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All content on this blog is fictional and any resemblance with actual events are purely coincidental. When you choose to read this blog you also agree to not get offended or try and use any content to defame me as a person or anyone connected to me. If you cannot commit to this agreement you are violating the agreement you agreed to by reading this blog. I repeat that by the act of reading this blog you are committing to this agreement of not getting upset or using content in a way that could be considered an act of aggression. If you cannot follow this agreement I urge you to not read this blog.

måndag 9 mars 2015

Your Angel Angelica

Of the blue sites this is my fifth one, a site about angels and peace. Someone once said that women thinking themselves being angels were all evil, which I felt at that time was quite over simplifying. And as things evolved through time it stands more and more clear that men believing such things are thinking in black-and-white, due to meeting once an evil woman portraiting herself as an angel. Reality is that there are good women, who truly love and care like angels, but that does not make every woman who claims to be an angel trustworthy, as the most likely to openly brag about their goodness are the evil ones. The truly good women don't need to brag or tell tales of their heroism, as being good is only part of their every day life. A woman truly convincing in her heroism and spinning tales about how heartbroken she's been by a certain woman, she will gladly tell you the name of, is the one you will be wise to not trust. If she sobs her story and tells how sad she is over her once so trusted friend's now revealed malice, and you see that she never shows the slightest sign of doubt in anything she has to tell about her "tormentor", then you should be aware. If someone looks too good to be true, they might very well be too good. 

It's way more probable that the truly good and empathetic woman will doubt the intent of her "tormentor" and ask the question why she might do this hurtful deed. She will feel shame, not cause of guilt of lying, but of guilt of revealing such foul truths about another being. The false "angel" will however not shiver in doubt what the intent is, which she claims her "attacker" has to her actions. She knows, without knowing, that the other woman is mentally instable and envious of her perfection. She will state all the illwill and evilness done to her with that very same perfection, so that no-one hearing it can avoid the conviction she shows. Almost none can help themselves fall under her spell and believe the tales she's spinning. That is how the false "angels" are revealed - by their very ability to convince almost all of their greatness. If you wish to visit my site you go here, to Your Angel Angelica, where I promise you I will not do any such thing as luring you with perfect tales of my heroism, and try to convince you I am the angel to be trusted. I am here and now a mere human, but being that I do feel deeply others pain, and would therefore be labeled an empath. Wise of the years I however know it's not good to let this ability show all too clear, as many are the deceivers who wish to use those who truly care. 
An empath is someone who cares for others and feels guilt when she does not help as much as she'd like to. All empaths are easy targets for users, so being born an empath you need to learn very early to spot these predators and avoid them as much as you can. This world is full of people, who want nothing more then to prey on those that care, as they are easy to use. When I talk about angels I mean the empaths really, and as empaths rarely tell fairy tales of their own heroism, you rarely hear about true empaths when you hear tales of such. Empaths are actually more likely to not be trusted, then the lying self proclaimed "angels" are. Those deceivers, that spellbind people to believe their stories about themselves, are more likely to be sociopaths and nothing more. You see, people are more inclined to believe a sociopath then an empath, as the sociopath will lie while looking straight into your eyes, and the empath most likely will look down, burden under so much feelings that rush through their mind and heart. The sociopath is an actor, who's practised the perfect voice, and the best way to shed a fake tear. 

The empath is true to her heart and will reflect on each word she says, as she does not want to get anything wrong, and in this world that is not an easy task. Most will not hear the full story, but like you to sum things up, and there is the lie, hidden between the lines untold. So with every word the empath might wish to say, that will not be vague, she will slowly try and circling around the truth to find her way in. She will hesitate to speak ill of others, and shudder at taking another down, so much that she'll hold back on the vastness of an evildoers actual deeds, as she'll feel the guilt that the true perpetrator ought to have felt. This will confuse the listener and interpretate as her own guilt, and her shame over others illwill they will believe is her own. That is the fate of most empaths, that they will be the ones who takes the fall for others crimes. Every fallen angel you know, could be someone flying too close to the liars. So my advice to all good people is to learn what is truly evil and avoid to be the one that will take the fall. The evil ones will love to stay close to the good, as there is the price they wish to win. They wish to steal your goodness from you.
Lets mention the gifts that I've added to this piece for a moment. The two first ones are both made with the same tutorial, and the one above here is from another. Angels didn't always look like we imagine them today, like on the first gift. In the beginning their wings might just as well be fairy wings, so I decided to put the second gift on this site too, despite me having another fairy site. I have both fairies and angels there too, so why should I not here? The third gift is of a girl with no wings, as it's not if you see the wings or not that makes a being an angel, but what is in their true hearts. An angel is a supreme being, with a better knowledge of right and wrong then simple human beings seem to have. However, I believe that every human being has the essence of an angel inside of them, but some people choose to kill it and become total sociopaths. I don't believe the noncense that they can't help themselves, being selfish, lying prats. I think they do it totally volontary and that they by free will has choosen to shut down care for others. Or perhaps even choosen to only care for some and use others like products they afterwards discards like garbage.

This means that every human being is responsible for his or her own actions, which is exactly what the malignant ones do not want. They wish to be treated like three-year-olds, whom yet have not understood what they are doing and can cry and whine their way from taking any responsibility in anything they've done. Of course, a three-year-old has not learnt how to manipulate everyone into agreeing to take away all their responsibility, so there is a much greater likelyhood a small child will be forced to face his or her guilt, then a sociopath will. That's cause the sociopath is like a slimey worm that wriggles away and is so slippery you can't hold them, so they tend to trick their way out of any sort of responsibility. Which is the essence of evil, when you frame the innocent for your own deeds that are either false or damaging in some ways. This is why I totally get nauseated when people claim that "we are all one" as no way those who've deliberately deceided to torture the innocent just for the fun of watching them sqirm are the "same as me". No way. Whatever they are it's not of some higher, loving consciousness, but malicious and primitive.
Imagine yourself an ordinary three-year-old who has a toy, and doesn't want to share. That child will hit the other children who dare to touch the toy. That is primitive, and not something all children will do. All three-year-olds are not the same. Some have understood the act of kindness already when only three. Some have not learnt it when becoming four, five, and so on. Some might never learn. So we are different and we are not "all the same". We are each and everyone different from another in some way, but there are soul clusters where you will feel like you are one with the others. Only in connection to such people could I feel this to be true - that we are all one. But only one with those who are like myself and not with those that are total strangers to me. And it's a choice the human does and not something that is forced on them. In some cases I feel more connected to a person when he or she was younger, while as they grow up they get alienated to me and I don't feel the connection anymore like I used to. There has come some kind of darkness over them, some illwill and often there is anger involved. Which does not mean they've become sociopaths, but that they are in some kind of pain and that pain will force them to choose what to become. It's not someone else making this choice - it's they themselves that will do it.

This is the reason some will been thrue horrible abuse, lovelessness, cruelness and still do great work to help others in their lives. They might be in pain their whole lives, due to the lack of love they suffered as cute little babies, but they will not try and pass their hurt on to the next generation, but learn from their own pain and try and do better, much better. Who better could know how to heal hurt children, then someone who once was one? I've heard the figure that 25% of abused children will go on and try to live normal lives and do better then what they experienced. They might never be whole again, and suffer from all sorts of psychological damages, but they will try to do better. They might marry and try to become better parents, and not do harm to their own children, like they were harmed when they were small and vulnerable. Most of abused children, like half of them, will go on and live selfdestructive lives. They will become alcoholics or other forms of substance abusers, or they will kill themselves in more direct ways. These people will become bad parents as they cannot get their focus away from their own pain, and try to focus their care to the children. These are the people that should not have children, unless they get help and heal. Otherwise they are better off not having any, as failing their children will only bring them more pain and guilt.
Then we come to the bitter fact that a big portion of abused children will continue the abuse they suffered and deliberatly do the same to their own children and to others. Whatever they saw when they were children will they internalize as the normal, and not question the rightfulness in treating others this way. These are the cruel children that most likely was the golden ones of the parents, the ones already in childhood helping the parents out to abuse the siblings. They grew up in evil and they became the evil themselves, without a second thought. They never question the accuracy that they were better and more well deserved, or that their siblings deserved less. Still, it's abuse to do this to a child, which is done to the spoiled golden child. Many will also meet the rage of the abusive parents and might be used in ways I rather don't think about as it's too sick. I really don't want to think too much about the sickness some people possess as it's too far gone for me to even concider. How can such vile beings be the same as me? No way. I refuse to admit to such lunacy. They do horrible things to small children without any regrets. I've been told that about 25% of those raised in abusive environments will repeat the abuse to others, so imagine what those will do who've been abused in the most horrible ways.

Now I will come to the origin of each soul. I totally believe that every soul is not the same, and not coming here from the same place. I don't know if all souls originate from the source, or if some has other kinds of souls, which I very much might imagine is so, as the sociopathic soul is so different. I suspect that those souls are from a lower dimension, and might even be a creation made as some kind of fake copy of the real souls, and when doing this copying they lacked some vital parts, like true empathy. I say that cause to me it's a deliberate act to shut down my over working empathy, as that tends to make me feel all the emotions the one I talk to feel. When I talk to a sociopath I don't, but all I feel is my own emotions mirrored back. I feel nothing real from the sociopath, but them stealing mine and making them theirs and mirroring it back so I feel bad about them. It's like they steal my emotions, and they turn them against me, so I believe they are feeling what I really felt, but much worse! I think that's how the sociopaths con us to pity them and neglect our own needs. We feel so bad for them, we believe, but it's our own pain we feel, just tossed back in our faces and made out to be theirs. When I connect to normal people I feel their emotions and they have nothing to do with what I feel at that moment, but are all theirs. It's a totally different experience. 
Now I will yet again mention my gifts here, as there are three above I've not spoken about. The angel holding a lantern is a lovely graphic I fell in love with and just had to make a gift of. I first made it to my oldest daughter as a birthday gift, and I also made a site with it to celebrate a group I have, so I'm very fond of it. I made the frame around it myself, using my own ideas. The baby I could not resist and I used it to make the silver variation of that frame, suggested in a tutorial. The golden frame I have on my fairy site. The lady above in blue is also made using a graphic of my choice and a tutorial. I love the mysterious look she has and if you look closely you see a fairy around her neck. Blue is the colour of the jinns, the spirit world, but also the colour that you see when you are downloaded into this reality. I've been told that it's the energy that holds all together that is blue. So we could say that the very matrix is blue. Remember the movie where those wishing to stay in the dream ate a blue pill? That is how it is. We are in a dream and we have to choose wisely what we do here. Just as non real this "reality" is, just as important is it for our futures in this "game" that we choose wisely. If you look on this as a game, you will see why it is.

In a game you need to understand what the purpose of the game is. In my opinion there are many layers of this game and therefore it's easy to get fooled into believing you are the winner, while you are only running around in circles. In all games there are bots created you can interact with and they might very well be the very same as I suggested above. Those having those simple souls that do not seem to be able to evolve or comprehend deeper values. Those that robotically mirror back to you what you yourself feel, but at the same time make you feel insignificant and stupid for feeling that, as obviously the other feels so much worse. I cannot describe it to you differently, but the sociopaths do have a nack for minimizing others experiences, stealing them and making them theirs. Just like a bot in a game would do to cause you pain and suffering to give you an opportunity to grow or to get beaten. In a game it's either loose or learn to beat the bots. How many bots are there really then? Who are the bots? A bot must be very easily programmed by the game, and very hard to make understand higher values as those are not supported by their small computer brains. They say about 1-3 % are total psychopaths, so perhaps that is the number of true bots?
At the same time the number seem to be much higher then that, if you look at society and on families. There seem to be 20-25% malignant people in this world today, just like I mentioned the number of abused children there were, who choose to keep the evil going into the next generation. Which leads back to free will choices. Some say that psychopaths do know, intellectually, that they are doing bad things, but since it's either good for themselves what they do, or just fun in a general sadistic way, they don't care. They lack the ability to feel what the others feel in a way that would make them stop. I do however truly believe that they feel others emotions of pain and suffering and that it's like food for them. Like a candy bar for a child. They enjoy others pain. So the pain of others is not an obstacle for them, but more like a carrot, to go on and do what they please to others. They will do what they believe they can get away with, due to this. And as they do they will lure others into their web of evil and those will also choose to ignore empathy, or actually turn it off, in favor or enjoying others pain instead of sharing it in empathy and loving care. 

The ailment will then spread until you get the numbers they talk about today, where almost 25% of mankind is choosing to do bad things to others, as long as it benifites themselves. With no regrets, no remors, no want to take responsibility for their own actions and totally blaming the victims for their own suffering. To try and plead to such a person is of no use, as such a being has choosen to enjoy others pain instead of helping to heal it. It's a free choice, I'm sure, and that's why most people will follow the bully as most people are affraid of getting seperated from the herd and choosen as the predators next victim. Today people think like herd animals and as long as they do that the predators living of them will rule them. What we need to do is to stop doing this and become what we truly are, if we are still using our empathy that is. If we've killed it and started to enjoy to harm innocent beings, I don't know what miracle it would take to bring us back. No, I think there is a better chance to wake up the sleep walkers, with kind and loving hearts, then there is to turn demons back to the way of care and solidarity with the suffering.
The greatest problem is that we can never know for sure what's in anothers heart, so many that look like angels on the surface are not. We can in many instances not even judge them by their percieved actions, as actions can be faked and phony. A deed might be made to look like something good, while in reality being horrible. For instance, you have those helping others by giving them toxic vaccines. It looks like they are helping them to not get ill, while in reality they are doing the opposite. Fake angels send out "peace forces" that have the obligation to hold the peace in an area, but in reality they kill people. Things are not really always as we are made to believe, so it's hard to judge and therefore I think it's wise to only judge what you yourself know is true. If you know a person who's deliberatly wronged you, there is no reason you should not hold that person accounatable for the wrong. It upsets me alot when people think they have a right to judge you for doing that, when they themselves were not involved in the happenings, did not have any understanding of it, was not emotionally wounded by the betrayal. Nothing upsets me more then such meddling with others business as that. To go to a stranger and tell him he has no right to feel pain, nore to judge the person who deliberatly caused him pain, is also an act of malignancy. It's an act lacking empathy.

Why such an act upsets me is cause it's taking away the other person's human rights to be free to feel and judge how he sees things. That is your right in this game to know what you know and judge others by that. What you don't know is another matter, and many doing these judgemental acts to others don't know anything, but feel superior by putting judgement on people for feeling things. Done in a good way, a humble way, it might be helpful in some small way, but most of the times people meddling with others affairs are just busy bodies out for a good gossip, and totally lacking empathy so they see hurting people, and wish to cause more suffering by belittling the hurt. You see such people all over the place on the internet, and in real life. You tell them something and they immediatly believe they know it all and tell you off. That is actually a very vile behavior and something only much lower entities would do, while those doing this often believes themselves being highly evolved souls who need to steer others in the right direction. Like I said, nothing is black and white, so sometimes their cruel remarks can teach you something, but most of the time they only make you go off track for awhile, distracted by their out of context nastiness.
Again, I like to talk about the gifts as we've passed three new ones. The red one with an angel holding flower is made from a tutorial, and so is the white angel in the silver frame. However the white one did I find myself, as the original tutorial was a golden frame, so I made a silver variation using that pretty angel. The same goes for the two swans just above, as the frame is made from a tutorial, using a graphic of my own choice. I'm nearing the end of this blog so I will keep mentioning the rest of the gifts too, while I'm at it. The angel statue on what looks like a grave yard is totally from a tutorial, while the brown gift under that one was actually a background tutorial, but I made a gift of it, adding a frame and putting some more butterflies on the lower part too. I think that was the only changes I did, but it was a long time ago I made it. At the very end I put in a tagg of an angel and it's also made from a tutorial. On the site you will find many more angel graphics, like angel websets, adoptions, awards and much more. I only add the gifts to my blogs, but all my sites have loads of graphics I've made through the years. Since I started making websites more then 15 years ago there's alot and I have kept alot of the older stuff too.

This site is linked up with my Green World sites and then to my youngest son's site. That is the choice I made as I always looked upon him as an angel come to earth. It didn't take me long to notice that he was an empath and that he was not the kind who walked over others or smooth talked to get his way. He's always been very obsessed with truth and whenever he had a row with his siblings it was cause someone was not truthful. Emotions can make people feel things that clutter their memory, so in many cases I don't think the lie was deliberate, but due to emotional memory. Nowdays he never has these rows anymore as he figured out how to handle his little sister better, who's very emotional. Both my girls are really, so I've had to learn the same as my youngest son to be able to be with these girls. It's hard to be soft and sweet when someone is not making sense, wont speak to you, wont do what they are supposed to do and just feel so very sorry for themselves. It's annoying and it's hard to not get annoyed and to keep the calm and try to make someone who's totally blocking you out to stop doing that, as you need a reason to let them stay at home, or to do whatever they want to. It's very hard to be an angel when in this reality of confusion and dysfunctional communication. 
I've linked all my Blue Sky sites to my Green World, and each site is connected to one of the other. My personal queen site was connected to my home under the rainbows site, my children's elven site was connected to my loving moms site, my romantic nymph site was connected to my site to my oldest daughter, my enchanted king's site was connected to my site to my oldest son, and this peaceful angel site is now connected to the site to my youngest son. The next site I will write about is my merry fairy site and that one is connected to my site to my youngest daughter, and the last one of my blue sites is the genuine ladie's site and it's connected to my site about friends near my heart. I have only seven blue sites and eight green ones, so the last green site is not connected to any of these blue one. Which is well and fine as it's a site about pets and animals, and I fail to see how that could fit in with these fantasy sites, as it's normal animals and not any unicorns. If I had an eight site about fantasy animals like that I sure knew which sites to connect, however, but I don't. I do have sites with unicorns on them, but not a special main site about them. Unicorns pop up here and there on my blue sites as I do love horses and unicorns are extra pretty ones, just like the angel horses called pegasus.

When I write I seem to mix very boring information, like the one above, with some other things that might not be too boring. It's to not make it too exciting to read my stuff, as despite me writing I don't want malignant people to read it. Malignant people are stalking my sites as we speak and I've recieved some feedback to those still in mail contact with such nasty persons, passing on the same lies and accusation that my own sister made up in May 2013. She's still repeating the same accusations, word by word, and she's also added some new lies to it, framed with more things of her doings. I have since many years seized to ask myself why she does these things, as it's too far off for me to understand. How can an empath really understand how a person enjoying to harm others think? No, I could not. Everyone helping her to stalk my sites and harass me by defaming me to everyone - their own words that they do that, talk to everyone about me - are themselves equally guilty of cruelty and lack of empathy as she is. There is no reason for me to express my pain and sadness over what they've done, as I fully well know the followers don't care, and she enjoys my pain immensly. I did the same thing 15 years ago when I was harassed by some others, that I mixed in what I wanted to speak about with more ordain - boring - messages. I wish to speak the truth, but I don't want the morally disordered to find out all I'm saying, so I hide it in plain sight.
As you might have noticed I added to all my blogs a text making it out as all I'm writing is fictional. It's cause of their lies and smear I did that, as they are still lying about what I'm doing and to whom. If I write some memories from the past they can make it out as I'm smearing all the people I mention. That's how they do it - they take something totally innocent, perhaps even cute and nice, and pretend it's vile and hateful. Nobody will check up what they talk about as they wont share the source of what they are referring to. Now one of my sister's true believers, or rather accomplices as I believe he's totally in on this scam and attacks of me, wrote to the lawyer settling our estate that I was smearing him and his whole family, which is one wife and a son. Of course I've mentioned them in my blogs, but never by names so only as they occure in a memory. And if it's smear to say nice things about people I'm guilty, and I could had written what I said about both of them openly and with names and it would never been concidered smear. But I wrote it totally anonymously, or atleast it was supposed to be until this brother stalked and stalked until he found one of my blogs. I don't know if he's found this one yet, but I would not hold it against him.

Meanwhile, he's telling the lawyer settling our estate, and who's holding my economic interests, these lies. And our sister agrees with him! Of course she does, as she's the one starting to lie about me this way. The first proof I have of her defaming me is a mail she sent to our other brother, calling me mental. The next thing she does that is proof of her own smear of me, is when she spreads a private mail I sent to her, with loads of horrible accusations on top of it. One of her accusations already then was that I was harassing, bullying and smearing her! That's how these sociopaths always do it - they steal your emotions of being bullied and accuse the true victim of the very actions they are doing. Remember - my mail was to her, and she had already smeared me to a brother, which I didn't mention in my mail to her. I was dead kind, concidering she'd been lying about me for over a month at that time, making it out I was imagining things. I had a witness, she did not, and still she made everyone believe her! That is the power of the sociopath - people rather believe their lies, then listen to reason. It's all cause of the herd mentality, and if we don't brake that and reveal the predators for what they are, we are all doomed. If we are or not wont matter to me, as either way I was only here for a short visit. I will go back home from where I came from, and my hope is that some people got the game and was helped by me. If only one was, that was time well spent!
Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry