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lördag 1 februari 2014

Ninja Battle?


This is a fun little videon to cheer me up as I got really down after reading pieces of this terrible letter to my daughter yesterday, who hadn't really understood more then one word here or there when she read it at Christmas. I got this about a year after my father died from mother. In the video I have added a few of the screaming she's doing at me in the letter. Lots of these ! all through the letter, you see. Telling me what a horribly worthless being I am and then proclaiming I am the one thinking myself am worthless. It's plain horrible and made me so much more convinced she has some kind of disorder, like narcissism, histrionic, borderline or what have you. What I have learnt since she turned on me officially is that the disordered will write you a letter if you refuse to listen to their manipulations over the phone. She has been working her magic to help our baby sister for quite some time now, judging by the mails I've read up on from said sister. She's been writing things like mother will talk to our "hysterical brother" in the US, or it's his wife who's going to sort him out for her. The brother in the US has a wife who kind of reminds me of a mixture of me and mother molded up into one person, but who's slowly leaning towards becoming more and more like our mother. His wife has been complaining about his behaviour to his relatives almost since the start, and our mother has always been slagging our father off. In the case of the brother I do believe it's the truth what she says, more or less, but with mother it's over the top lies. She's actually smearing him as a patriarcial bully now when he's dead and in reality he did ALL the housework while she was enjoying herself on the sofa.

So if you listen to the black witch in the video you will hear her say "don't act like your father", as that is what in her mind is something of the worst things a person can be, while in reality being anything like her is far worse. To slagg off a dead person is about the lowest you can get. She also claims her dead parents treated her with hostility and as I've always been a "watcher" who likes to study people I can guarantee neither did anything of the likes anytime I was there. As a matter of fact I remember many visits by her mother, my granny, to our home where granny helped her out and listened to mother slagging off father and slagging off us children. Mother even told my granny I was a lazy cow who didn't help out one bit at home, just hanging around doing nothing, while she had to suffer by the stove, clean and do all sorts of hard household labor all by her own. The truth was that I had a hard work at a factory lifting planks all day, coming home, running 10 km before I cooked dinner, often payed for with my own money, as I'd bought the needed grocerise. I helped father with the dishes, which mother never touched, and I helped him with all other sorts of household work so much he refused to let me pay my way as long as I lived at home. Mother was the one coming home to a cooked meal and only had to do the hard work of sitting her fat ass down at the table and shove her face full of food. But still she managed to lie to my granny and have her yell at me for being a lazy slagger using my poor mother like a totally ungrateful brat. How do you think that feels after you have helped out at home since you were nine? Helping your mother with her baby she couldn't be bothered with? I did my best and I did damn more then what any other friend I had did in their homes. All other children I knew didn't have to look after their sibblings. Their mothers did.

Today I'm pretty upset over reading all over the net how kind, helpful people like me have been treated on this planet by their own families. How they paid for their own stuff, while their spoiled sister or brother, or both got their stuff for free. How they had no birthday parties ever, or if they did they always had them ruined by some clearly disordered parent, who just couldn't stand to see them happy. Cause that is the root of this. These people can't stand to see the sensitive, caring children happy. If they sense that one or two of their children are coldhearted, calculating, greedy and will do anything to get ahead over other people, these parents will help them along. Do you know for what reason I believe it's so? Cause they are both from the same rotten place religions have called "Hell". Whatever place they come from it's a place where evil is thriving and they have come to this planet and ruined it. As that energy they are manifesting are not from the life source they are now killing our planet and none of them really care. All they care about is buying more wine, going on exotic holidays, buying flashy stuff and get drunk. Oh yes, and then they care about dating people less then half their age and generally making a fool out of themselves in their old days, believing this is the "freedom" their former spouses stopped them from. The last part I just wrote is the major conclusion I got from that horried letter. It starts off just like all those letters I've come across on the net from this kind of disordered mothers. That is, it tries to sound really loving and caring first, it's just so very weird as she talks ABOUT me in third form, as she's telling me a fairy tale about somebody else, not me. And the story she is telling is exactly the same old story father always told all our guests when he was saying something about his little daughter. He used to love me so very much until she kind of forbad him to do so. Her first attack on his love was to order him to physically punish me for things she made up, telling him he must do it or I'd not become a good human being, or something similiar. I was already a good human being, as I entered this realm from the higher one as a pure and loving soul. She was the one making me mad as hell, hating my parents from the bottom of my heart, as a little child, everytime they beat me up for made up reasons, or in any other way deliberatly hurt me. I was so upset with father for letting her control him and believing all lies she told about me.

If we ever had a special moment, where father and I bonded, she'd get furious and yell at me, accusing me of some made up crime, making father shun me. It always had to be about her and she must be in the center. I truly believed sometimes that she hated me from the bottom of her soul, or atleast ONE of herselves did so, as I had a feeling there were two people inside of her. She could be kind aswell, and what I read on the net, these disordered are very kind also or they'd loose you. They play a punch and hug game where they slowly break you down, like you ride in a horse the ruff way. To just beat you down does not work, so they need to comfort you when you are down, licking up all your sad little energies, like the energy vampires they are. Do you know who the first person in our extended family who called her that is? It's the very same person she has sided with against me now in these legal issues. It's my sisters new husband who first called her that. And he told my sister to talk to me about sharing the responsibility of taking care of our mother as she was too much of a such (vampire) for him to handle. I hardly heard from my sister at that time, but she only got friendly and wrote to me on her husbands order. And now they are claiming my husband since so long is the one controlling me, while it's my sister who only talks to me when her husband tells her to do so. My husband never tells me to talk to my sister or anything of the sort. We've been together since 1987, when we first met and became friends, and we've stayed friends ever since and I can tell you that if he'd ever try to talk to me the way her husband talks to her he'd regret it for the rest of his life. I'm older then my husband, not too much, but enough. He was 22 when we met, a young boy, and I was an old 25 yrs old woman. Today we don't think about the age, but at the time it was kind of a thing and we were teased by some. My sister's husband is even older then me! He's ten years older then her and treats her like she was his little assistant, a very young and beautiful assistant he gets points for as he's an old fat bloke by now. She's not that beautiful really, but good at making out she is with a very good taste for clothing and a most beautiful thick hair. Atleast she used to have always so I guess it's still real, though it's hard to tell these days with all the real looking fake hair going around. She has been toning her hair since she was 12 so I honestly don't know how much real colour she has left. It was many years ago I last saw her when she was not recently fixed up and she told me she had loads of grey already. But like I said, she's always been a smashing illusionist, who knows how to fool the eye to see what she wants to be seen.

On this blog I have a photo which is from a ballroom dancing she made me go to, which she organized. So I look better then I usually do, as I don't care that much how I look. That's something I've noticed is pretty usual that it's the born uglies who work all their lives to look smashing, while the born pretties often do not care that much about looks. Hence many uglies are over dressed, over made up and looking like they are on some stick, so hard they try to look great. There are loads of uglies who do not really care too, and loads of pretties who love to keep their looks. We are just of many kinds and types, but taking away all that, what truly matters is if we are honest and good people, or if we lie and decieve to hurt others, just for the fun of it. In my judgement, after all that has gone on with my mother in my life, is that she do lie and decieve to hurt others, and she totally feels it's their own fault for not being everything SHE demanded them to be. Whatever other people said or done to her, due to things she has truly done to them, she will only put down as their wrong doings and never ever take any responsibility for. Why did she write to me that her parents and sibblings were hostile to her, when I was a toddler? I have absolutely no clue as I've never seen anyone of them treat her hostile, until AFTER both their parents died and she started doing really dodgy things in the nest, and smearing her brothers big time. Oh, woe the things she told me about her brothers! They were mentally instable, out to get her and all sorts of paranoid ramblings. I never saw or heard anyone say or do anything towards her that supports her claims, but I do remember what she said about them. In my fathers house I read a letter from one of her brothers and how upset he was about the smear campaigne mother had got going about him. So that was his view point, that she was lying about him and that HE had asked for an outsider to come in and settle the inherance, just like me and my ninja brother have done now. As HE and the other brother were those who did that then, due to illegal things mother had done, I bet they were in their right and she in the wrong, as this time we've done the same due to illegal things our sister has done. The pear does not fall far from the apple tree, as we say here, when a child takes after their parent.

Many people like to say that it takes two to fight. But what these innocent and sweet people fail to realize is that it's not true. How many people are not killed in fights without even having the first chance to fight back? These people have been conned by the devil, I'd say. They also say that there is no right and no wrong. Again, conned by the devil. These people will then sit on high pedistals and judge you as an inferiour being compaired to them, as they are of divine origin and knows that there is no good and no evil, and they'll tell you that whatever you believe happened is only in your head and to make it all not happen, all you have to do is to turn to their master, their guru, and strike a pose and go "OM". Seriously, that's the advice these silly beggers will tell you. I have spent the last 8 years studying their mindset intimatly, just like I studied every major religion at the beginning of this journey. I had an urge to understand why humans on this planet kept giving their own minds up to a higher power, and still believing that made them more evolved then for instance someone like me who refuses to do the same. Does not matter who you look at, who has assigned over their own mind to whatever religion, leader, guru or whatever, they are all the same and you will always in the end get the same kind of answers from them. Everything will be so much better if you only pray to this, listen to that or give your soul to whatever his name is. Sorry poor beggers, but since I do remember coming here from were I came from before I was born it's just plain useless to convert me to anything. I knew were I came from and I knew I needed to shut my mouth up or my own mother would lock me up in a psych ward for telling how it is, and that at the mature age of 5. I also knew she was mental and had some serious psychic disorder long before that, which is why she mentions in her letter, just after fathers favorite baby-story, how I was helping her out with some therapy advice at age 3. So she admits in her letter that I was far more mature then her when I was 3, but still she feels she's entitled to judge me and tell me who I am, what I think and am? That is pretty cheeky, in my book. And extremly immature and contradictory. That's what judgemental people do, by the way. And all these believers, aspecially those New Agie ones, are prone to extra amount of that piece of shit. What they'll do is to actually look at your stuff, hate that you are revealing their masters (devils?) and they will trash you by judging you as judgmental for speaking your truth. 

That is the energy I've seen these "energy aware" people project on others. And since I'm extremly sensitive towards energies, I feel their so called "false light" energy from early on. First I might sense it as a masculine energy, as it might be a bloke. But when the bloke starts to sound like my mother, or any other vindictive old crow out to devalue me, I know that it's the same energy at hand. The person projecting it towards me might not have a clue what he's doing, but only thinks that I am exactly what he's pictured in his by now quite twisted brain. That's the jihn for you! I'm talking about a stranger, who never met me, and who has read some of my stuff, and clearly has not a clue what I'm talking about. Then proclaims there is no reason to defend the truth.... Yes, you heard me right. That is the New Age for you. In the New Age "truth" has no room, all is an illusion and we are all holograms so nothing matters anyway. Strike a pose and go "OM" and all is well. That shit I was long time since exposed to and since I do know where I come from and did have one trip back while I was in severly low energy mode and needed a reboost, I do know that all of that is crap. Serious crap. It's like telling a Sim person inside the game he does not need to eat anymore cause it's not really real anyways. He will die, in the game, and it's game over for him. No, what you need to do, to have him not needing to eat, is either re-program him, or find the controllers code where they can switch off the persons need to eat. There is such codes in a Sim-program, so perhaps there are here too. 

I'm not against that as I do know this is some program we're inside, but just like the Sim person is just a fraction of the person outside the computer playing with him, so am I a mere fraction of the real me, who's outside of this bluish reality I was downloaded to just before I was born. But to just think you don't need to eat inside of this reality will not change an iota, only idiots are willing to believe that. Just like telling people that the truth does not matter when they've found out people have been lying about them their whole lives, and that is the reason everyone treated them like shit, cause they believed they'd done all those horrible things, when in fact they haven't, that is just nuts. Of course you need to inform people having illusions about the truth, or the lies and illusions will prevail, which is exactly what the demons, devils or whatever evil entity is behind this world today, wish to happen. It's the rule of death and they don't want this reality to evolve into true freedom, where truth is in everyones hearts, love is flowing, life is growing and we can be friends with a wild tiger, cause we are one in essence and not only in some fantasy, like they want us to stay in. The hooks are "there is no truth", "everything is just an illusion", "don't do anything, just wait" and so many more meaningless shit they are spouting out. If we fail to act, talk, reveal, create the world we want to have, we will have one made for us filled with lies, death and legal ramification for any sort of creativity as they will steel what you make and make it theirs, and they will not allow you to borrow from each other to make it better. 

The people they are mostly targeting with these slight shifts of hands, and whom they are truly possessing with these jihns are the ones who are waking up. Like our mother who got into spirituality and New Age and then she turned all evil on me, while imagining it's me who am all those things she wrote to me. Things she made up, as I've not spoken to her ever since I was informed by my sister that mother had taken sides and would lie to help her out in the inherance. That is not what our sister said word by word, but she did say that mother would say the same thing she'd said, and since THAT was a lie, which both I and our ninja brother know for a fact, also whatever mother would say to confirm our sisters claims would also be a lie. So I refused to hear my mother lie to me. I could not bring myself to lift the phone at the end, as I knew she would do what she so many times done to help my sister out. She'd phone up one of her sibblings and talk them into doing what our baby sister wanted us to do. And what she wanted us to do, she had gotten orders from her husband to enforce in many occasions, according to old mails that is, and things I've over heard. So that's my conclusion. It's this brother-in-law who's a con artist, just like our father told me he was back in 2003, when he first met him, father said he was a cheater and con artist and he would not put any trust in that slimey man whatsoever. Guess father was right! He was a very good jugde of character, and that is what the New Agies want to take away from us. Our open minds who can make own judgings, and look with a sober mind on situations. They want us to shut up and take the blame for all negative feelings we get towards others. They want that cause they are actually working FOR the fake light, the liars in control of this planet.

Before I knew any of this was planned to happen in our family and that mother was so totally on the side against me, though she claimed in her mail she was supporting me, I had a dream about grandfather, grandmother, my mother and my father. It was shortly after father died, just a few months, and mother was heard yelling like hell at him. I was in a place that was pitch black, except for this kitchen, which is the same kitchen my granny met me in the night before her funeral. It's an ordinary kitchen, but the only thing connected to it, except vast blackness, is a doorway out to a station, from which the dead takes the train to the other side. My granny showed me that the night I met her there. So I knew very well this was the kitchen before the station, from where father would go to the other side from, and I wanted to talk to him and hug him before he went away. I could hear mother scream to him: "Why did you leave ME to sort out everything like this?" And I knew she ment the inherance and the estate and us sibblings, which she had nothing to do with, so I now also wanted to tell her that. But before I came even close to them, I just entered in from the blackness, into the light of the kitchen, I was met by my grandfather, and just behind him my grandmother. They stood in my way and I could feel they did NOT want me to interfere with their daughter. So instead I hugged them and told them both how happy I was to see them and that I loved them. Then the dream was gone. Why did they stop me? Cause mother will never learn. 

Love is important, mother helping my sister to get more money is not important. Her telling me that I am greedy, wanting money - yes, she's tried to bribe me several times to get me "happy" - will not help at all. My sister has by now gotten a value twice what even I have calculated that the most greedy of the brothers have gotten, not that he cares. He's happy to get atleast half, but he's lying too as he's gotten atleast double of the brother everyone blames to have gotten the most. It's all in the houses, what rent they've saved by not paying any, and all the electricity bills, the maintainance costs, which they cannot prove they've paid even. A summer cottage is always a BENIFITE and is calculated as such. Neither the oldest brother nore me had any benifits like that, having a place to put our stuff in, a place to invite friends to at fathers estate. But those two did! And somewhere on the line the truth hurts that they've had huge economical benifits due to that. Not "costs" like they claim, but benifits. It's actually MORE logical for my bank to pay me 1,5 million to recompensate me for all the morgages on my house then for them to consider their houses as "costs" and not "benifits". Remember, I'm the business economist in this family, neither of them are, and I don't like our sister have some low level "college" course, but university levels all the way to the last level, so yes, it's a benifit, and anyone trying to fool us with anything else is a simple con artist. Like father said - the new brother-in-law truly is a con artist, and also a bully, and he gets off on threatening poor, sick mothers with weak hearts. Nice bloke? Don't think so. By the way, the guy in the photo is not him, but another prat who took his place on the ball, as my sisters new husband dumped her to go and have sex with some mistress he'd cheated on his wife with. So he dumped my sister just before the ball. What an asshole! Then he started putting roses on her front porch, with no name on them, and since I'm psychic she asked me who did that and I told her it was that prat who dumped her for that slapper he fancied more then her, but she would not believe me, but it was the truth. Who does that con artist think I am? I sussed him out then and I will suss him all the way back to the underworld he arrived from. You don't hurt people like that without energy coming back to you, remember that, dear con artist, wife cheating, sister dumping, lying bastard. 

Sorry, I got carried away. But those sitting on high places playing "above" emotions are the fake ones. Remember that. Those playing gurus are the fake ones. Never forget. Those telling others what to do - FAKE. And whenever someone tells you that you do not have a right to your own FEELINGS - it's a fake light worker. It's really very very simple to suss them out. They WILL tell you to shut up. They WILL tell you the truth need not be defended, as truth stands on its own. And they will tell you many more lies, cause that is their speciality - lies. Like I've already told you here, it's the Loki energy. The energy of deception. Just cause this is the Maya, a holographic existens based on some huge program, or whathaveyou, does not mean that EVERYTHING is a lie, as the liars will tell you. They will tell you such so you will not look for the truth anymore, and you will NEVER realize that you have found the truth, cause they will con you into thinking the truth is just another lie. I'm speaking from my higher self now, and I can tell you that I do remember entering into this blue light. Before was everything, and then I came down INTO the blue light. So I was OUTSIDE of the Maya, and I entered into a wormhole, a vortex, into this place, but had to leave almost everything behind as only a fraction of what I am is here and it's very very painful for me to know this, as my wish to go back home is almost unbearable, but I've made a promise to myself to not fail and go back by my own ackord, like so many of my fellow souls have done. 

I've met many like me here, but I do not know how many remembered to remember how they got here. That information is deleted in everyone at the age of 5, if not earlier. So I had to make a memory recording OF the memory to not forget it, and by doing so very calculating, at the age of 5, I managed to fool the system. I knew the system, the program, Maya, would not like what I did, but I was very careful never to talk about it. Not until it was time - and I knew that at the age of 5, to keep it that way and I did. Do what you will with me now, I am not much more here anyways and I almost died in 2011, so it's too late for Maya, my mothers psyche ward and all other crazy crazy makers out there. There is nothing for you to have here anymore. I will go home, when I will, and I will NOT shut up before I do. No amount of police threats from con artists who cheats on wifes and dumps sisters to have sex with prettier girls, no amount of insulting lies US-brother writes about my husband and me or whatever twisted lies the jihn-possessed folks I know toss at me. It's too late folks. I'm done with you and I tell what I came here to tell, and when I'm done I will leave this "illusion" and go back home. To the real world I came from where people truly love each other, and are all like I am in my heart. I might sound mad as hell, but that's because I am in hell compaired to where I used to be before I was downloaded here. This place is awful and thanks to all others of the same kind as I it's bareable. I can see you and I love you - all who came here from home, despite all evilness that lives here. 

There are many good souls here and they deserve to be lifted up with some upgrading, some better coding, so their lives here in Maya becomes more fullfilling and joyous. This reality has to get a soul and a heart, help the innocent, stop helping the psychopaths, the abusers and the liars. Everything is upsidedown today, but it is still possible to turn things right. Speak YOUR truth, never pick on others who truly are speaking their truths, never tell them they are faulty and that you have some magickal spell you can make them well with, as long as they obey you. If you do you are evil too, as you are taking away their own powers. Didn't you know that? So sad, but by devaluing others own truths, coming home to THEIR homes and pissing on their carpet, you ARE a part of the problem. If you piss on someone elses carpet, and then tell them it's their fault for not having installed a WC on that spot, you are the problem. If you want a WC, go home to your own place and install one, don't come to another persons home and take a piss. Symbolically speaking. 

I think I will end there with my rant. Had I been a bloke I'm sure many people would had thought that this was a good rant, but since I'm a gal I'm supposed to be soft and sweet or talk about equality. As I don't do either I'm concidered "evil" by all sides, and that I've been my whole life as soon as I start expressing my thoughts. Except by the truly good people I've met, who also came from the true origin, they all knew who I was and all knew I was really good inside, behind all the angry "Little My" facade. It's just a front, it's words, it's not really who I am for real, as it's the mirror of this world of mirrors and projections, of hate and evil. It's this world that is sick, not me, and it's sickening to live here. If you like it, you must either had trancended the sickness, or be sick yourself, but I didn't come here to trancend it, but to feel it and give words to it. We all came to do what we came to do, and to see what we came to see. Judge not me, by telling me I'm judging, or you yourself will be judged for doing so. That's all I have to say about the judgmental New Ager that totally took the piss out of me these last weeks, while I at the same time was physically in pain and injured. That's how the jihns work! Pick on you when you are down. The good souls will feel you are in pain and lift you up - not the jihn-possessed. And they are the worst carrier of the fake egos, symbolised by my ninja brothers best friend in a dream as poop in their pants. He'd just died and I asked him for a message, and that is what he said was the major problem with the "truthers" - most of them had too much EGO, and wasn't even looking for truth. So did this New Ager dude, as he straight out told me to NOT speak of truth, as truth stood on its own, while the lies are screamed from every corner with megaphones. What a bafoon, and what a load of crap in his pants, symbolically speaking that is. 

So leaving you now after some dirty talking about "piss" and "crap", and hope that was not too dream worldish for you, as in our dreams things are pretty ugly and down to the essence of things. It's just the true picture of this reality we see in our dreams, unless we manage to go to another place in the dream. Like HOME. 

Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry

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