något pågår berättat en saga om dig, där du är en suspekt och märklig figur, och de underbara hjältar. Men som jag nämnt redan så synes det som om de som verkligen är narcissister - och inte bara maligna personer, vilket är vad man kan kalla sociopater - faktiskt tror på sina egna sagor. Som om de likt omogna barn berättar dessa fiktioner till sig själva och omvärlden, för att dels trösta sig själva, och dels få omvärlden att hålla med dem och trösta dem att de har rätt. För att ha rätt krävs det att de gör om det som verkligen hänt, till något helt annat, så då skapar de sina sagor. Om en person ljuger och vet att den ljuger, så berättar den sagor endast för att få andra att tro på dem. Men om den ljuger för sig själv också, så gör den det för att få andra att övertala den om att deras sagor nog egentligen är sanna. Det är skälet varför jag sett att somliga ljuger mest, medan andra sprider runt värre dessa lögner, med lite extra sagor tillagda.


De som hjälper en lögnare är ju möjliggörarna, medlöparna, och utan dessa hade ingen mobbning eller förtalskampanj varit möjlig. Bas för dessa historier brukar alltså vara någon vansinnig berättelse om långt tillbakaliggande händelser, eller någon enskild händelse de hört talas om hänt dig under de senaste månaderna, eller åren. Ju märkligare och osammanhängande med dina aktioner som händelsen är, ju bättre, tycks narcissisten tänka. En annan tanke jag haft är att de projicerar såna här helt osakliga motiv och orsaker på en för att provocera och skapa mer missämja mellan er, ända tills du ger upp och inte orkar bråka längre, varvid då narcissisten vunnit, enligt den själv. Vad som är verkligt och vad du på riktigt känner eller tänker saknar alltid helt intresse för en narcissist på krigsstigen. Istället kommer den att fokusera på det minst relevanta och sprida ut påståenden om dina motiv som är så motsatta som möjligt mot vad du fram tills dess försökt åstadkomma. Återigen misstänker jag att detta sker för att öka konflikten till sitt max, i syfte att trötta ut dig emotionellt tills du ger upp och låter narcissisten vinna bråket. Det finns ju en gräns för hur mycket skit man orkar ta, innan man ser att man har att göra med en människa bortom allt sunt förnuft. 


Om narcissisten skulle hitta någonting någonstans där du beskriver dina barndomsminnen, kan du räkna med att de kommer på något vis anknyta till dem i syfte att exploatera det de tror är det mest smärtfyllda och framställa dig som fortfarande besatt av dessa, eller på något annat vis använda det. Hur och i vilket syfte de skulle göra det beror förstås på skälet bakom er nuvarande konflikt och vad narcissisten önskar uppnå. Du kan dock räkna med att de drar fram gamla saker de märkt att du fortfarande minns och målar upp det på något vis så du ska missgynnas i andras ögon. De framställer gärna andra som besatta av sånt som hänt för väldigt länge sen och använder just som bevis varje minne du tycker om att återberätta, oavsett hur detta sker. Om du ömt berättar om en avliden person, drar de fram det som om du är besatt av denne, och att dina handlingar och gärningar beror på denna ohälsosamma besatthet. Jag har själv sett hur en narcissist lyckats sprida sin version av makens reaktion vid skilsmässan, så att den istället för att falla tillbaka på henne hamnade på en avliden kär släkting. Dvs att reaktionen helt berott på en gammal sorg och inte av den naturliga anledningen att ett långt äktenskap plötsligt, och slutgiltigt, var över. 


Så om du blir arg på lögner och förtal vid ett arvskifte så framställs du av narcissisterna som varande arg pga avundsjuka som grundar sig på er barndom. Dvs du framställs som en långsint och bitter person, som utav hämnd och småsinthet plötsligt attackerat den ärofyllda hjälten eller hjältinnan. Att du skulle spelat teater under mer än 50 år och låtsats vara en materialistiskt ointresserad person och istället i smyg missunnat allt som dina syskon erhållit genom tiggeri och snikenhet. Det är så som narcissisterna försöker trolla bort den sista och slutgiltiga snikenheten som de för en sista gång kan utföra i en familj, när föräldrarna till sist gått bort. Oftast blir det ju mest frågan om ett arvskifte egentligen, då den efterlevande maken eller makan sitter i orubbat bo, men ibland blir det två. För narcissisten gäller också en till agenda när det är två bodelningar, nämligen att för den kvarlevande föräldern framställa sina syskon som så snikna och otrevliga som möjligt. Det för att påverka denne att lämna så mycket som möjligt till narcissisten och så lite det bara går till de andra. Detta är inget jag hittat på, utan ett omtalat och välkänt modus operandi i alla familjer där narcissister huserar. Inga arvskiften går någonsin hederligt och trevligt till med såna.


Av vad jag kunnat komma fram till genom mina studier i ämnet och även intervjuer med andra drabbade, är att enda sättet att slippa obehag är att helt enkelt avsäga sig all arvsrätt. Det är faktiskt exakt det som narcissisterna är ute efter och det som de i slutändan helst ser sker. Men om det sker fullständigt frivilligt och utan några bråk i förväg, så blir det svårare för narcissisten att måla upp dig i dålig dager, även om jag är säker att de ändå kan lyckas med det, så bra förtalare som alla narcissister tycks vara. Det är ändå mycket lättare att lura syskonen att gå med på att dela på potten och att mitt i detta börja göra helsjuka saker, som förvirrar och irriterar dessa. Det är så som lögnare och narcissister och andra psykopater skapar oro, missnöje, irritationer och aggressioner. Genom att göra absurda och rent ut sagt sinnessjuka saker. En sån sak är att ljuga helt uppenbart och att sen envist hålla fast vid lögnen, alltmedan man drar med sig en rad människor, som inte var där, i lögnen. Ju fler som "tror" på lögnen, fast de inte var där, ju värre kommer de som vet vad som verkligen hände uppleva hela situationen. Till slut blir det så fruktansvärt att många hoppar av och skiter i sin arvslott, som ett sista desperat försök att rentvå sitt fullständigt nedsmutsade namn.


Vad jag vill berätta är att allt detta spelar bara mobbarna rakt i händerna. Ingen kommer någonsin höra talas om din uppoffring, utan istället kommer alla höra sagan om hur DU lurade av narcissisten sitt arv. Ja, så kommer faktiskt sagan gå, för så har jag själv hört den berättas av en sådan sagoberätterska. Efter att har lurat och bråkat och härjat tills syskonen gav efter, somliga mer än andra, så framställdes sen den mest lurade som en av de som lurat sagoberättaren på mängder av pengar. Helt tvärtemot sanningen, men så berättades denna saga fram till syskonets tragiska bortgång. Om en sådan sagoberättare någonsin känner ånger det tvivlar jag på, just av skälet att den här formen av narcissism, som jag beskriver här, oftast är så fullkomligt bortom all sans och moral, att de till och med ljuger för sig själva. Det är därför omgivningen ofta beskriver dessa personer som "besatta" och att det inte går att tala med dem, då ingen logik eller logiskt resonemang går fram. Det kan vara lagar, regler och annat, som narcissisten inte kan ta till sig, då den är fullkomligt upphakad på en fix idé om dess egen rätt. Det kan vara muntliga löften, som narcissisten påstår sig ha fått av den döde, men som inte finns bekräftat i några testamenten. 


Eller det kan vara annat som helt saknar legitimitet vid arv. Saker som de andra syskonen aldrig hört den avlidne säga, men som ändå hävdas med bestämdhet, trots att det alltså inte har grund i någon lag. Allt sånt som är upp till syskonens välvilja och det är där som sagoberättandet kommer så väl till pass, för lögnaren. Det för att dessa sagor bygger upp en fiktion av att alla dessa myter varit rikligt och öppet pratade om bland alla barn och med föräldrarna. Genom att framställa det på det här sättet önskar narcissisten få andra att se negativt på de syskon som vägrar uppfylla dessa fantasier, som saknar grund i lagliga dokument. Saker som de i realiteten bara hört sagoberättaren viska om, men aldrig samtalat närmare om med den som avlidit. För att riktigt skapa drama och göra syskonen arga kan sen alltså narcissisten, eller låt oss kalla personen för den maligne sociopaten, göra som i min familj, dvs visa beviset på att hela sagan var en lögn. Därefter kan sagan bit för bit återskapas så den närmar sig lite sanningen, och därmed då få lögnaren att verka ärlig, då den frånsäger sig en stor del av den myt som den ursprungligen spann. Det här är ett utmärkt sätt att dels stilla sitt samvete, som lögnare, och dels få alla att blint attackera de som man visat sanningen för. Det för att vad de säger är så i helt motsatts till den ursprungliga sagan, så ingen kan tro på dem.


Iallafall ingen som är smittad av narcissism kan tro på personer som berättar om vad de sett och upplevt, när det strider mot dogmer de låtit sig övertalas är sant, antingen genom sina egenlögner, eller genom andras lögner. Det är ju omöjligt för oss utomstående, som inte skapat dessa lögner, att veta vem som medvetet ljugit från början, och vem som bara hakat på i mobbningståget. Det just för att dessa sagor och myter kan pågå så länge, speciellt som du har en mycket malign person i din närhet så kan de det. Dessa maligna personer har alltid väldigt endimensionell syn på andra människor, där andra mer är som seriefigurer än riktiga individer. De sorterar även in folk i grupper, vilka de fjäskar och är trevliga emot, och såna de skiter i att spela upp en mask för. Så länge någon de anser det finns skäl att fjäska för finns i närheten kan du se ett ansikte, medan masken helt glider av så snart denne avlägsnat sig. Detta är skälet varför andra sen inte tror dig, för de har aldrig sett detta. Ett annat skäl är förstås att de är av samma skrot och korn och anser också att du förtjänar en mer avklädd behandling, utan handskar och masker. Många plågas alltså just av denna komplexitet i lögnerna och mobbarna. 


Den enda riktlinje jag kan råda en att ta i såna situationer är att konfrontera de du verkligen vill ha kontakt med för att testa vattnet. De som avvisar dig och går lögnarens linje måste du oavkortat avskriva som en ovärdig vän eller släkting. Detta är egentligen i slutändan den allra svåraste delen med att ha narcissister i din allra närmaste familj, då blodsband är svårast att skära av. Speciellt med sådana du ser inte är maligna, men ändå valt att tro ont om dig pga förtal från en riktigt sjuk jävel. Och som sagt så är det i många fall flera som sprider det här förtalet, fullt medvetna om att det egentligen är rent ogrundad påhitt. För de som är galna narcissister bryr sig inte om bevis, utan använder just sin fantasi för att skapa en realitet som låter någorlunda vettig, men där dock du som utsett mobbningsoffer pekas ut som helknasig. Ju fler som håller med om dessa sagor, ju fler kommer givetvis att tro på förtalet, så det är av högsta vikt för vilka mobbare som helst att få med alla de som du verkligen älskar och behöver i ditt liv i deras sagovärld. Det för att skapa max skada för dig psykiskt. Att få dina föräldrar och den generationen att stöta bort dig ger dig ingen uppbackning från de äldre. Att få syskon och din partner att gå emot dig är ännu värre. Och allra värst är att ta dina barn ifrån dig. Allt sånt som narcissister är mästare på att göra mot de som de torterar. 


För att få det du eftersöker måste du befria dig från allt och alla som är under narcissistens inflytande. Du behöver frid och det kan du först få efter du sluppit bort ifrån narcissisternas galenskapande. Kom ihåg att även människor som umgås med narcissisten eller någon av dennes lakejer är under inflytande från narcissisten, så i slutändan är det väldigt många du kan komma att behöva stryka från ditt umgänge. Men kom ihåg att kolla med alla du uppskattar, och kanske även en del andra, om de faktiskt inte känner exakt som du i frågan. Vem vet, någon du alltid trott varit en riktigt idiot i din släkt var kanske också bara ett förtalsoffer av den här narcissisten? Det är faktiskt möjligt att göra det här till något positivt om du inser att det kan finnas många fler som har liknande berättelser och som faktiskt förstår att inte döma efter myter och påhitt från dessa lögnare. Åtminstone är det värt ett försök för att inte helt förlora alla man känt i hela sitt liv, från barndomen, bara för att man inte längre orkar med skiten från några få i ens närmaste ursprungsfamilj. Det finns inga lagar som säger att du måste stå ut med lögner och svek, bara för att de kommer ifrån blodssläktingar. De som anser det är säkerligen narcissister allihop och gillar att plåga sin familj. 


Friden kommer av att inte mer behöva få fler galenskaper projicerade över på oss. Som just detta att de elakheter som de själva orsakade för väldigt länge sedan, skulle av oss gått helt över huvudet i över 50 år, för att sen plötsligt upptäckas och få oss att reagera med "avund". Detta är precis sådana sagor som berättats i det arvskifte vi befunnit oss i nu sedan hösten 2012. Detta samtidigt som den mest upphöjda av dessa narcissister var den som uppvisade alla tecken på avund och jämrade sig avundsjukt från första början. Men det är så det går till när du umgås med narcissister, att de som de upphöjt får aldrig kritiseras, och om du gör det så projiceras allt som de själva gjort emot dig. Om du påpekar att detta är vad de gör, vänder på steken, låtsas de inte höra. Istället kommer bara mer galenskaper, projiceringar och ljug över deras läppar. Det är verkligen som om de från sitt allra första möte med dig, då för väldigt länge sedan, skapat all denna orättvisa och alla dessa elakheter emot dig just för att använda dem i evig tid och plåga dig med. För när det händer har du aldrig rätt att prata om dem eller känna det du känner, eller ens reagera negativt mot en mycket negativ händelse i ditt liv. Och sen har du aldrig rätten att någonsin prata om det, utan deras påhopp. Det är så det upplevs för alla som drabbats, så för ett skönt liv gäller det att lämna dessa as långt i bakvattnet. 


När du trotsar deras tabun och går emot dem och ändå skriver och pratar om allt man inte fick nämna, så kommer narcissisten ovillkorligen tro att du ältar detta för att du nu plötsligt upptäckt att det som skett var patologiskt. Det är något som jag kan tänka mig inte faller i god jord hos narcissisten att du så tydligt "upptäckt", men det sorgliga är att du faktiskt alltid vetat det, men bara först nu orkar skriva om det. Så när narcissisten tror du upptäckt något, och först nu börjar skriva "skit om dem", så är sanningen att du pratat om dessa händelser, och tusen till, med dina allra närmaste vänner i hela ditt liv. Inget av det du skriver är nytt och inget är plötsligt upptäckt som malignt uppförande, även om du just nu lärt dig några namn på dessa företeelser. Faktum är att jag redan som 5-åring visste vad som var friskt beteende och vad som var rent ut sagt sinnessjukt, så redan då ansåg jag att min mamma var just sinnessjuk. Något jag senare fått bekräftat från flera andra håll att andra drabbade också dragit som slutsats. Detta var skälet att jag aldrig, i stort sett, konfronterade henne med hennes galenskaper, då jag ansåg att hon var i grunden en tu-delad människa, där den ena inte hade en aning om vad den andra gjorde, dvs sinnessjuk.


Hela beteendet hos narcissister tyder på att de först på vilje skapar orättvisor mot andra för att sen inbilla sig att det aldrig hänt eller saknade betydelse, därför att den drabbade saknar betydelse och är för oviktig för att ha rättigheter. Så de till och med inbillar sig att den som de psykiskt misshandlat, genom orättvisor, egentligen inte riktigt märkte detta, utan först sådär 50 år senare plötsligt inser att detta hade hänt. Sanningen är som sagt att man vetat hela tiden, men när man inte kan komma bort från en orättvis situation lär man sig leva med den. Som jag sa till min narcissistiska morsa, när hon frågade mig hur det skulle gå nu med arvskiftet. Det kommer gå alldeles utmärkt, svarade jag, om vi bara gör allt som hennes favoriter (sa namnen egentligen till henne) vill och håller käften och bara håller med. Hon skrattade lite nervöst över mitt uttalande, och nu förstår jag varför. Därför att hon inte fattat att jag hela tiden vetat om hur vår familj fungerar, vem som bestämmer, vem som räknas och vem som kan lika gärna gå och dränka sig, så oviktig och skitäcklig är den. Tack, hon har ju noga låtit mig få veta detta i hela mitt liv, mitt emellan på-låtsas-bry-sig-om perioder. Sanningen har alltid varit där i bakgrunden, men alla människor har i sig en möjlighet att ändra sig och bli bättre människor.


Denna tro på alla människors möjlighet att ändra sig, är skälet att man som barn till narcissister ändå stannar kvar i relation med dem så länge som man gör. När man slutgiltigt inser att föräldern aldrig kommer bry sig och att allting som de gjort emot en i livet är en rad av bevis och inga "tillfälligheter", "misstag" eller "tanklöshet". En människa som vill utvecklas och bli en bättre människa tar lärdom av sina misstag och försöker att inte upprepa dem. En sån människa lär sig att andra behöver höra att man ångrar sig när man varit tanklös och att man inte kan göra samma typ av dumhet mot en annan, om och om igen, och hela tiden tro att den andre ska tro på tillfälligheter. Det behövs inte många upprepningar av samma beteende mot en och samma person förrän den ser att andra inte behandlas på samma sätt. Det är då man lär sig att man lever bland människor som är mycket motsträviga mot att bli bättre människor och bry sig om andras känslor. Dåliga människor tycker till och med om när de kan hitta den ömmaste punkten och trycka där. Det visste jag redan som liten att hon och hennes dåvarande favorit älskade att göra mot oss andra. Slå oss under bältet, där det gjorde som mest ont, brukade jag beskriva det för brodern var det han gjorde. Då skrattade han, av någon anledning glad för att jag visste att han var elak på vilje. 


Ärligen så misstänker jag att de gillar att de som de plågar är de enda som fattar vad det gör, men samtidigt gillar de inte om vi kan uttrycka det för bra till omvärlden. Därav alla attacker mot mina bloggar, med fler lögner för att framställa det jag gör i så negativ dager som möjligt. Det är så de alltid gör om man talar om vad de gör, medan de alltid förtalar andra hur mycket de vill - alltid för allas bästa. Så när de ljuger och förtalar oskyldiga framställer de det som någon slags hjältemodig samhällstjänst, medan när de som de förtalar försöker sprida lite sanning i galenskapen, så är de skurkar. Ärligen, dessa människor känns inte alls som riktiga människor, utan mer som arketypiska skurkar du kan se i vilken saga eller film som helst. De som åker runt i flotta bilar, dricker champagne och ljuger och konspirerar för att komma upp sig i världen. Sen kommer någon hederlig filmhjälte på vad de egentligen sysslar med, varefter alla poliser och myndigheter vänds emot vår hjälte, för att skurken äger politiker, media eller rent av polischeferna. Det är så det ser ut i sagornas värld, och det är inte helt fel från hur det ser ut i verkligheten. Skurkar gömmer sig bakom lögner och mer lögner.


Ju större lögner, ju bättre fasad kan de gömma sig bakom, så det är svårt att avslöja dem, men i filmen brukar saker lösa sig till slut och alla fattar vem den riktige skurken är. I verkligheten så tycks det ta lite mer tid, men oftast slutar det likadant där. En tid jagas och mördas sanningssägarna av skurkarna, och i nästa jagas skurkarna och de som överlevt tortyr och människojakten får komma fram igen ur sina gömställen. Det som är patologiskt är när den som behandlat andra orättvist tycks eftertrakta avundsjuka från andra. Jag tror bestämt att det är grunden för deras märkliga beteende - att försöka göra om goda människor till lika själviska och ha-giriga svin som de själva. Så de ser till att tydligt vara orättvisa, och sen använder de denna egentillverkade orättvisa som vapen mot de som de behandlat illa. Detta för att de själva vill att andra ska vara avundsjuka på dem, inte för att andra är det. Andra kanske vill att allt ska gå rättvist till, vilket inte är avund. Rättvisa är inte avund, men det är tydligt att patologiska narcissister gillar att kategorisera all rättvisa, där alla människor behandlas värdigt och efter förtjänst, som "avundsjuka". Det för att det är de som är avundsjuka och det är därför de inte kan unna någon annan att vara lycklig. Deras avundsjuka är så djup att de blir olyckliga av att se andra lyckliga, speciellt de som de valt ut att alltid undanhålla likvärdig behandling och rättvisa.

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry

måndag 4 maj 2015

Spirit Possession


Many seem to be under possession at this very moment and they all show the same signs. That is an aggression and hurtful cruelty that I only could contribute to the energy of demons. Like so often the most devious beings are hiding behind a veil of righteousness, which they uphold through a constant projection of their own evilness towards others. In any religion or group there will be a few that are instable and have let themselves be taken over by maliciousness and how to spot them is very hard, as they so very convincingly will point their fingers to others. In most cases it's the one that acts holier then holy, the one that will not respect others experiences or knowledge. Whatever the other tells them that is honest and truthful, they will turn around into accusations about the other. As a matter of fact it seems like the most typical trait of those, whom themselves so openly brag about being overtaken by spirits, that they accuse those understanding the meaning of that as being the evil ones. For instance, you find yourself explaining to a possessed person, who clearly himself brags about being taken over by spirit, that it's natural that he'd get a spirit to enter him, since he asked for it. That it's nothing perculiar, but he asked, so he opened up and let another spirit enter into the body his spirit so far has been in possession of. 

There is no absolut in this statement, only a possibility, since the person himself bragged about this event, like he was now closer to God, as he's certain that the spirit inside him are the very one people call Jesus. There are spirits all around us, and if we need another spirit to guide us, as we are lousy guides ourselves, someone might enter and take control of our lives. That is what I've figured out and also supported of my own memory of how my spirit entered into this body, while it was being born. Either the baby's body totally lacked a spirit when I entered, or I was a very early walk-in, which is what they call spirits that enter bodies that already has been controlled by another. We are all spirits, so to be honest there is something very hostile and weird about the reaction that you might receive when you tell this to someone who themselves proclaim to have been taken over by a spirit, calling itself "Jesus". A spirit might stay and it might only communicate something and then leave your body again, and the spirit might be truthful and it might lie. Just like living beings are of different kinds, so are spirits. You have caring and helpful spirits that come to people to aid them in need and lift them up and get them strong, and you have mean and nasty ones, that like to cause trouble, and many more kinds. 


If the person being possessed starts to think he's better then others, select, above others, and in a position of judgment out of ridiculous reasons, like you can see below, it most certainly is not a kindhearted spirit ruling him. If you tell a person they are from Hell and a Devil, cause they reveal the secrets of how souls or spirits (I don't really understand the distinction between those and find it unnecessary to even try to) enter this realm, it's pretty judgemental. If you however know something for sure, since you've experienced it for sure, and you talk about it honestly, then you are not judgemental when standing your ground and telling the person never being there, and never seeing any of the kind, that you have the right to your own knowledge and experience. In my view there is something about true knowledge that scares the spirits that are trapped inside the matrix, and they seem to hate anyone who try to give them the key to go home again. They want to stay inside this program, where souls are re-cycled around and around for millions of years. When you die you can choose to wander around as an earthbound spirit, and in many cases those wont even leave the closest surroundings. That kind of very limited souls wont even leave this plane of existens, and will not accept being dead. 

Many will however find the light, the tunnel back to the realm of the eternal souls, and go there, from hence they can come back here whenever they wish to. This is what most souls do after death, even if they often stay awhile to visit their loved ones before they do. However, most will come back after they've gone home and they will look after those they cared for in life. The reason they do this is cause they are still in the program, the matrix, and the place the dead goes to is just the paradise of this realm. It's not beyond this place, it's just another dimension of this same place. From that place many spirits can come and enter into bodies of the living, as there are different perks to be in a body or to be without. All of this is not just my own understanding, but collected from many others knowledge and put together as I understand it. This does not make me into a Devil and Evil, and to be truthful only a very evil person would even go there, calling my thoughts about this, my knowledge of the existens beyond this matrix, as evil. But whenever I encounter someone that both admit to have let another spirit inside himself, that this spirit made him special and lifted him up and changed him, and then also gets extreamly rude and judgemental when I speak about what I know, then I truly suspect it to have been a spirit working for the side of the matrix, that wish to keep all spirits and souls trapped here to feed off them. 


The pain and suffering that exists here does not exist beyond. Here it's something treasured, something almost everyone believe is necessary, that some people are punished unfairly and suffering endlessly, while others live on the lives of others, like enormous tape worms. The users and the used, is the very hallmark of this existens, and to be truthful I consider this to be Purgatory, and very close to Hell. When people die they might be given the opportunity to get some peace by going to a spirit-world that is likened to Paradise, compaired to this place. I also have had many dreams that there are other places for spirits to exist in here in the matrix, but my dreams about the other side have showed me a world that never decays, that are forever fresh and new made. It's like this world, when it's at it's best, and there is no turmoil and unrest. It's a place for recreation, for getting back in shape, where once you've built something it's there forever, in prestine condition. I've dreamt about hellish realms too, where nobody cares for anyone and only obeys the rulers. So don't rule out that it's possible to go there too, if you are a soulless psychopath that cares for nobody but yourself. About this I'm not sure, as I only speak about what I've seen when travelling in dream space. In that dimension there is demons, angels of many kinds and there are also God-heads. 

There is not one God, but they are more like a spirit race, that only show themselves like an enormous head, hence God-head. There are also other beings, like different fairies, and to make things amuzing have I had the opportunity to be many kinds of beings when in dream state. Once I was a fruit fairy, and once a guardian angel, another time I was tempted by demons, but fought them off by taking my true form of an arch angel, and in one dream I was a God-head. In all these different kinds of beings I was always shown the possibilities and limitations of them all. I was told that there was a law against meddling in human affairs by the God-heads, whom only could watch from above and float around invisible to the human eyes, but was not allowed to actually go in and change events here on Earth. It was very frustrating experiencing this, but I think I do understand now, after a couple of these dreams. As a God-head I truly loved the whole creation and every being on Earth, and I felt pride, lika a parent, when some behaved unselfish and helped others, risking their own lives. I understood that they all had eternal lives, and that the choices they made was not important if they lived or died, but that they cared for others and did good by others, and lived honorable lives, even if their lives where short. 


I want to clarify the last sentense, as I've realized that people possessed by nasty little buggers, of low dimension entities, will not understand what I say there. I don't say life does not matter, but that it's more important that you care for life, then actually saving your own life on the expence of others. Nobody really dies, so you could compaire it to a computer game, where you should not kill others, but save others to keep going higher in the game. If you die you only start over again, and if you die trying to save others you will win the game, even if you didn't grow old and lived long in the game. You can accomplish alot in a short life span, and very little in a long. If you've lived a hundred years, killed and thieved your way to the top, like some old Rockerfellar guy, then you still will loose and have to drop to a lower level of the game. If you've isolated yourself from mankind, lived your life by taking care of your own health, but cared for nobody elses, then you might live to you become hundred years old, but still find that you have not ascended to a higher level in the game. This is typical for alot of believes here, that you should do this, teach yourself to control your own powers inside this realm, to do all sorts of seemingly magical things, and then you will be rewarded to become a master in the afterlife. 

There are no masters. There you have it. It's a myth to make people focus on the wrong thing their whole lives, just in the same way that narcissists only focus on their own pleasures, and their own wants, these holy men only focus on their own development. It's very admirable that they take so much time and effort into controlling this game, but it's just really a freaking program, and as soon as you leave none of the rules inside it, will apply outside it. Just saying. The main thing, as I've understood it, is to be kind and helpful to other kind and helpful souls. To try and protect the weak, the young, the sick and the needy. The trick is to not fall for the temptations of the demons, which is a very negative and selfish energy that wish to pull down souls into their own realm, which I'd call Hell to make it easy. It's the weak souls that fall for their tricks, not those weak in their bodies. Many very ill people are very strong in their souls, so remember that. What you see on the surface might be something totally different from what is in the spirit realm. The most grand spirit, with enormous powers of love and wisdom, might be in a weak and fragile body, that hardly works whatsoever. The most beautiful and perfect of humans, with tall and stong bodies, might be easily swayed to follow the road of the wicked. 


One such lure is to get rich, another is fame, and there are many more, where you can loose yourself by selling your soul to gain temporary material matter. Those things don't matter as soon as you are done with life. That's why the saying goes that you can't take anything with you when you die. What matters with matter is what you do with it here and now, and you should share with others, to make all you know, all there is, to have what they need to be able to live nice lives. If you go on holidays many times every year, have collected huge heaps of money, and you have close family members, even children, that are in poverty, that cannot have anything of what you give yourself, then count on you not making it in the next life. Narcissists do this all the time. Parents let their own child and grandchildren live in poverty, while they themselves have more then enough. Most of such rich and old people I don't really despise, or even hate, but I mostly feel pity for them, and maybe a tad bit angry. That's cause not only did they let others suffer unnecessarily, but they also stopped their own ability to evolve in this life. They sat there on a heap of gold, and would not share with those they have in their lives. 

The worse such person behaves, the more chance that he or she will be abandoned in the end. That is cause on top of this selfishness they might actually steal from their poor relatives. They might actually help one or two, but not all, and they will do this in secrecy, as this is how narcissists do things. I want to point out that it's very common with narcissism and these narcissists are often behaving like victims. All are not bad to the core, and I know many that actually do care somewhat for a few people in their lives. They are not totally lost, and some have even noticed that all the wealth and money in the world didn't make them happy. It didn't fill the holes in their hearts. That is very encouraging to me to see, when someone with clear narcissistic traits and believes actually shows those insights. That means that the person was never malignant, only angry and frustrated like a little child. To be like a child is not really bad, unless you let bad spirits enter yourself. Children are the ones most commonly affected by walk-ins, since they are the least attached to their bodies and this life. Many children get very shocked over the horrors and meaness of this world and might actually choose to leave their bodies and give it over to another spirit. So if you've had an experience with a child, where the child "changed" and was not the same anymore, that might be why. 

So lets listen to the video that created a few replies from spirit possessed people. One clearly admitting to having been possessed by a spirit:

First I want to post a few comments by Sonof John who had interesting things to say:

Sonof John says: "Actually you have it backwards... the fool or joker is the Ego spirit within the head... Kinda like an avatar... It steals your imagination..it gives you the authority to judge all of Gods creation... There are two voices within... one is in the Head, it is a dualistic between left brain, and right brain... the second voice is in the heart... they are very clearly different...the one in the head is the cardinal man... Jack is the egos name... he keeps you in the cube of creation... everything in the cube is his... everything outside of the cube is Christs... Christ knocks at the door of the heart... if you open... the cube unfolds and makes a cross... Christ says pick up your cross and follow me... this is the limited reality, or Jail cell, cube created by Jack the Joker. Good luck my friend... your 12 leaves out 13... the observer. oh wow... this is the reason for washing of the feet... it is to overcome the pridefull ego... yes the common folk... because the Ego is too good for such... Take everything you are saying... and apply it to the EGO (edging God out)... this was satans problem... ego... And most men in this world today... Jesus said let no man deceive you... EVEN your Self..."

Sonof John says: "Nothing is as it appears... it is as you imagine... I think I poked a lion... ego... a legend in his own mind (imagination) are you so angry you want to hit me, kill me... so you win... how furious is your ego now..."


Next he quotes from the Bible and one thing is clear - there are many Gods, and this one is pissed that so many are not listening to him, but to others. Like I said above, it's not allowed for God-heads to interfere with our lives, or try to make humans obey them. To do that is the wicked thing, not the people doing their own heart's desires. Remember, that I'm the wicked one for not obeying the appointed rulers of my birth family. They are proven liars and deceivers, with the energy of demons, and in their world I'm evil for not obeying their lies. So beware of trusting judgements of those who're wicked. Liars are wicked. Thieves are too. Those lying to smear an innocent person, who's done nothing but be kind, helpful and a sharing, unselfish person her whole life, those are wicked. So who is the God below? What does he consider wicked? Lies and thievery, or to stand up for the truth and refusing to obey lies? Since that is not clear, none of these quotes below really matters:

Sonof John says: "Genesis 6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. Genesis 8:21 And the Lord smelled a sweet savour; and the Lord said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. Deuteronomy 29:19 And it come to pass, when he heareth the words of this curse, that he bless himself in his heart, saying, I shall have peace, though I walk in the imagination of mine heart, to add drunkenness to thirst: Deuteronomy 31:21 And it shall come to pass, when many evils and troubles are befallen them, that this song shall testify against them as a witness; for it shall not be forgotten out of the mouths of their seed: for I know their imagination which they go about, even now, before I have brought them into the land which I sware."

"1 Chronicles 28:9 And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever. 1 Chronicles 29:18 O Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, our fathers, keep this for ever in the imagination of the thoughts of the heart of thy people, and prepare their heart unto thee: Proverbs 6:18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,"


Sonof John says: "Jeremiah 3:17 At that time they shall call Jerusalem the throne of the Lord; and all the nations shall be gathered unto it, to the name of the Lord, to Jerusalem: neither shall they walk any more after the imagination of their evil heart. Jeremiah 7:24 But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward. Jeremiah 9:14 But have walked after the imagination of their own heart, and after Baalim, which their fathers taught them: Jeremiah 11:8 Yet they obeyed not, nor inclined their ear, but walked every one in the imagination of their evil heart: therefore I will bring upon them all the words of this covenant, which I commanded them to do: but they did them not." 

"Jeremiah 13:10 This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing. Jeremiah 16:12 And ye have done worse than your fathers; for, behold, ye walk every one after the imagination of his evil heart, that they may not hearken unto me: Jeremiah 18:12 And they said, There is no hope: but we will walk after our own devices, and we will every one do the imagination of his evil heart. Jeremiah 23:17 They say still unto them that despise me, The Lord hath said, Ye shall have peace; and they say unto every one that walketh after the imagination of his own heart, No evil shall come upon you."

"Lamentations 3:60 Thou hast seen all their vengeance and all their imaginations against me. Lamentations 3:61 Thou hast heard their reproach, O Lord, and all their imaginations against me; Luke 1:51 He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. Romans 1:21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; King James Version (KJV)"



Sonof John says: "I wish you well... you heart is hardened your bound to vain imaginations... and blinded by your own wisdom... but there is an old saying... I dont know enough to judge... and if i did, I wouldnt... so be happy"

Below is some very good comments:

Wildrhody says: "+Truthiracy3 Don't let those, who are under a government god-spell (gospel) phase you! If the Bible was truly God's Word, then I'm pretty sure he would have been smart enough to come up with another name for it, which didn't contain the words Bile, Lie, and Bib, with the latter, and most prominent word, to catch the mindless baby's drool. That baby needs a mommy or daddy savior, b/c it hasn't reached adulthood, nor does it have any clue about growing up, and taking responsibility for itself. Further, it is blasphemy to think that God wasn't smart enough, to encode everything we needed to know, from the very beginning, within our DNA, like He did with the animal kingdom. No, daddy government had to invent a tool, using a trademarked corporate uppercased L-O-R-D, to rule over everyone with fear. They created FEARS for FARES, using PROPHETS for PROFITS, by those who PREY, against those who PRAY. See Gen 2, where GOLD'S location is given before Eve's creation. That pretty much sums it up!"

caztle05 says: "+Truthiracy3 it's remarkable and quasi scary at the same time seeing how many ppl really are fanatical or are programmed to speak in the same exact way in their stance about God and Jesus existence. There are many books that do cover what you are talking about in your work, except not as deep as the way you have taught it here in your vids. For that I commend you. You have a noble cause and it is for that reason alone why I keep watching. You bring truth and best of all you can back up all your claims with cold hard evidence. These poor delusional fools only know how to speak what they've been taught to say by their preacher or pastor, mother or father, and by the bible; they talk thinking that they are this Jesus character speaking through them in spirit, and then direct all this nonsense to you. Recycling word after word of scripture and of sunday sermons. Sadly they don't understand, but not because they are stupid but because they don't wish to learn or understand. Their only wish is to convert you, or perhaps bring themselves glorification for the purpose of being correct; all in the name of God. Sad when you think about it. So many are moving but really are at slumber. Thanks Truth."


Truthiracy3 says: "+Sonof John Actually I am not angry at you at all, but these other so called Christians are the first to call me names and be rude!"

Truthiracy3 says: "+SirHaylin You serve a man made God, not the REAL GOD! You worship the Hebrew Canaan Phoenician BULL GOD EL TORU!!! A God that LIKES THE SWEET SMELL OF BURNING FLESH!!!!! A FAKE ASS MAN MADE GOD who slays a good man for accidently touching the falling Ark of the Covenant, which of course means to cut the sacrifice (meat) in two! lol EL OLAM (God Eternal) is from Ugarit thousands of years before the Biblical EL OLAM!! Both live in a tent, in the desert, both are the bearded wise ones, father to all the other Gods (Elohim) and to Father to MANKIND the ABU ADAMI thus Biblical ADAM, in the Land of EDEN which the Bible stole as The Garden of Eden! I could go one for days, but if one chooses to ignore and be ignorant, the horse won't drink the wisdom!"

ZilchNilton says: "+SirHaylin Actually John 1 reads: "In the beginning was the Logos". Do some research on this term Logos & you'll find its just another concept borrowed from paganism. Christianity has nothing original in it. The writer of John was merely borrowing concepts from the philosophies of Plato & Neo-Platonism which were circulating around at the time the gospels were written (also in Greek). Just because something sounds poetic doesn't make it true."

A comment by myself using my Green Group account: 

Magnolia Lane says: "+Sonof John Wow, I don't like that - you are projecting your own thoughts and mind unto another there. YOU feel angry? When you tell another they are angry you project from your own imagination of that person being angry, you see. That is EGO. You don't know or have any idea what another is FEELING. You only can see that persons words. If that person writes angry things, that are definitly angry, you might think the person is angry. You will never know for sure, but you might believe so. Everyone disagreeing with you are not angry with you. I am not angry with you, right now. I just wanted to add my thoughts about projections as that is what people do all the time. The best way to make somebody angry with you is to claim they are angry with you, when they speak their mind. It's cause people don't like to be blamed unfairly, and there comes anger from unfairness. So the best way to provoke an oponent, so you don't have to argue with FACTS, is to accuse them of anger or other negative traits."


This reaper guy sits in judgement, without knowing anything about the others true hearts and deeds in life. Those who judge, without knowing, are unjust and that is to sacrifice the innocent too. So here he's guilty of the very same thing he's accusing Wildrhody and all others for:

One J Reaper says: "+Wildrhody all of you speak nonsense. this video is true... but yes a bit twisted and one eyed. the kings of this world sit on the throne of death. to sit on the throne of death... you must make a sacrifice of an innocent person and pass him to death. this whole system is built on those sacrifices and betrayals. its all about coming first and defeating your apponent, in a kind of ritual of death. thats why many that have betrayed me in life got rewarded with material things ect. and i was left to forgive their transgressions. they go down and i go up. where you have it twisted is because you think you go up and we go down. when you die you go to death as thats your God." 

One J Reaper says: "so death rules this 7 year cycle... we must get to the last day of the 7 year cycle to get through the door of life. the white dot on a blacksided yin yang. we know we have to be sacrificed... we are the minotaur in the labyrinth. you have to unrighteously condemn and we have to forgive. you cant say Jesus is a liar... and then when people use the words of Jesus then refute them saying Jesus never wrote a thing. thats underhand tactics right there. no one is 100% correct... to think so is being a fool." 

"i've not come here to unrighteously back up people in God or unrighteously attack people who is against. i've come to show all your misunderstandings. you all misunderstand we are locked in the cage of death. and the only way out is death... your correct... a sacrifice must be made... but that sacrifice goes to life to rule you lot who are death. then you become the enslaved by the HOLYSPIRIT. just to shed wisdom to you all seeing as this is supposed to be the house of wisdom... the enslaved always become the enslavers. the geeks always end up ruling the cool people, the black slaves arose to rule America in government and entertainment......." 


Reapers comment continues. He seems to think that punishing people unfairly is a good thing, and that those hurt will rise to rule over those doing the hurting. This line of thinking will make evil acceptable, and it will guilt trip the abused as they once were abusers. In my knowledge this is falsehood, truth mixed with lies and turned up-side-down. His writings are very confusing, but I will post it as it might have some worth in it:

One J Reaper says: "Michael Jackson was beat by his dad to dance... then he became king of pop ect. so the ones used for the sacrifice to your God of death unrighteously, then become the rulers of the ones who sacrificed them. there is the kingdom of light and darkness... we are locked in the kingdom of darkness till the 7 year cycle is up,and the doorway of life is revealed to cross over to that kingdom. until then the kings and rulers have to sacrifice to their God death, as your all indebted to him for keeping you on the throne of death. there is not just one king....yes the poor person is king/queen as well... they are king of spiritual understanding... and rich they are. the richer they are the richer they will get,and the money they havnt got , even that will be taken from them. same is with rich people... they will get richer... but even the spiritual understanding they lack even that will be taken from them."

"the stories are the same everywhere cause all was told about how life works from the very beginning of Adam and Eve and that God would send a savoiur. all the other stories are just rehashed and twisted over and over again. so thats where all the simalarities come from. and did you all know that time travel is possible? infact everytime some goes up into a rocket into space they have already gone into the future by seconds. this war will not end on this linear plane. it rages on throughout all time and eternity. thats why you take a look up in the sky and you see at night the riegn of darkness over takes the riegn of light... thats this 7 thousand cycle we are in. but when it comes day time then the light will dominate the darkness. 6 add 6 is 12... then two days rest in each cycle is 14... 14 is ovulation day of the womans fertile eggs averagly speaking. the day of rest is the spiritual realms. that which is beyond time."


Here's the explaination that Reaper gives to his thoughts about our reality. What still strikes me is how he uses "WE" like he belongs to some specially select group of choosen ones, and then all the rest are the traitors and betrayers:

One J Reaper says: "so it goes like this....... life death 7 thousand years to create earth....1/23456/7 - 1/23456/7.....and 7 thousand years in the fall.this is where we are. flood by fire by water one is kingdom of life and the other is the kingdom of death. we are in the kingdom of death. we are coming up to the 6 thousandth year. 2 thousand years after the death of Christ. its the split of the human race. those who want to stay with death, and those who want to go to the kingdom of life. sadly a sacrifice has to be made. you all have to betray us sadly. you need us to get to the next cycle and we need you. just as judas was the black dot in Jesus, and Jesus was the white dot in judas. the yin yang. up above in my little diagram shows how its impossible to be good in the kingdom of death. thats why Jesus spoke in parables. he was speaking the truth in bullshit... you cant do it any other way. woman are the whores in this 7 year cycle... and men are the fools and theifs."

One J Reaper says: "the white dot is sacrificed always in this kingdom... cause you all have to make it full darkness. if your the only ones left at the end... its because your death and he is your god and you are one... with a little g. so go on judas's get your blood sacrifices and remove those whit dots from your kingdom so you can merge with your Artificial life of robotic technology... as your scientists are sooo excited about. and thats happening soon they say... congrats... your going to be lifeless robots if you dont change your ways. change your ways and your thinking... cause your all on the kingdom of death thats why you cant find God. but that faint voice of forgiveness and sacrifice is God guiding you back to him to escape this dark reality. the door way will be opened soon. i'll be doing a video about soon. keep an eye out."

I make a reply to this Reaper dude, but don't try to confront him in any way:

Magnolia Lane says: "+jreaper5000000 I had a dream this morning about a stairway up to another place, where people who "died" here went. I saw my granny and she was walking to the stairs. She's dead since the 80's. Before I saw the stairs I had a phone call from my dad - he died 2 yrs ago. When I'd climbed the stairs I came to a world like this, but cleaner, newer, fresher. There was no stench of death and decay. All was new, but also very much the same. I have too felt betrayal from those who put material values before relationships, and they project all ill they do onto the one they lie about. Those acting honorable are punished and those lying are promoted. The truthful child is beaten and the liar is rewarded. Will watch your new video."


Truthiracy3 says: "+dasimsim Go look up EL (God) and then scroll down to Ugarit (Canaan Phoenicia) look for the line that reads that EL was " ‘abū ‘adami ("father of man")." Peace!"

A born-again dude wants to add his imagination to the pot:

Derek Nelson says: "+Truthiracy3 You say you believe in the real God. Is he in the bible at all, or any other scripture? Edit: I ask because I would like to hear of this real God you believe in, however it would be a shame that all you have to reference for him is your imagination."

KingEWill85 says: "+Wildrhody Get Em!! Some sheeple will never accept the truth they've secretly known all along. Question Everything! Great Video +Truthiracy3"

Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson Who do you suppose gave you your imagination? I would guess, someone who also had one, and probably passed it onto you. It's a pity not to use it. +KingEWill85 Thank you:) And you're so right!"

The newborn Derek replies and of course he uses his imagination: 

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody Do you believe in the real God like Truthiracy says he does too? Could you give a reference please as to whom that is? You'd think asking a simple question in a house of wisdom there would be wise people who could give a simple answer.. Because without that, it doesn't take much imagination to know that there is no debate here."

Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson I believe in an omnipotent, unexplainable, ever-present, all-encompassing Creator, of which cannot be explained, beyond my mere perception, and is certainly not contained in the Bible. Imho, the Bible is a trap, in which many people have "fallen" for."

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody I myself didn't believe the bible years ago. It wasn't until I was brokenhearted, weary of this world, and ready to die, that I did a solemn request to God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive my transgressions. I found out by the holy spirit that entered my heart, that he is the very omnipotent, ever-present, all-encompassing Creator of all. The bible should be thought more of as Bye-Bull. As in saying Bye to the beastly nature of man if you are ready. Those who aren't, are programmed merely to think it's bullpoop."


My first reply to Derek is done in friendliness, since he did admit to being possessed by a spirit, who told him things that he took for granted without any questioning:

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson Very typical story of how the "holy spirit" finds a person. When we are heartbroken we ask for help and often we get it. You say a spirit ENTERED you? And after that you are different, feel better? Well, atleast it seem like the union between you two have helped you to feel better, but that's what spirits do. They are all around us, and some are pretty powerful beings who can help us or use us. That is however not how the true creator operates as you are from the start a little spark origininating from the ONE so why would this creator need to enter you? That is already you don't need to enter, but you might had needed some more source energy to survive and keep going. That has happened to me, who do remember leaving source before getting born, and entering into this shithole of heartbreaks and bickering through the vortex, looking upon all of creation from a far away place in the universe. And before entering down here, I was definitely omnipotent and ever lasting, and a part of the source, and I am now a stupid human being, a mere spark of what I really am. Keep safe and take care!"

Derek however am sure that the spirit the entered inside him is the only true God, the Creator of all. He rather believes the spirit possessing him and has let himself be lured over to be used by another entity, pretending to be the main Creator of everything. We are all sparks here and to evolve we need to connect to source, using our own sparks, and remember who we truly are. If we are weak we'll be possessed by spirits, who will claim to be God, Jesus or whatever, and will show us wonders beyond our imagination. Riches, peace of mind and a fortunate life will come from this union. It's very luring and appealing, so I understand that Derek choose this easy way out. It's easy to choose peace of mind, when you've had a shitty life here in Purgatory. It's during the hard times our souls are tested, and only the most strong can stand up against the easy ways out of the pain: 

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane That is exactly how the true Creator operates. The only way to save your soul is through Jesus Christ. Otherwise you can trust the flickering spark within you, will go out forever."

I tried again to reach out to spirit possessed Derek, but of course it's futile, since everyone under the spell of a matrix-guardian spirit will not hear anything beyond what is allowed to be known here. Any speach about the great beyond is forbidden, as within that knowledge lies the key to open up to a much greater reality. It's the key to our prison door, and those spirits are feeding of us with living souls, as they themselves lost their connections long ago. To be in connection you have to go back home now and then, and not stick in the program for eons upon eons. So here is my reply:

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson No, I told you that I am a spark of "the source" and - of course - that is eternal and cannot go out. I told you that I know that cause I remember coming from "source" before I entered into this place and that I was all that is and knew everything when I was part of "the source". I met no imaginary person called Jesus Christ, cause that is a fabrication created by this realm to fool the souls to follow him back to the re-cycling station instead of going home to "source" when you leave this body again. I told you there are many spirits and that they do know how to use those opening up to them, to enter their bodies and take over their minds. And they know how to make you believe you are being saved and all the other stuff."

"It's a very good program and it's been running for a very long "time". Most of you are stuck here and don't know how to leave. When you die, Derek, I'm sure that you will meet "Jesus" and he will bring you back to the "home" of the re-cycling station. And you will have a choice to get a new body or to stay in spirit form. Either way you will not merge with "source" again that way. It's your choice either way, but you will be pushed to do as the program want you to do, as they need your source energy to keep it going. They want us new ones - the same as ancient souls - to enter and lure us to stay too. Source is infinite and can send souls here for eternity if it liked to. I will however try and find the red vortex tunnel and go back when I die. But I hope you will be fine either way, as there is no judgement in wanting to stay in the program. It's a big program and it is "fun" for those who likes to play."


Also this is totally beyond Derek. The blue and red tunnel is all physics on a much higher level then most little boys ever ponder about. In the spirit possessed mind the program says that there is a white tunnel to God, and the red tunnel is to the Devil. Isn't Derek cute in his little believes? Here is his reply to my long and very well said comment, if I may say so myself: 

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane I know what spirit you and several others here are of. 1 John 4:3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 2 John 1:7 For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist. Go to your red vortex tunnel. You are in for a rude surprise."

It's actually very sad to see such evil speach from someone truly believing to be a good person. I said nothing bad about his choice to stay in the matrix and let himself be eaten again and again by these soul-feeders. It's his choice and I don't condemn his for making that choice, and there is both good and bad here. It's not all bad on Earth, is it? No, they've made sure they entertain their prisoners properly and they brainwash them good too. However, those running the matrix do not approve of those breaking their codes, knowing the truth about how it operates. We are not supposed to know about the blue tunnel or the great beyond. That's why everyone in know been prosecuted and killed for thousands of years:

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson No, Derek. You don't know who I am as you are not the Creator of everything. You don't remember how you came here, do you? Tell me what you remember of the Creator. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is cause you and I and everyone are programmed to forget all of our passed lives and all that happened before we enter into our bodies before we are downloaded. This deletion often don't happen until you are in your early childhood. I was in the know I would be erased at the age of five, so to not forget how I came here from the origin of all souls I had to put aside my memory in a special place, like a memory card, a "post card" of what happened. It is only a short clip, but that was all I at the age of five felt was important to save, so I saved it for the future."


I continue my comment to Derek, where he has called me and many others anti-christ, just for not letting us be possessed by the demon calling himself Jesus Christ here on Earth:

Magnolia Lane says: "I also knew that most people on this planet, in this world, are insane, and that anyone speaking the truth will be prosecuted and put in mental intitutions or worse. All that I knew when I was five years old. So I knew I had to keep my mouth shut, until the time was here to speak. It is now. I told my mother at the age of two that we come from the Heavenly Realms through the Gate way of the mothers womb. Cause at that time I remembered it clearly. Many little ones are intune with the source and know hence they came. We are all of spirit, dear Derek, and the one who's talking through you in your last comment is the one who entered you and that spirit want you to be very affraid of the truth. Go and be not affraid, you will be ok in the end. It's just a very huge program and most of the souls here are in for a very long ride. You will follow your "guides" and do as you're told for many lives to come. It will be great fun for you."

The rulers like people who buy their version of God and the Creator. Remember that Derek himself admitted to be possessed by a spirit, the spirit then told him that it was the Creator, so therefore Derek thinks he met the true Creator. What a fool he is, so arrogant and what a bully. I told him he does not know me, and I've said to him some of what I know about our reality. There was nothing personal in that, and no judgement. He however is sitting like a God judging me with false righteousness. He's admitted to having lived a sinful life before being saved by the spirit. So why am I the evil one here? He has like a sociopath re-invented himself and does now believe he's better then others. His last comment above was a typical malignant reply:

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane No, that was just me talking in my last comment. Also, I remember more of the creator than you do. And I do know that you exalt yourself over God at every opportunity. You do not fear him, which is unfortunate, because you should."


Derek says that he remembers more of the creator then I do, which I time and again informed him he knows nothing about, since he's not me. This is malignant reasoning since it's a lie as Derek has no clue what is inside my head and he's making up shit. He's imagining that he's spoken to the Creator, since a spirit possessed him and told him so. Now he's full of a malignant EGO pretending he knows what's inside others. This is what ailes this world. With people like Derek there is no future for mankind. Such people will continue to kill and murder the innocent. Here is another reply to Derek:

Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson Do you fear Him, b/c uppercased corporate LORD GOVERNMENT told you to, in their vampire energy sucking, blood sacrificing black cube book? I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that's the way it is!! For goodness sakes.... the word Bible contains the words Bib, Bile and Lie. I'm pretty sure the True Creator Source could have come up with a much better title, but people are too dumbed and beaten down into fear, to stand up against the real evil! Do you not see past history, showing the cruelty of governments, in order to force the people to follow certain religious beliefs? One is called the Inquisition. Why was it so important to them? They tortured and murdered many, b/c of their maniacal needs! Do you not read the stories in the Bible, about murdering all the men, women, and children, or even keeping 32,000 virgins alive, to be divided up for themselves? (Numbers 31). Read this as out right murder and pedophilia, just as "THEY" are doing today."

"This NOT-so-omnipotent "LORD" couldn't even tell the difference between the Israelites and the Egyptians, so he had them mark BLOOD over their doors, so he'd pass over them, while killing all the innocent Egyptian firstborn. He had them drip blood on the people and on his altars, and he also LOVED the aroma of his sacrificial burning animal fat! OMG! It doesn't get more obvious and evil, than just what I mentioned here, and there's so much more. You, my friend, are under a SPELL! Why do you suppose they call it SPELLING and CURS(e)IVE writing? He-Brew Her-Web...the Coven-ant Web. Do you see it? One word can use the symbolic letters in a different arrangement, and then the spell (spelling) is broken. Here's some others, keeping in mind, they love their SPELL games!"


This very fascinating and highly knowledgable respons contintues:

Wildrhody says: "Gen 23 is all about Abraham buying a parcel of land for a "buryingplace." Buryingplace = Buying Parcel. Acts 16:14. The LORD opened the HEART of a woman in the city of THYATIRA. Thyatira = Thy Atria (upper chambers of the heart). Jesus said he would make them "fishers" of men. Fishers = His Serf (serf is a person in a condition of servitude; slave). Jerusalem = James Rule (think King James Bible). Acts 13:6 and 8. A Jewish sorcerer is called by two names... Barjesus and Elymas. First, Bar means "son" as in Bar Mitzvah. Think about that. Barjesus Elymas = Jerusalem Abyss. Jesus Christ = Jurist Chess (the game they love...see the masonic checkerboard floor). The Jesuits are from the Tribe of Asher. See Numbers 26:44 and Gen 49. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, +Magnolia Lane has it precisely right. They are not psychopaths, but rather cycle-paths, and they need your energy to keep coming back. It's what gives them their power! The power of the Beast, who btw IS Yahweh, or Jehovah, or whatever they call him. And, if you don't believe Yahweh is the Beast, then read Hosea 13 and Revelation 13."

Derek replies a couple of times, and pretends that he knows what's in people's hearts, hence making out that he's a righteous judge. Sweet logic by a malignant personality, if you ask me:

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody You didn't notice that (Barjeus) or Elymas was full of deceit and mischief, and tried to withstand the word of God? How are you different? You'd rather get caught up in the spelling of names or words, rather gauging people by their intent? That's not being blunt or precise. That's being dull and obtuse."

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody Also, no, I don't fear God because any government told me to. And I'm under no spell of written language when with God I can read a person's heart instead. Remember what I told you? I used to not believe the bible. But in turning to him in faith, I can see clearly. Psalm 40:6 In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted, but you have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering you have not required. Psalm 51:16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering."


Wildrhody tries again to make Derek reply, by making it really simple for him:

Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson I'll ask one simple question, for starters. So, why do you fear God?"

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody If you have a child that you love with all your heart and all your soul, it does that child well that they know they should fear losing your love, if they throw it away."

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody And the only reason to be worried about spells or curses, is if a person is doing something they shouldn't be doing anyway. Proverbs 26:2 Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse will not land on its intended victim."

Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson Your answer of fear is very good and logical, and I concur. What my fear is, however, is giving my love, respect, honor, and praise to the wrong God, and that's exactly how I feel about the Bible, just as I have stated. I too have had profound spiritual experiences, ones that didn't involve the Bible or religion. These connections left me with no doubt of a Supreme Creator. I just happen to think the one of the Bible is not Him. Am I afraid to believe that way? Absolutely not! My favorite quote, which helped me along the way, of prayerfully seeking truth about the Bible was... "For what is greater blasphemy than to ascribe the wickedness of man to the orders of the Almighty." ~Thomas Paine That came about when I was in disbelief at what I was reading in the Bible, b/c when I first started, I thought I was reading a Satanic cult book. So, I guess, each must find their own way. My way is different than yours...."

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody The only Supreme creator I believe in, has a way of making enemies into friends if they are actually pursuing him in truth. Think of it this way, it says in Genesis 9:6 ( Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed, For in the image of God He made man.) ~ Even God makes himself subject to his word. Guess what? He kept his word in Jesus Christ. Just like Eve existed in Adam's flesh before God made them two, by Adam's rib, it's the same concept with God and Jesus, they are of the same spiritual substance. And as Jesus Christ's blood was spilled as part of a willing sacrifice to fulfill God's word in scripture; It was also done to show he is innocent, and blameless in regard to himself in the old testament."


This discussion goes on for awhile and Derek seems to lean alot on scriptures, which is old writings by man. It need not be false, but it is still not divine, like he believes:

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody Also just like it takes actual faith in God to believe in him, he did the same thing with Jesus Christ. As in if there were documented proof of his walking on earth, what faith would it take to believe in him? We can't even prove unequivocally what ancestors were ours 1,000 years ago. We can guesstimate, but prove? Nah."

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody Though I don't doubt there are Satanic cults who probably read from the bible ( though not in truth) and do rituals to sacrifice people, they definitely don't listen to Jesus when he says " Do not kill." I mean, that's transparently clear."

Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson First off, Gen 1 and 2 have two different Creation accounts, which are not in the same chronological order. In Gen 1, God is referred to as Elohim, and in Gen 2, in steps LORD Yahweh, messing with the rib or "Rib"onucleic Acid, the messenger of DNA...just as "they" do today. Second, gold's location is given in Gen 2, before Eve's creation. Why do you suppose that is? Third, there are many scriptures that could be read as prophetic, but have you actually seen the ancient documents, which prove this? For example, "they" could have easily written in something about a man, who would be born from a virgin, in the OT, and then wrote it in, as happening, in the NT. Of course prophecy was fulfilled, b/c they wrote the SCRIPT(ures) to be that way. Don't you see?"

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody When you start doing research without using the notion of "they", as in stop thinking people have more power than God does, and the word truth will have new meaning for you."

Derek Nelson says: "+Wildrhody Or, we could play with that notion a bit on the opposite side of the coin. Have you ever considered that "they" want you to think it's been manipulated? To immerse so many lies around the truth that you'll just think "they" are giving you yet another lie? See what I mean?"


Wildrhody says: "+Derek Nelson "They," by no means, have more power than the Creator, but they do have the power to control mankind, using us, to do it, which btw, is what they ARE doing. Just look around you, and see that nothing has changed, with all these supposed "godly" religions. Murder, rape, incest, plundering, pillaging, blood sacrificing, deceiving, etc, still go on, "unto this day." Why is that? It's b/c most people have been conditioned to think evil is good. I hear Christians repeatedly saying, just wipe the Palestinians off the map, or kill all the Muslims, when in fact, their own Bible states they are the SYNAGOGUE of Satan... not Mosque or Church. Now, whether or not you believe in the unscrambling of symbolic letters in words, as having any underlying meaning, I know different, b/c I've been guided through my god-gifted DNA, to do so, which I won't get into, for now. I have absolutely no doubt of these revelations. So, with that said, I will show you something else."

"Satan is first mentioned in 1 Chron. 21, which is the 359th chapter of the Bible. The word Satan, in Hebrew is Shtn, and in Hebraic Gematria, this name has a numerical value of 359. (Shin = 300; Tet = 9; Nun = 50). Satan is also anagram for Santa, and Christmas Day is celebrated on the 359th day of the year. (Do the math, on all counts). Then, think about this. You have a man who dresses up as Santa (Satan), wearing a red suit, bouncing little kids up and down on his lap, granting them their material wishes. Not only does this represent a ritualistic spiritual form of pedophilia, unsuspectingly so, on many innocent men, who take on this role, but also it focuses us on material crap. So, this is not meant to be crude, but must be shown. Keep in mind materialism and male pedos. Christmas = Crams Shit. Not only that... Thessalonians = Holiness Satan."

"Like I believe I mentioned above, in Job 1:8, it is Yahweh who brought Job, to Satan's attention, making Satan Yahweh's puppet. Further, Yahweh stated that Job feared God. He didn't say Job feared "ME," which proves he is not the Almighty Creator. Further, this is what is said... Hosea 13:4 ...Yet I am the Lord thy God from the land of Egypt, and thou shalt know no god but me: for there is NO SAVIOR BESIDE ME. ...BESIDE meaning no one standing at his right hand side. Hosea 13 goes onto to describe this lord as the beast of Rev 13 ...the lion, the bear, and the leopard. So, in a nutshell, b/c "they" don't want to get their own hands dirty, with Karmic debt, reap-what-you-sow, or Universal Law, they use US, the duped people, as their satanic puppets, to carry out their evil deeds."


Wildrhody says: "I will leave you with this thought... 1 Cor 15:45 ...And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. Living Soul = Gull Vision (gull means duped; deceived). Quickening Spirit = Enquiring Skeptic. ...with the latter being what I have become, and only b/c I've been guided all along the way, to discover all of this, through much prayer, and humility. I have NO fear of my Heavenly Creator, but I do have much respect and love, just as my earthly father would have been endeared to have. But, respect is earned, no matter who, and once I figured out, that my Creator was not the biblical one, I then became free of those demons."

A trademark of a narcissist is the sinful lifestyle, the re-inventing of a new personality, being forgiven for all sins by God, being choosen by God, and also to use very few words, when many should had been needed to evolve the issue and get clarity of thought. Here Derek reply with simple insults, clearly showing he's not understood one word of the said above:

Derek Nelson say: "+Wildrhody "They" have power only to deceive those who don't believe in Jesus Christ, or those who honor him with their lips, but their hearts are far away from him. Also, "they" don't believe in Jesus Christ, and you don't either, so how then are you free from "they"? Indeed, you do exactly what "they" want." 

Here I reply to Derek's projections again, and insults, as he seems unable to talk with grown ups and only can resort to his childish claims of having dated God, so if others don't believe him we should all be exterminated for being sinner? Sweet, caring Derek:

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson Again: You don't know anything about me. How you get to your conclusions of what I wrote shows me that the spirit you are carrying is not a wellmeaning spirit. Your comment was clearly written with the intent of being insulting. I only wanted to share the little I know, and you answer with insults. As you are so far beyond me in your experiences with source (not any of the gods of this matrix, as source don't need to be loved or worshiped) - please tell me how you remember source when you where there before you where born? You just bragged, but never told me anything."

Magnolia Lane says: "I'm very curious of what others have experienced and I have been looking a very long time for people who have had some similar experiences. If you were not lying I would be very excited to hear about how you felt when you went through the blue vortex? How did you feel when still in the source? If you can speak about it from your own memory and please please not use quotes from others or trying to insult me. I have in my recalling of my memory not included any "visions" or "imaginations" I have had after I came to this world of illusions and lies. If that is against your "god" that says more about whom that "god" is then about who I am. I speak only my truth."

Below Derek keeps explaining what ticked him off in what I'd said far above. Here is his interpretation of what I said about his idol - "you called him imaginary". Remember that this is what I really said: "I told you that I know that cause I remember coming from "source" before I entered into this place and that I was all that is and knew everything when I was part of "the source". I met no imaginary person called Jesus Christ, cause that is a fabrication created by this realm to fool the souls to follow him back to the re-cycling station instead of going home to "source" when you leave this body again." 

Yes, HERE ON EARTH Jesus Christ exists as a fabrication, like all religions are fabrications. Actually, all here is fabricated from imagination and the source of all this creativity is the Source, the Creator. I understand that the intelligence disordered might lack the ability to understand the difference between what I actually said, and Derek's interpretation. He does not seem to understand that Source is beyond Earth, not here atall but outside of this matrix, so in his puny mind there is no difference. To him "imaginary" and "fabricated" seem to be the same thing too, but it's not. Like I said, all here are fabricated, and it comes from imagination. 

At Source I saw nothing, blackness, since my memory starts when I decends into the blue tunnel, so I had no time seeing behind my back what was there. I've already said that to Derek, more or less, as I'd explained it was a short postcard of a memory. In my world I've been very tolerant and kind to this insulting and rude young man. He's sending off the same energy some narcissists that I know in real life do, which is why I write this piece, as I believe he was born again, to cleans himself from past actions, just like malignant people do. 


Malignant people also like to portrait themselves as good people with special abilities, saints and heroes. But lies about others, like Derek does when he claims I've said that about "mere opinions". So untrue, as I never mentioned it. But really, all Derek is in my eyes is a nasty bully, just another dear, re-formed sinner:

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane I gave an honest testimony of Jesus Christ without the use of the bible, and you called him imaginary. You threw the first stone. So I quoted scripture for you. Which you call mere 'opinions'. The real Truth hurts your love of lies when you hear it. You are empty as the void 'your source' that you came from."

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson Again Derek you resort to insults and claiming that I have said things I have never said. The source is defamed as "the void" by the black magicians ruling this world. It's defamed this way by all those rather ruling in hell then serving in heaven. (Though there is no "serving" going on there - in source - as we are all the same - and it's all true love greater then anything here on earth.)"

Derek behaves even more typical of a narcissist in this next reply. It's clear that Derek has NEVER been to Source from his reactions. Derek tries to distract from his own inability to reply to my question about his experience with the Creator:

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane (Magnolia Lane, August 24th, 2014. "I met no imaginary person called Jesus Christ.") - You said it alright. Again you have lied. You insult yourself far more than I ever could."

Magnolia Lane says: "By the way I should give a warning. I have had a deeply christian brother who tried to "covert" me for many many years, as he was so convinced the visions he'd had was due to a religion. Now he knows what I've been talking about is closer to the truth then the delusions the church tried to convince him of. He found his way and left those delusions behind him. There is no names either beyond this place - outside this program. Names are spells put upon things here." 


My reply to all on the thread continues, as I feel it's useless to try and explain all this to Derek alone, which I also explain in my reply to him:

Magnolia Lane says: "We are ment to worship deities, names, pictures - whatever that makes us give up our source energy to those who wish to rule us as they don't want to go back to source and loose their powers here. They are sneaky buggers, but many of them have already left this place. Their time is slowly running out. Time is just a thing of this reality - time is only there to make it simple as everyone here is a simpleton. A speck of their true selves who've forgotten who they really are, which is what is the sad thing for me to see. The nasty lies put out against each other as nobody remembers who we all are. The false projections of words upon others never spoken. All that is evil. And so many lost souls do that now and it saddens me."

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson Sorry, but I didn't meet any imaginary person called Jesus Christ in the source. I truly didn't. How is that a lie - when I didn't? Go and fight with some other children, Derek. I have nothing more to say to you. I never said it was THAT you had wrong - as I clearly think your "Jesus Christ" is some spirit that has possessed you and also said so in another comment. I said what I said - that I never met this character claiming to be some "Jesus Christ". The imagination is the claim, not the spirit."

Derek is using meaningless insults, projecting unto me his own agressions. Asking a question is totally not "fighting". This is how narcissists always turn the table so you can never get your answer. They attack you, so you end up defending against all their made up shit, instead of focusing on the question you want them to answer. Maybe his chat with the Creator was all a lie. Or I'm right that he was possessed by a spirit pretending to be the one and only Creator of Everything. Not even the God-heads are the Creator, mind you, and not even them are allowed to interfere with humans on a personal level as that would be cheating:

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane Jesus Christ is God in human form. He is the original creator of everyone, and everything. He existed when nothing else existed, and he is Truth. You think he's imaginary, because you simply don't know God. So anyway, apparently you didn't notice that you re-started this conversation in fight mode; But if you want to keep telling fantasy stories, where you have no testimony in any spiritual writ of it in all of human history, go ahead.. I'm sure you could find other venues that would love to hear your works of fiction. Spare me though please, I can't debate with baseless nonsense. Thanks."


Let me remind you about the comment he concludes are in fight mood, but first lets remember how rude and hurtful his two last comments TO ME was: "I know what spirit you and several others here are of. 1 John 4:3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist..." Notice that he calls me an anti-christ, so yes I am right that through him speaks an evil demon, not the true living soul of a good human being. The words he speaks are filled with vile hate, and I did warn him for listening to spirits that enters into his body and likes to take over his mind. It was a friendly, well-meaning warning, and I'm met with rudness and hatefullness. What a little evil bugger. Also the next is extremely evil: "No, that was just me talking in my last comment. Also, I remember more of the creator than you do. And I do know that you exalt yourself over God at every opportunity. You do not fear him, which is unfortunate, because you should." 

So is there wonder I'm not happy by such hateful responses to my consern for him, as he's so obiously possessed by an evil, hater of a demon? I'd say he should thank me for the warning and stop insulting me like a little bully at the school yard. I would never want to have anything to do with his hateful "god", who takes over people and lie to them, spreads fear and hate among people, creates war and destruction, death, suffering and pain so him and his buddies can live forever off this planet of fools. Here is my in fight mood response, that little Derek is totally innocent of creating. It's called SELF DEFENCE and something we all have a divine right to do, when under attack from bullies and smearing liars: "Again: You don't know anything about me. How you get to your conclusions of what I wrote shows me that the spirit you are carrying is not a wellmeaning spirit. Your comment was clearly written with the intent of being insulting. I only wanted to share the little I know, and you answer with insults. As you are so far beyond me in your experiences with source (not any of the gods of this matrix, as source don't need to be loved or worshiped) - please tell me how you remember source when you where there before you where born? You just bragged, but never told me anything."

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane This thread is on Truthiracy's own video btw, and he won't debate me either.. Debate requires several honest testimonies of arguments presented. Not things like " John from the Bible is a liar because my tarot cards told me so." I mean, wow.. That's what you sound like too, minus the tarot cards."


Did you notice how he totally deflected my straight forward question with ridicule? A typical narcissistic tactic. All he does here is so sickening narcissistic I hardly can read this shit, but I force myself as he's such a good example. Also, it's so typical that he brags so much and believes he's the righteous one, but has no proof, nothing to tell, just threats and pointless warnings about nice, kind and knowledgable people being anti-christs, while vile, aggressive and stupid people are choosen by God. If that is the Heaven people like that is destined to, I'm happy if I'm not. How boring to have to spend eternity with horrible, nasty narcissists! Since I'm a kindhearted woman I try to laugh off his lies and insults:

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson LOL You are too funny Derek - "Tarot Cards" - really? Are that all you can come up with after YOU refuse to tell me about what YOU experienced when you were HOME - at the SOURCE - the ORIGIN of everything - the CREATOR. You still refuse to debate THAT - YOU REFUSE." 

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane I already told you the fruition of what I experienced. You refused to believe me, and instead railed against my testimony with your imagination that's backed up by nothing, and nobody other than yourself. What you're doing isn't debate, just bitter ignorance."

At this point I feel so overwhelmed by the hate and hostility from this bigott and do not want to keep on trying to make him reveal what happened to him anymore. It's more then clear to me that nothing happened to him. Derek is a judgemental, little minded, hurtful, evil narcissistic, mean and nasty person. No wonder he needed "God" to swipe his plate clean, as he'd confessed to being a very bad person before. Unfortunately - for him - it does not work that way. You must do the work yourself and no spirit can come and absolve you. Those doing that are the tricktsters and they are only fooling people it's as easy as "forgive and forget". Whatever you've done here is still yours as long as you are here. The hurt is still there, as long as you haven't mended it and that takes hard work.


Truly understand that I'm dealing with a biggot, I still want to make it clear that he has never replied to my request to tell me how it was when he met Creator, Source, the origin of Everything, which he claims he's met. It's easy to claim that you know more then another, and I can clearly see the green eyed envy in his replies. Take this line from him - ouzing of envy: "But if you want to keep telling fantasy stories, where you have no testimony in any spiritual writ of it in all of human history, go ahead.. I'm sure you could find other venues that would love to hear your works of fiction. Spare me though please, I can't debate with baseless nonsense." Who else then someone lacking insight in what I'm talking about would even dream up saying something like this about what I just told him? My own experience, no fairytale, no fantasy, my real life memory and funny enough, totally backed up by the oldest and wisest of all knowledge on Earth. So Derek lied again to ridicule me even more, as in his puny mind only knowledge from - mainstream - books are real. Make me laugh. Only a true nobody would claim such nonsense.

Here is again another example of Derek's envy: "I remember more of the creator than you do. And I do know that you exalt yourself over God at every opportunity." Honestly, it rarely becomes more envious then that. Why did he say such a peculiar thing really? I don't have any other explaination then cause he's a narrow minded cruel narcissist out to try and find something that might hurt my feelings, as he can see I'm a kind and sensitive soul, who only wrote to him out of concern for his wellbeing. But he's just another one who has no real knowledge, only programming. There are many of those, billions even, and the powers ruling know how to make such easily envious biggots fight anyone who dares to inform them of the greater reality. That's how they keep us all under lock and key. Thank you, Derek, for aiding our prisoners. Thank you so much for all your hate and insults. Here is my last reply to the biggot:

Magnolia Lane says: "+Derek Nelson No, you never did. You never said one peep about what you SAW and EXPERIENCED when back at SOURCE, HOME in the TRUE heavenly kingdom, the PLEROMA or whatever name we might "make up" for the origin of everything that has no name. You are doing your best to BRAG you know it all, seen it all - but never actually mentioning one little thing for my enjoyment. You are a very bad boy, Derek."


One last time Derek has to try and avoid replying to this question, obviously since he has no clue what I'm talking about:

Derek Nelson says: "+Magnolia Lane I already told you the 'result' of my experience. Jesus Christ is the Truth. You refused to believe me because you don't believe him or anyone else who testifies about him. I could provide details, but they won't help you when you exalt lies over truth. You are not a very good girl, 'Magnolia'."

Notice one thing here, that he only says he could tell me more, but somehow he's sure I would not believe him if he did, so he never does. This is typical of a real liar, since he both projects that I'm a liar, with no proof whatsoever, just that he does not believe my story of how I was downloaded into this matrix from the Source. That is what he does not want to believe, so he's the one refusing to believe, as I from start believed he truly had been possessed by a spirit, claiming itself to be the Creator, just like Derek said. So while I trusted Derek, believed in him on his word of honor, it's him who calls me a liar as he cannot believe such an event to be true, as I just told him. 

Unfortunately for little Derek it is, and as soon as I found out I was not the only one in the know of the Source, the blue vortex tunnel and how souls travel to Earth and our realm, I began talking about it too. I've now been told this is what all Gnostics known for thousands of years and I've also been told that this is one of the biggest secrets in occult societies. What do I know, I'm only a speck of the Creator. But according to Derek I'm soon to expire, while at the same time I'm above the Creator of Everything. He's so confused I pity the boy. 


It's been my experience that most people on this planet will prefer to be told what to believe by someone else. Be it an authority figure or a spirit that comes in the night. Those being narcissists are the worst of all, as they will belittle those of other faiths. They will always detoriate to projections of their own personalities to their poor targets of their abuse, as soon as you have your own experiences and thoughts. They will be so sure that it's their fantasies that are the really real ones, and all others are from the Devil, or from your lower self, or what they make up to feel superior, a teacher or guru you should follow like a mindless hen. 

To share their memories and tell their story with respect to the one they talk to wont happen, when you are not of exact the same faith as them. This I've found in every single faith on this planet. You are all hypocrits, each and every one who belongs to a religion and follow someone elses teachings. Respect might be given to someone following another admitted line of thought, but when you walk your own path, searching for wisdom and understanding, you will be prosecuted by every faith on Earth that our RULERS have given us. 

These guys are in contact with spirits, and these spirits do work for these agendas. It's a long known secret by those on the inside, but the minions, the slaves of this Earth are not ment to know this, but that is a reality for those behind the scene. I will however not linger on that issue as I'm just a minion myself, so what deeper secrets do I really know, apart from what I've seen and experienced on my many travels through the realms of this matrix and beyond. Perhaps my theory is right, and perhaps it's like so many have shown me, that the opposite of a blue vortex tunnel is a yellowishred one. If that is so, that is the road back to home. If those wanting us to stay here scared people like Derek it's the road to Hell, the more reason to take that path. 

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry