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All content on this blog is fictional and any resemblance with actual events are purely coincidental. When you choose to read this blog you also agree to not get offended or try and use any content to defame me as a person or anyone connected to me. If you cannot commit to this agreement you are violating the agreement you agreed to by reading this blog. I repeat that by the act of reading this blog you are committing to this agreement of not getting upset or using content in a way that could be considered an act of aggression. If you cannot follow this agreement I urge you to not read this blog.

söndag 26 juli 2015

Narcissism Is Normal


A very rude person wrote this insulting comment to a video made by another person, who were depressed after a very painful breakup from his wife: 
Here's another walking definition of a paranoid disorder. Complicated with depression (firm pessimistic prognosis on psychatriic treatment) and a schizoid affectation. Claims that he was diagnosed with PTSD (F43.1), the cause of trauma being his wife who couldn't do laundry and talked behind his back. Has an idea of having "narcissistic abuse syndrome". Expresses strong negative affect towards his wife. Is reluctant to take antidepressants and anxiolytics.

Some person - probably a male - defended seamingly the videomaker with this comment:
Rebeccas Grave - 20 juli 2015 +drgdrf Narcisssists protect narcissists. Love how you drop the DSM code to show your an authority over him. You are taking ONE thing he said and DELIBERATELY twisting it into something else. Transparent move. (yawn.)

Since I totally - 100% - agreed with this Rebeccas Grave person, I wrote a supportive comment:
Sagoland Poesi - 20 juli 2015 +Rebeccas Grave Totally concure with your estimation. Narcs are lazy buggers and drgdr (= Dude Rejecting Good Dudes Repeatedly, by the way - my psychic mind reading told me so, LOL) has not even grasped that the wife LEFT HIM. And any moron knows that people get depressed after a breakup, a divorce or a loss of a partner in life due to death or other causes. It's NORMAL for real humans to get depressed under those circumstances. The un-normal person here is drgrd who thinks it's weird - un-normal as in childish, infantile, and yes, narcissistic. You should not have to take any drugs due to this kind of depression, but sometimes people feel it helps them, so I'm no judge of that. Unlike drgdr I don't know what I don't know...

To my BIG surprise this person did NOT agree with me, and had to state that to me:
Rebeccas Grave - 20 juli 2015 No. Narcs love their egos and are not lazy in the slightest to go out of their way to keep up appearances. What's he supposed to think about the moon, sun and stars? Dig deep there is a heart down there somewhere.


To this day I don't understand what this person is talking about in that comment. I tried to be open minded, though I felt hostility in the reply, which began with totally dismissing me with "No". This is how my narc FOO speaks when putting you down. Reply with a "no" when you agree with them, then oppose what you did not say. I never said that narcs was too lazy to uphold their apperance, I was talking about their lazyness in GRASPING others situations. To LISTEN to others!

So I try another time to connect - soul to soul - with this person, hoping it's just a minor misunderstanding:
Sagoland Poesi - 20 juli 2015 +Rebeccas Grave ??? I'm sorry, but since I'm not narc enough I am not able to make up I understand what I don't (about the moon, sun, stars and that's there is a heart somewhere). Did not get that at all... ;)
As much as you are right about them being eager to keep their apperance, you are so very wrong about what I talked about.
Aka they are VERY lazy and will NEVER read what you write properly before they use it to their advantage, just like this drgdr did above.
Kind of feel a little sad you did not get my joke, but that's fine. I do have a kind of odd humour, which is not really funny even. :)

Ok, I'm playing it nice here as I don't want to piss off someone for no good reason, like NARCISSISTS so eagerly do, but here is what I get for trying:
Rebeccas Grave - 21 juli 2015 yawn

Did you see that? What the f*ck is that? Honestly it shocked me as I was reaching out, TOTALLY agreeing with this person, so what's the insults for? This is where I start to wonder if I'm speaking to a teenager, as they tend to jump to conclusion, behave "narcish" and then refuse to accept your communication, as it's more fun to hate you, kind of thinking.


I don't want to be judgemental so I give communication on a grown up level another try:
Sagoland Poesi - 21 juli 2015 +Rebeccas Grave ??? I AGREED with you and you replied with words that I did not understand the meaning of. Now you "yawn" in reply? Is it cause I didn't understand? Or is it in reply to my clarification that I ment that narcs are too lazy READING others comments and understanding them, so they PRETEND they understand and project their own selves onto them?
(Narcs get easily bored, wont admit they got something wrong, and then treat the other with "superiority", as if the other one had done something wrong, though they had not.)
IF I'd been narc enough I might had pretended - in a superior way - that I did understand what your reply ment, and then go on and project my own imaginary meaning to what you wrote, as if my interpretation was the true one.
So, IF my intent of being authentic and honest bored you, well that is what it is.
There are a thing I've called Survivor Malignancy. It's very real and it's called something else, but I prefer my own tag on it. It's when people get infected with this nasty virus, this pathology of malice, and see evil in others that is not there.
I want to clarify that my intent had been to agree with you that it was not a truthful representation of the issue dealt with in this video, by that person (drgdrf). I think I was pretty clear, nothing vague, about my respons, but perhaps I was.
Either way, I cannot change others perceptions. I do as good as I can, with my limited understanding and ability to work this language. If that bores you, well, it does.

I do sound a bit pissed, but I have all the right to be. I was kind and supportive to this person and I get rejections and boredom in respons, as I was arguing his/her points, which was not true. I agreed with all he/she said, but tried to make he/she see my points, but was then met with "yawn" and childish rudeness. So yes, I felt confused and somewhat hurt by this mean attitude. I wanted friendship and got a nasty bully instead.

Here is the respons to my other try to reach this person, soul to soul:
Rebeccas Grave - 21 juli 2015 moan


WTF??? "What is freaking WRONG with this person", I'm thinking after this second rejection to communicate like NORMAL people. (Well, I have now realized that this IS NORMAL, and that it's me who's not normal, since I'm not narcissistic enough, but reached out as I always do with an open heart. Bad choice when most people you meet live in HELL - mentally.) So I start to seriously suspect something is not right here, that I might actually be right that this is not a grown up woman, which I'd first believed, but something entirely different. So I ask:
Sagoland Poesi - 21 juli 2015 +Rebeccas Grave What are you? Are you a narcissist??

Either it's a child, a teen or an immature grown up they are all really very narcissistic by nature, so I fit all those possibilities into the last question. Then I go and check out this person and then realize this cannot be a woman at all, and most likely a very young male with those normal narc-traits, which comes with that, as it's rare as heck with an emotionally mature young male. 

So I write this as I now realize I've been making a huge mistake believing it was someone like me on the other side of the communication:
Sagoland Poesi - 21 juli 2015 Never mind "Rebeccas Grave". Saw your account and you are no Rebecca. No wonder you don't make any sense to me. I thought you knew what I was talking about, but you are not into this at all, are you?
Also, both you and this narc dude drgdrf have tons of russian contacts, so one might wonder if you aren't connected somehow. However, I still agree with you that drgdrf acted authoritive to put down the videomaker. The weird reaction that give off "narc-vibes" to me is that despite that support from me you are acting off like a rude teenager with your silly yawns and moans.
I guess that is something this narc-society teaches young people to do, as the social conditioning thru the school system is ment to brainwash people to become narcs, which is the true cause of this epidemic of narcissism.
A danish author/scientist concluded that as many as 70% of danes show signs of narcissism today.


Ok, this was a proper and fair enough reply, I think, as I had indeed been nothing but supportive from beginning to end, and to that been met with opposition, weird replies I did not understand, and boredom. All signs of narcissism, if you wish to know. Yes, it all is. And like I just wrote in that comment above, that is not a rare condition today. Young people are raised to become narcissists and they don't even realize it themselves, when they act out this way as this person does to me.

This person has the clear intention of hurting me through discarding my attempts to communicate with him. Instead of answering truthfully and authentic he mocks me with his non-answers. Of course I don't really get upset, but I do understand the INTENT is to make me feel bad, not worthy of being spoken to. All shit narcissists throw at you to make you feel small and stupid and non-important.

Which is the reason I write this, as this behavior is not healthy one bit. It's not funny and it's most of all very mean, but it is promoted to young people to do this to others, and feel superior when doing it. In there lies the narcissism, whether they like it or not. This is why young people speak this way to their parents, and why this rift between the generations exists today.

First it was the parents belittling us, who now are parents to teenagers, and now my generation is treated like shit by our narcissistic children. Thank god my own children were raised by ME and not society, so none of my own teenagers would ever do this to me. But I know others who do, and not all the parents deserve to be treated this way. Here is the next reply I get - not any different:
Rebeccas Grave - 21 juli 2015 groan

I have just had it now with this childish person so here is my reply:
Sagoland Poesi - 23 juli 2015 +Rebeccas Grave Ok, now we all know that you have the intelligence of an inbred hillbilly pre-teen from my childhood. They could also say "yawn, moan, groan" and that was about it.
Actually, after this childishness it's not even possible you can be an adult. LOL


No change in the next reply, though this time the person says a girl's name, which is really weird:
Rebeccas Grave - 23 juli 2015 joan

It's obvious there is no point in trying to communicate on an intelligent level with this childish person. Well, if he is not a child it's one of the most childish adult people I've ever met on the net. Most I don't agree with are very argumentive, hostile and rude, and want to debate you. But this was the first person I've met I did agree with but who still would treat me rude and like I was a worthless piece of crap, just for their own amuzement. Like he wanted to punish me for replying to him, as if I was not good enough to do such a thing - aka overstepping my boundaries.

All very narcissistic ways of behaving as if you comment on the internet anyone can reply and you whould not behave like some where not worthy to do so. Well, unless of course you are a narcissist, as this is exactly what a narcissist would to - treat you as not worthy of their time and energy. I mentioned that narcissists are lazy and they are also bored with others thinking and opinions and will only care for their own.

I make a joke as I know many pretty girls with that name - Joan:
Sagoland Poesi - 17:53 +Rebeccas Grave Oh, that's a lovely girl. Very nice.

Here are my afterthoughts of this thread, which contains also a warning, as narcissism is not either or, but like a virus sneaks up and takes over when we don't realize it:
It's part of the psychopathic agenda to de-humanize real humans. To ridicule and belittle, not respond with an answer, when asked a question, being derailed, misrepresented. Anyone not trying to understand another, respond as honest as they can, are working this agenda. It's like a mind virus, an infection to the very soul, and you will know them how they respond to you. Most of the times their respons will be a big fat "NO" in reply to your positive support of them. Which is mind blowing in itself, as you expect positive feedback will be appreciated. But not with these "entities", as their intent is not to aid you, but for you to get distraught, and loose power. So they will reply denying something that was not what you said even, as that is a double whammer. 


It never feels good when someone says you are wrong, but most can take that. What people can't take is when something we did NOT say is denied, which is why that is what is done with these virus infected minds. As this respons will come to something you agreed upon it's even a tripple whammer! That is how this virus of the soul works, as it's intention is to cause confusion, harm to a real HUMAN soul. It's called alien by many, or demonic. It does not matter as it's strange, harmful and useless. It's often hiding behind a jester image, but it's only a bully and therefore it will in many instances actually bully only ONE individual while drawing in others to join. 

I cannot say for certainty, but my gut tells me I'm dealing with such a virus here, as it keeps responding, without responding, as if it likes to "play". That is how it normally does things, try to make you have a reaction where you deplete your VALUE, feel belittled, ridiculled by these no responses. This is how GOVERN-MENTS rule us - let us wait and not be heard, misunderstood, reframed. This is fascinating as it's a tactic used to take others powers from them. The ignoring game. It does not want to explain itself, like real humans do, it does not want to argue it's position, or defend itself, all traits you'd see in a human trying to reach some understanding between itself and others somehow. As anyone with the slightest humanity would try to communicate in some meaningful way - either meaningful to them or to the understanding between two people.

After I had posted this intent to write this blog I got a reply from the person in the video, so I have now decided to not post the video and also to make a few more comments about this. He told me that he'd banned the first rude commentator, and that he did not want to get involved. I guess he ment with this weird thread where I tried to make Rebeccas Grave understand that I was agreeing with him. I guess that was what he said. As I've written above narcissism is rampant, and I also want to warn about another item in narcissism. It's selfishness. I'm a typical empath and those are the most easy people to use for emotional backup and they will stick out their heads to take fire and defend anyone being abused. 

As that is how it is alot of narcissists will try to pull your strings to defend them, and I can tell you that you are NEVER defended back if you do that for a narcissist. That's how you know they are one, as they will not try and help you. And alot of people are narcissists today, and many who have been abused by one and are still in deep pain and suffering from their treatment will have empathy suspension and will not feel up to helping others out as they are too busy feeling sorry for themselves. That is part of what I wrote above that I call "Survivor Malignancy".


My question is what does he not want to get involved with? He did ban this drgdrf guy, and both me and this rude person "Rebeccas Grave" agreed that drgdrf was a rude narcissist defender. So what is it that he does "not want to get involved with", I ask myself. I now suspect also the videomaker might think that I am disagreeing with this Rebeccas Grave, when I was AGREEING with him. Geeze. I sometimes feel like killing myself to get out of this HELL. I am being NICE to a person, agreeing with him, and he replies with rejection, as if I had been arguing against him. I was saying one thing, and he opposed me with taking up ANOTHER issue, which I ALSO AGREED upon. What's wrong with people? What the F*CK have I done to these people? 

I seriously regret I even subscribed now. I had a premenition so after I subscribed I did un-subscribe, but then I felt silly and redid the subscription. I think my soul tried to warn me. Not that the videomaker was a bad person, but that he might be attracting bad people to his channel. Childish, silly people, as he used to play video-games and alot of teenagers and children look at such channels. So I was right in my gut feeling that this was not the right place for me. I don't go here to fight with angry teenagers, as I leave them in their rooms to do what they like on the net, while I go and talk to GROWN UP folks who knows about these freaking issues, called narcissism. So I was sticking up for this guy and he now tells me he does not want to get involved when he can see that I'm being bullied by a person on his channel. He just can't be bothered, since he's full of selfpity? Or why? 

Well, good for him and all the zillions I've seen in my life do the same to me. I stick out my neck, take a bullet and then they leave me there to die in my own blood, and can't even try to patch me up with ONE FREAKING nice comment back. I think that's why I felt I should not subscribe, as I don't go well with people too selfabsorbed to even have the slightest care for others feelings, but make it all about themselves. I've said alot of supportive things to him, hopefully something of use, I don't know as I'm such a useless piece of shit I'm sure it was pretty useless. 

I know. I get this way when more then ONE person puts me down. All it takes is ONE bully, then one person who tells me that I'm NOT WORTH ANYTHING. Wham! There goes the trigger again from all my life of being alone. No one who cared. No one who spoke out for me. I used to help my oldest brother EVERY TIME he got bullied. He never ever spoke up for me. Not until now. After so many years he actually, for the first time in my life believes me before my bullies. Despite us being friends for decades all it took was one bad word from the narcissists and he believed them before me. 


The same with my father who died never standing up for me. I still dream of him alot and not long ago I dreamt he was alive again. The other day I dreamt my baby sister, again only 20 years old, came over to the farm father used to live on. She came there as I now OWNED it. She had organized father's second funeral, without telling me that he'd died again, nore about the funeral. She said she'd sent me an email, though she knows that I have her blocked after she's been sending me hate mails full of lies and smear. And she'd sent those mails to laywers and our brothers and all sorts of people, so I've blocked everyone passing on that dreadful shit. 

So I said to her that she should know all of this, that I did not get her emails as she'd not stopped this shit and not said her appologies to me, nore told everyone that what she'd said about me was not true. She then, in this dream mind you so it's not real what I tell you now, said that she'd also put out an invitation to this funeral on Facebook, which again she knows I don't have and that everyone in my family have blocked that piece of lying (non-speakable words here, sorry). But she didn't seem bothered by all of this and only expected me to make the cottage ready so she could stay over the night. 

That part was peculiar as I found out the other day that she'd taken all her stuff out of that cottage two months ago. Of course my husband knew that and most likely my brother did too, but everyone "forgot" to tell me, so I've not been able to go to the farm all summer as I was afraid she'd be there, pissing in the territorium. But apparently she could not wait to get out of there, just like I've said all along. She did never want that cottage and as soon as we offered ALOT of money for her piece of the property she took the bite. However, our narcissistic nasty brother refused to. 

I don't know who's worst of them two - she for being a ruthless liar and manipulating heartless cow, or him for believing all her lies and making up his own lies to make her's more believable, aka aiding her in her lies, while he has no proof what she says is true. He does know it's not, as his other two siblings told him so. I think he's the sickest puppy as he can't accept reality one bit. He could had gotten ALL he wanted if he'd choosen to play along with us two siblings who was NOT LYING, but he choosed to help his lying sister cause "mommy dearest" told him so. 


Most likely his wife told him also to do as his baby sister said, and to screw me over. She's another one I've empathized with and tried to be helpful with, which made her very grateful until she was told to ditch me as I was not worth to befriend. And she complied. Does she think that I have forgotten that? How she told me our friendship was OVER? If she does not understand how such words hurt a friend she must be a very sick puppy aswell. I don't want to hurt her or revenge her, but I don't trust her anymore and I don't believe she has my best interest at hand. I don't think she gives a crap, honestly. I now think nobody of all of these people gives a crap. 

With "all" I did not mean my oldest brother or my husband, whom I both mentioned above. They do understand a little more now how this narcissist-stuff works. To understand and to actually do something about it is however not the same thing, so I don't expect miracles. Everyone loves the narcissists and the bully. The stupid, ugly, boring shit they don't care for. I wish I was a person everyone would love and care for, but I'm not and I used to think it was cause of outside reasons, but I understand now it's cause I'm ugly and boring and that most people fall asleep just watching me from a distance. I'm half joking, but honestly that is true. 

In this world the psychopathic liars are ADORED. And the empathetic people must be really cuties to not bore people to death. If you watch the movies you see them always as dead cute, whether pretty or plain they are so very silly and cute, those empaths. Real empaths are not that way however. In other movies they are made into holier then holy priests in long dresses and so beautiful you can't take your eyes from them. Their voices are soft and they enchant you with their loveliness. However, I doubt such people are empaths, but rather more often luring narcissists who wish to enchant their "prey". 

In real life every empath I've met have been a very ordinary person, not specially beautiful or cute, but just a good person waring their hearts on their sleaves. That is - what you see is what you get. They don't pretend to hide some mysterious treasures, which you need to search for to find. They don't look superior and condensending upon others and they don't try to make themselves into gurus and holier then holy people, but are just ordinary people wanting wellness and fortune to everyone. 


An empath would not even as a child behave in the way I have portraited above. That is, to pretend to not understand, to disagree with another issue then what was at hand, to ignore that this misunderstanding was cleared up and to make rude replies. Not even a child empath could do such a heartless act, as empaths are children of "GOD". I mean the REAL GOD here and not the fake demiurge those idol worshippers calling themselves "possessed by the holy spirit" are worshipping. The spirit who lies and tell them that "Jesus Christ is the real and only god and I am Jesus Christ, worship me and only me" or what crap that spirit tells the people he possesses. As I pointed out in another blog one such person categorily REFUSED to give me any details to anything of what he claimed he'd experienced, just that he was possessed by god/Jesus. 

Who would however behave in this hurtful way is an APATH. That is a person who don't give a crap if they hurt others as all they care about is their own entertainment. But, such a person would defend another, fellow being he sympathizes with, are perhaps friends with. Just like this "Rebeccas Grave" dude did. That would explain why he came to the defense of the videomaker, and why he could care less that I agreed with him, and that he could care even lesser then less about my insight into narcissism, and instead put opinions unto me I'd never expressed. I had NEVER said that narcissists was not eagerly protecting their apperances, or their egos, like this Graves person claimed I'd said. Never. Not true. But an error an apath would do, as such a person is apathetic. That is the first step into narcissism - apathy.

When you are replying to videos where actual survivors from narcissism resides you rarely get this kind of reply. You might however get a reply from the "positive brigade" who believe themselves to be saved by the light of positivity so they are now fierce warriors who now force fed their belief system unto all "non-believers". That is all "negative" people and that is everyone who actually TALKS about their lives and issues they have in their lives. 

The funny thing is that real therapists today - not the kind my ancient mother was, but present day therapists, actually working with people who've suffered abuse or trauma - they say that you should talk about your issues with friends, or write about them in blogs, in the very way I do here. I'm not out to smear this "Rebeccas Graves" person, as he is just normal. Normal half-narcissist, as that IS NORMAL today.


I write to understand when I meet evil why the person is so evil, what is driving them to behave in a way they know will harm another person. That is what my issue with this hellhole is, if you wish to know. I have found out that most people are apaths, and they are creating their own little hell to live in. It might be a clean hell, but still a hell, and it makes them very depressed. Many live almost sterile lives, with all their "stuff" put perfectly in place in their sterile clean homes. And they wonder "why am I depressed?". "I have cleaned and made everything perfect, what do I have to be depressed about?" 

People imagine that such a person can possibly not be depressed, as it's far more likely that someone living in filth are. However, I cannot say that I was more depressed when I was so overwhelmed with both outer and inner health issues that I could not cope with keeping the house clean, that I was more depressed then now. I'd actually say that is not true at all. I feel just as rotten as I usually have done, living among half-souls, with one foot in hell, almost making it to the other side as they refuse to become empaths.

You do know that the only road to paradise, to a whole soul, is to become an empath? I have noticed there is a huge hate campaign going against empaths right now. It might been going on for decades, even centuries, of not millenias, but I only figured it out very recently that it's a war against empaths specifically going on. At this time it's going on at the same time as it's promoting psychopathy as something positive. 

The propaganda says that it's due to the empaths there are wars in this world. Yes, that is how crazy thinking goes. All sane real human beings know that it's the psychopaths using lies and deception that make the war happen. They drag in hords of apaths, who are people who wish to help out their buddies, but don't give a crap about "the others". Empaths feel just as much for the innocent people on the other side of the border, as they do to innocent people here. So where is the logic in the meme that empaths start wars?


In my opinion those promoting this lie, this hate propaganda, are people who coldly use the kind of narcissists we know of whom are raging, and acting out and screaming like little babies when they don't get what they want, and pretend that this is the "over-emotional empaths". Isn't that hilarious! Those are not "empaths". Those are selfish, spoiled babies in grown up bodies. The so called "feelings" those liars talk about are only "me, me, me" feelings. When you push the right buttons on a spoiled narcissist they will DEMAND you to go to war for them. And they will make others war for them, so they can "keep their lifestyle". 

They will send off their willing offspring to die for them, so their narcissistic parents can "keep their remote control, and tv-dinners". No, the empaths are the enemies of these wars, the famine, the death and destruction of this earth. We are the healers and we are the friends of earth and all living things. Therefore we must die, as the alien entity causeing the psychopathy and apathy in people demand their minions to kill us, as we could destroy the psychopaths if we wanted to.

In a blink of an eye, connected with ONE INTENT, we could vanish them from this realm for good. But we don't know that, so we don't. They are afraid we will find out...

Yes, this is the very answer to the question WHY are they trying to shun us, kill us, harm us, insult us, ridicule us, demean us, frame us, put us aside, bully us, and most of all do anything they can to SABOTAGE our lives. They do it cause there is nothing they fear more then all the empaths on this earth to realize their true powers. That is why they keep us down, make us want to kill ourselves (we do know that when we die we'll come home to SOURCE, where all is love so it's a hard choice to stay here in hell). They try to push us to leave as if we realize whom we truly are they are so screwed. The day all empaths stand up and say no more to all the psychopaths of this world is the day they will loose everything. 


The Age of the Bully is then over. It will no longer be "normal" to be a bully anymore. It will be normal to care, to be kind and to be a nice person. That is why they try to make evil fun, and nice boring. That is another lie, as evil is STRESSFUL and it's forgetful as trauma causes disassociation and loss of memory.

Good times are relaxing and your memory is restored, you will in a good life remember EVERYTHING. In a stressful life you will suffer gaps of no memory, loss of time itself. So where is the fun in that? Not knowing your own life - is that "fun"? I feel this is an easy choice, but it's YOUR CHOICE. Be an apath, or an empath. Only an apath can make that choice. It's too late for someone who's already gone over "to the Dark Side", so to speak. 

Enough preaching, since I know nobody ever never have listened to me. I did my best and to be honest I didn't think life in HELL would be this hard, but it is. I only hope that others will "get it", without my words of wisdom, as I am not good at making others hear what I say, whom not already know what I am saying.

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry


söndag 12 juli 2015

The Final Grand Trick

Re-blogged from: http://www.zengardner.com/final-grand-trick/

This is actually written by Greg Calise, now 2015-07-11, and perhaps it's not okey to re-post it, but I'll do it anyways. Go to the link above to read all of it, as I will not post all images and comments, and whatever found there. I will only post this as it's kind of fitting in with my own knowledge, I had when I came to this "Matrix". Nothing I've learnt HERE, but something I REMEMBER. However, I don't really get all of what I remember, and there are not much to go after, so I've had to piece little pieces of puzzle together and hope I've gotten it right. One thing I've always known, from early childhood, was that something was not right with Church and what they taught. There were something missing in it, something vital left out and it felt like someone was trying to make me give up my own thinking, myself, whenever I listened to that stuff. That is also the reason I wrote that other post about "Spirit Possession", as I do understand about Shadow People, spirits without bodies, and other manifestations that are not 100% in our seeing range. They are slightly out of sight, but that does not mean that they cannot see us. It only means that we barely or never can see them! 

Here is the article I snatched by Greg Calise - riverbankoftruth.com - make of it what you want, but there are a few things I felt was very important in there as I do know that is for sure true. This is a MATRIX, and it's a very big one as any "program" can be as vast and huge as the makers of it want it to be. Just play around in one of those Sims-games and you see what I mean. Now here is the article below:


When you pull back the curtain on all of the illusions, what you find is quite preposterous. It is so absurd, so far removed from what we perceive as reality, that not many people would ever believe it. It is beyond science fiction.

“The truth is paradoxical to the extent of being exactly contrary to the usual perception.” 
– Georges Bataille

Consider what actually lies behind that curtain. Behind the facades we perceive, are truths that are contrary to the perceived realities. It is not what we think it is. We have been trapped, enslaved for thousands of years, without us even realizing it. We are in a labyrinth of illusions, with gate keepers at every step. Sometime, long ago in prehistory, inter-dimensional demiurges came to our Earth to plunder her. They enslaved humanity and proclaimed themselves as almighty god, the creator. The Gnostics called them the archons. They are the predators, who keep us as their herd, just as we keep farm animals. We are their food. We have been in their grip for thousands of years. The very gods that we pray to for hope and salvation, are the very culprits that prey on us. They are our keepers, and they enslave us, yet we are convinced that they are our creator and savior. Isn’t that ironic? Yes, it all seems quite preposterous. Not at all what it seems.

All of this has been recorded in ancient legends, writings, histories and religious and cultural records. It’s not just some wild story conjured up by some person with a creative imagination. Reality really Is more strange than science fiction. I can understand why not too many people even want to know the reality. David Icke has spoken extensively on this, as well as Michael Tsarion and many others.
I write a lot about the matrix and waking up from it. As the misty veils of illusion are lifted, the reality becomes more visible. But the matrix is far reaching. Beyond the earthly matrix is the cosmic matrix, which is quite vast from our perspective. There are layers, or dimensions of the cosmic matrix, as it extends through the eight dimensions of the cosmos.

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Within the cosmic matrix are many false light constructs, each created by a demiurge, an impostor god. Each false light construct can extend through eight dimensions, and also they are vast in size, each one of them could seem as large as a universe, and yet they are only a tiny fraction of the entire universe. But when you are inside them, they seem all compassing. Just another illusory trick. Many of these false light realms extend upon our planet, through the programmed minds of people.

For example, Jehovah is an impostor god that has created his own matrix of false light. His realm stretches throughout all of the cosmic dimensions and is vast in scope. It appears on our planet through the minds of the followers of Jehovah, as they are programmed to believe in his doctrine, they then perceive a world tinted by those beliefs.

There are many religions and new age doctrines on this planet, so we have many false light realms existing here simultaneously, each generated through the programmed minds of their followers. You can have a room full of Hindus, Buddhists, Moslems, Christians, Jews, etc. and each of those false light realms exists within the same room, each within the programmed minds of the followers. Each person, through his programmed mind, perceives reality through the filters of his beliefs, and therefor places an overlay of illusions of the false light matrix over the truth.

Each of these false light realms has many levels of their heavens. In the Puranas, there are many descriptions of the realms of the Hindu gods and goddesses. There are also descriptions of the seven layers of the realms of the demons. These are the heavens. From what I have gathered, there seems to be many demiurges, each with their own false light realm, and they are all under one umbrella. George Kavassilas describes from his journeys, that they are all under Jehovah.

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What I have described so far is the stage on which a very heinous crime is perpetrated upon humanity. You see, it’s not enough for them to simply enslave us and feed off of us in this life. We are trapped in their web. It is called the wheel of Samsara. In Reincarnation Is Enslavement, I explained how the souls are recycled into new bodies in the matrix.

“So the next question is: What happens when we die? When we die, we enter the cosmic matrix, another false light construct which we call heaven. Our souls are trapped within this prison of the gods. After some time in the false heavens, we return again in the same cycle. This is called the wheel of samsara, the cycle of birth and death.”

What the religions and new age call heaven, are all false light constructs, where the souls are given a reprise from the pain and suffering inflicted upon them in their earthly incarnations; pain inflicted by the very god they pray to. Yet, even in “heaven” the souls are still being fed upon. Then they are recycled into another body in the matrix, with a short duration of life; far too short to be able to find their way out of the Labyrinth. There are gatekeepers everywhere. This is the plight of humanity. This little video gives a glimpse of the reality one faces at death. 


This is the final grand trick. No matter what you do or believe here in your earthly body, at the time of death, we are yet tricked again. We are tricked to enter into the heavens to be recycled. When one first leaves his mortal coil, he is quite disoriented. He may encounter angels or loved ones who will urge the newly departed soul to follow them. Or he may encounter a tunnel that leads to a light. He is urged to ascend the tunnel, where he is greeted by angels, guides, loved ones etc. The newly departed soul believes he is in a true heaven. But all of these angels, loved ones etc. are not actually who they are pretending to be.

Val Valerian is a pseudonym of an ex CIA operative that wrote books about the matrix a decade before the movie. He writes:

“It is they [Grey aliens] who await in the light when a human being dies. The human being is then recycled into another body and the process begins all over again… Hence the Light and Tunnel at death Trap. Scanning someone they wish to recycle as they near death, the aliens discover who the person was close to has died. They project the person(s) image in the white light tunnel and the image waves you in deeper. If you CHOOSE to follow you can be trapped and sent to another incarnation of their choice… these entities view Earth as a big farm.”
— Val Valerian, Matrix II & Matrix V

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In Matrix V, Valerian writes, They want to recycle low to lower mid-level spirits into another breeding productive incarnation. Hence the Light and Tunnel at death Trap. Scanning someone they wish to recycle as they near death, the aliens discover who the person was close to has died. They project the person(s) image in the white light tunnel and the image waves you in deeper. If you CHOOSE to follow you can be trapped and sent to another incarnation of their choice. This shows the Empire does have an understanding of the spirit, but it attempts to short this out. The Light and Tunnel trap is a relatively new device, but one that will fail and they now know this. ‘Go into the Light’ say those who have had near death experiences. They are the salespersons chosen to advertise this alien venture. NEVER enter that light. Go up, left, back, right or anywhere but there. The mass media exposure of the Light and Tunnel trap (seen in the film ‘Ghost’, where the hero willingly enters the glittering trap) is to try to get people to buy the destination.”

I agree with what he has described. We are recycled over and over until we break free. The light and the tunnel at the time of death are traps. The final nasty trick. There are so many books being written about the death experience, NDE, people communicating from heaven, going toward the light, etc. They all speak about going towards the light as the doorway to heaven. It’s only a larger cage with more toys. Again, these books are all there to lead you astray, just like the waiter Andrea, in Monte Python’s The Meaning of Life. What they describe is the repose between bodies, where little do they realize, they are still being fed upon. It’s the energies of the captured souls in heaven that help create the heavenly false light construct. The head honcho god also feeds off of the captured souls to satisfy his addictions.

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Yikes! Holy Shit! This really Is a nasty trick. Just about everyone assumes you are supposed to go through the tunnel to the light at the time of death. Everyone assumes that the loved ones and angels meeting us are genuine. Everyone assumes that at the time of death, god would claim us back to his abode…….. well, he does. It’s just not the god that you were expecting. Everyone assumes that after death, they are free of bondage. I’m happy to put a hole in that grand illusion. Welcome to the cosmic matrix. The rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper.

So what is one supposed to do upon death? Well, I can’t say with any certainty. I wouldn’t go toward any tunnels or lights. And if angels and loved ones came, I would politely thank them for the invitation, but decline. The only light that you should be interested in is the light shining from your innermost soul. Follow that light, the light of your own Self, deep within. I’m sure you will find your destination.

It is said that Jesus, upon his resurrection, opened the gates of heaven, which had been closed since the time of Adam. Adam was the first offspring of genetical engineering done to man long ago by the gods. At this time, the matrix was established, and we have been trapped here ever since. If Jesus reopened the gates to freedom, to the true heaven; if he broke the tunnels leading to the false heavens, then the priests closed the gates shortly after he left. Jesus remarked in the Gospel of Judas, that the god Jehovah that his disciples worshipped, was not his god; that his god was within. Perhaps Jesus taught the true path, but then all of his teachings became corrupted by the priests.


I bring this up, because I have an optimistic feeling about all of this. I notice that there are large groups of people that are somewhat aware of this alien agenda, as we see the sizes of the audiences of David Icke, Michael Tsarion, George Kavassilas and others that have been exposing the truths of the alien influences upon our planet. When David Icke first started speaking about aliens and bloodlines, people thought he was crazy. Yet now, less that 20 years later, it is becoming widely accepted by many people. More and more truths are becoming revealed. Yet I do not see anyone speaking about the lights and tunnel at the time of death, or the fact that we are recycled in this prison. I brought it up last summer in Reincarnation Is Enslavement, and I probably mention it else where. But the writing of Val Valerian is the first time I see others talking about this major nasty trick.

Val Valarian writes, “The Light and Tunnel trap is a relatively new device, but one that will fail and they now know this.” Could it be that if enough people can awaken to this grand deception, then their device for recycling souls would fail? Perhaps the device is breaking due to its own weaknesses, or other factors. Could the doorways to freedom be opening? If so, I’d run for the opening. So in spite of this nasty deception, I feel optimistic that it may be time for it to collapse.

I hope so, because the external world seems to be heading for heavy turbulence, with much shit flying. Whatever is happening, at least now we know not to go towards the light or the tunnel. Spread the word.
– Greg Calise

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What does not make really sense to me here is the BLUE TUNNEL. What about that one, which you come into this world through? He has nothing about that one and all he speaks about here is some light tunnel you are going out of here after death. With light I've always thought it as WHITE light, and I've never heard any colour on that tunnel. Since you come here, from BEYOND the matrix in a blue tunnel, squeezed into this physical body so almost EVERYTHING that is you have to be left behind, and only a small speck of you can get into this tiny body, there must be a way out too. Right? I do agree that you have to look within to find the road home after death, and then I'm not talking about within your body, but within YOU. In this tiny speck, that was seperated from Source and downloaded into this body there must be some "home-beacon", I would imagine. So when we go inside this SELF and follow that beacon we can go REALLY HOME, to the origin of everything. Our true creator, our true home, from where we did come to begin with, before we were trapped in this "game" and cannot escape. That's how I see it. 

There is one more thing that I've come to realize, and that is that only people with living souls, spirits from Source, can take this trip back home. And that the reason so many of us is getting fed up with all the psychos around us right now is cause we are finally realizing that there is something seriously wrong with them. Yes, we've known all our lives they made our lives to living hells with all their mind games and odd behavior, but somehow all of them made us think they were better then us, and that it was us being over sensitive, seeing things, while in reality they are mind fuckers and really nasty buggers. I'd guess they all have demiurge-fucked-up-minds. Perhaps they've been re-cycled too many times and had their spirit sucked out of them, making them into bots, without real soul depth? Whatever the reason they are like another spieces then the kind I am feeling connected to - spiritually wise. It's like I can feel their energy around them and also anyone who's been ensnared by this malignant thinking. Many really good people are now ensnared in fear, thanks to all sorts of believes. It might be religious, but it can also be political believes. Whatever makes you tick - with fear.


I could tell people that I fear such people that are blatent liars and sociopaths, but in truth I just feel SICK to be around them and want to vomit. So therefore I rather say I fear them, though that is not technically true. I just don't want to sound too weird, by saying "I feel like vomitting in their faces, so I don't want to see them". I might do if it's a true friend, but not to anyone. People just get fear, so I stick to that description, but really there is nothing to fear about these loosers. Besides from wanting to vomit in their faces - IF I had to meet them - I feel mostly pity for them being so lost in space. They either don't believe there is more then this life, and then it's over, or they hope to go through the tunnel and live again. That is like ALL they get thus far. What a sad view point. When you realize this is just a small Matrix, in the vastness of everything, stuff just seem less bleak. This is just a moment of my eternal life and in a blink of an eye it's over. I even doubt I will give it more then a second thought when it's gone, as there are so much better things to do. I have wondered why I even bothered to download here, and I suspect I wanted to free those souls trapped here as I've had so many dreams my whole life about that very issue.

The oldest and most common dream I had for decades was that a great fog was coming towards us. There were thousands of people and the fog caught more and more of them and I kept running away from it, so very affraid to also be caught as I knew it would turn me into a mindless zombie. This was long before I even seen any of these modern zombie-movies, as I'm a child of the early 60's. One day I decided to stop running when I had that dream again, so I did. I let the fog catch up with me and it could not touch me. I walked up to people who'd been zombiefied by the fog and I put my hand on them. Immediately they snapped out of their hypnozis and woke up. I was then let to understand that I was immune and that I was like a virus to the fog that enslaved humanity. After that I never dreamt the dream again. I don't really know what to make of it, but it was a strong message to meet your fears, and not to fear them. After I stopped dreaming this dream I began to dream that aliens had occupied Earth and was controlling and watching everything, causing wars and turmoil at will. They had huge ships above us, that had been cloaked for centuries, that now came out of hiding. That caused great upheaval on the planet and people panicked.


Also that dream I kept having for a very long time, and I still do on occasions. I've heard others talk about this very same dream, so it seems to be a theme, as so many dreams. We seem to pick up the same dreams somewhere and it could be from programs, movies or the ether. Who knows, I don't. The alien ships scared me too alot, and I was feeling fear in these dreams, but one night I decided that since I can fly in the dream world I would just fly up to them and check them out. So I did, and the closer I came, the smaller they got. When I was really close the ship was just a minature and I smacked it right of the sky. That was pretty cartoonish and it made me laugh. I love to fly and be jolly in my dreams and I often want to make others happy and get their dreams fullfilled. In all my dreams there are only a few really sorrowful people that make me want to either punch them in their faces, or just that they'd go away, or even that they were CHANGED into what they could had been if they'd not let themselves loose their true essence and become psychopathic liars. That is the only people in my dreams that are draining to meet - the psychopaths and narcissists. Both the imagined ones, that end up in my dream hell, but also the ones I know in real life. That is so sad they'd done that to themselves, and it did not matter that I "touched them". They still would not wake up!

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry