This is a fun little videon to cheer me up as I got really down after reading pieces of this terrible letter to my daughter yesterday, who hadn't really understood more then one word here or there when she read it at Christmas. I got this about a year after my father died from mother. In the video I have added a few of the screaming she's doing at me in the letter. Lots of these ! all through the letter, you see. Telling me what a horribly worthless being I am and then proclaiming I am the one thinking myself am worthless. It's plain horrible and made me so much more convinced she has some kind of disorder, like narcissism, histrionic, borderline or what have you. What I have learnt since she turned on me officially is that the disordered will write you a letter if you refuse to listen to their manipulations over the phone. She has been working her magic to help our baby sister for quite some time now, judging by the mails I've read up on from said sister. She's been writing things like mother will talk to our "hysterical brother" in the US, or it's his wife who's going to sort him out for her. The brother in the US has a wife who kind of reminds me of a mixture of me and mother molded up into one person, but who's slowly leaning towards becoming more and more like our mother. His wife has been complaining about his behaviour to his relatives almost since the start, and our mother has always been slagging our father off. In the case of the brother I do believe it's the truth what she says, more or less, but with mother it's over the top lies. She's actually smearing him as a patriarcial bully now when he's dead and in reality he did ALL the housework while she was enjoying herself on the sofa.
towards energies, I feel their so called "false light" energy from early on. First I might sense it as a masculine energy, as it might be a bloke. But when the bloke starts to sound like my mother, or any other vindictive old crow out to devalue me, I know that it's the same energy at hand. The person projecting it towards me might not have a clue what he's doing, but only thinks that I am exactly what he's pictured in his by now quite twisted brain. That's the jihn for you! I'm talking about a stranger, who never met me, and who has read some of my stuff, and clearly has not a clue what I'm talking about. Then proclaims there is no reason to defend the truth.... Yes, you heard me right. That is the New Age for you. In the New Age "truth" has no room, all is an illusion and we are all holograms so nothing matters anyway. Strike a pose and go "OM" and all is well. That shit I was long time since exposed to and since I do know where I come from and did have one trip back while I was in severly low energy mode and needed a reboost, I do know that all of that is crap. Serious crap. It's like telling a Sim person inside the game he does not need to eat anymore cause it's not really real anyways. He will die, in the game, and it's game over for him. No, what you need to do, to have him not needing to eat, is either re-program him, or find the controllers code where they can switch off the persons need to eat. There is such codes in a Sim-program, so perhaps there are here too.
I'm not against that as I do know this is some program we're inside, but just like the Sim person is just a fraction of the person outside the computer playing with him, so am I a mere fraction of the real me, who's outside of this bluish reality I was downloaded to just before I was born. But to just think you don't need to eat inside of this reality will not change an iota, only idiots are willing to believe that. Just like telling people that the truth does not matter when they've found out people have been lying about them their whole lives, and that is the reason everyone treated them like shit, cause they believed they'd done all those horrible things, when in fact they haven't, that is just nuts. Of course you need to inform people having illusions about the truth, or the lies and illusions will prevail, which is exactly what the demons, devils or whatever evil entity is behind this world today, wish to happen. It's the rule of death and they don't want this reality to evolve into true freedom, where truth is in everyones hearts, love is flowing, life is growing and we can be friends with a wild tiger, cause we are one in essence and not only in some fantasy, like they want us to stay in. The hooks are "there is no truth", "everything is just an illusion", "don't do anything, just wait" and so many more meaningless shit they are spouting out. If we fail to act, talk, reveal, create the world we want to have, we will have one made for us filled with lies, death and legal ramification for any sort of creativity as they will steel what you make and make it theirs, and they will not allow you to borrow from each other to make it better.
The people they are mostly targeting with these slight shifts of hands, and whom they are truly possessing with these jihns are the ones who are waking up. Like our mother who got into spirituality and New Age and then she turned all evil on me, while imagining it's me who am all those things she wrote to me. Things she made up, as I've not spoken to her ever since I was informed by my sister that mother had taken sides and would lie to help her out in the inherance. That is not what our sister said word by word, but she did say that mother would say the same thing she'd said, and since THAT was a lie, which both I and our ninja brother know for a fact, also whatever mother would say to confirm our sisters claims would also be a lie. So I refused to hear my mother lie to me. I could not bring myself to lift the phone at the end, as I knew she would do what she so many times done to help my sister out. She'd phone up one of her sibblings and talk them into doing what our baby sister wanted us to do. And what she wanted us to do, she had gotten orders from her husband to enforce in many occasions, according to old mails that is, and things I've over heard. So that's my conclusion. It's this brother-in-law who's a con artist, just like our father told me he was back in 2003, when he first met him, father said he was a cheater and con artist and he would not put any trust in that slimey man whatsoever. Guess father was right! He was a very good jugde of character, and that is what the New Agies want to take away from us. Our open minds who can make own judgings, and look with a sober mind on situations. They want us to shut up and take the blame for all negative feelings we get towards others. They want that cause they are actually working FOR the fake light, the liars in control of this planet.
Before I knew any of this was planned to happen in our family and that mother was so totally on the side against me, though she claimed in her mail she was supporting me, I had a dream about grandfather, grandmother, my mother and my father. It was shortly after father died, just a few months, and mother was heard yelling like hell at him. I was in a place that was pitch black, except for this kitchen, which is the same kitchen my granny met me in the night before her funeral. It's an ordinary kitchen, but the only thing connected to it, except vast blackness, is a doorway out to a station, from which the dead takes the train to the other side. My granny showed me that the night I met her there. So I knew very well this was the kitchen before the station, from where father would go to the other side from, and I wanted to talk to him and hug him before he went away. I could hear mother scream to him: "Why did you leave ME to sort out everything like this?" And I knew she ment the inherance and the estate and us sibblings, which she had nothing to do with, so I now also wanted to tell her that. But before I came even close to them, I just entered in from the blackness, into the light of the kitchen, I was met by my grandfather, and just behind him my grandmother. They stood in my way and I could feel they did NOT want me to interfere with their daughter. So instead I hugged them and told them both how happy I was to see them and that I loved them. Then the dream was gone. Why did they stop me? Cause mother will never learn.
Love is important, mother helping my sister to get more money is not important. Her telling me that I am greedy, wanting money - yes, she's tried to bribe me several times to get me "happy" - will not help at all. My sister has by now gotten a value twice what even I have calculated that the most greedy of the brothers have gotten, not that he cares. He's happy to get atleast half, but he's lying too as he's gotten atleast double of the brother everyone blames to have gotten the most. It's all in the houses, what rent they've saved by not paying any, and all the electricity bills, the maintainance costs, which they cannot prove they've paid even. A summer cottage is always a BENIFITE and is calculated as such. Neither the oldest brother nore me had any benifits like that, having a place to put our stuff in, a place to invite friends to at fathers estate. But those two did! And somewhere on the line the truth hurts that they've had huge economical benifits due to that. Not "costs" like they claim, but benifits. It's actually MORE logical for my bank to pay me 1,5 million to recompensate me for all the morgages on my house then for them to consider their houses as "costs" and not "benifits". Remember, I'm the business economist in this family, neither of them are, and I don't like our sister have some low level "college" course, but university levels all the way to the last level, so yes, it's a benifit, and anyone trying to fool us with anything else is a simple con artist. Like father said - the new brother-in-law truly is a con artist, and also a bully, and he gets off on threatening poor, sick mothers with weak hearts. Nice bloke? Don't think so. By the way, the guy in the photo is not him, but another prat who took his place on the ball, as my sisters new husband dumped her to go and have sex with some mistress he'd cheated on his wife with. So he dumped my sister just before the ball. What an asshole! Then he started putting roses on her front porch, with no name on them, and since I'm psychic she asked me who did that and I told her it was that prat who dumped her for that slapper he fancied more then her, but she would not believe me, but it was the truth. Who does that con artist think I am? I sussed him out then and I will suss him all the way back to the underworld he arrived from. You don't hurt people like that without energy coming back to you, remember that, dear con artist, wife cheating, sister dumping, lying bastard.
Sorry, I got carried away. But those sitting on high places playing "above" emotions are the fake ones. Remember that. Those playing gurus are the fake ones. Never forget. Those telling others what to do - FAKE. And whenever someone tells you that you do not have a right to your own FEELINGS - it's a fake light worker. It's really very very simple to suss them out. They WILL tell you to shut up. They WILL tell you the truth need not be defended, as truth stands on its own. And they will tell you many more lies, cause that is their speciality - lies. Like I've already told you here, it's the Loki energy. The energy of deception. Just cause this is the Maya, a holographic existens based on some huge program, or whathaveyou, does not mean that EVERYTHING is a lie, as the liars will tell you. They will tell you such so you will not look for the truth anymore, and you will NEVER realize that you have found the truth, cause they will con you into thinking the truth is just another lie. I'm speaking from my higher self now, and I can tell you that I do remember entering into this blue light. Before was everything, and then I came down INTO the blue light. So I was OUTSIDE of the Maya, and I entered into a wormhole, a vortex, into this place, but had to leave almost everything behind as only a fraction of what I am is here and it's very very painful for me to know this, as my wish to go back home is almost unbearable, but I've made a promise to myself to not fail and go back by my own ackord, like so many of my fellow souls have done.
I've met many like me here, but I do not know how many remembered to remember how they got here. That information is deleted in everyone at the age of 5, if not earlier. So I had to make a memory recording OF the memory to not forget it, and by doing so very calculating, at the age of 5, I managed to fool the system. I knew the system, the program, Maya, would not like what I did, but I was very careful never to talk about it. Not until it was time - and I knew that at the age of 5, to keep it that way and I did. Do what you will with me now, I am not much more here anyways and I almost died in 2011, so it's too late for Maya, my mothers psyche ward and all other crazy crazy makers out there. There is nothing for you to have here anymore. I will go home, when I will, and I will NOT shut up before I do. No amount of police threats from con artists who cheats on wifes and dumps sisters to have sex with prettier girls, no amount of insulting lies US-brother writes about my husband and me or whatever twisted lies the jihn-possessed folks I know toss at me. It's too late folks. I'm done with you and I tell what I came here to tell, and when I'm done I will leave this "illusion" and go back home. To the real world I came from where people truly love each other, and are all like I am in my heart. I might sound mad as hell, but that's because I am in hell compaired to where I used to be before I was downloaded here. This place is awful and thanks to all others of the same kind as I it's bareable. I can see you and I love you - all who came here from home, despite all evilness that lives here.
There are many good souls here and they deserve to be lifted up with some upgrading, some better coding, so their lives here in Maya becomes more fullfilling and joyous. This reality has to get a soul and a heart, help the innocent, stop helping the psychopaths, the abusers and the liars. Everything is upsidedown today, but it is still possible to turn things right. Speak YOUR truth, never pick on others who truly are speaking their truths, never tell them they are faulty and that you have some magickal spell you can make them well with, as long as they obey you. If you do you are evil too, as you are taking away their own powers. Didn't you know that? So sad, but by devaluing others own truths, coming home to THEIR homes and pissing on their carpet, you ARE a part of the problem. If you piss on someone elses carpet, and then tell them it's their fault for not having installed a WC on that spot, you are the problem. If you want a WC, go home to your own place and install one, don't come to another persons home and take a piss. Symbolically speaking.
I think I will end there with my rant. Had I been a bloke I'm sure many people would had thought that this was a good rant, but since I'm a gal I'm supposed to be soft and sweet or talk about equality. As I don't do either I'm concidered "evil" by all sides, and that I've been my whole life as soon as I start expressing my thoughts. Except by the truly good people I've met, who also came from the true origin, they all knew who I was and all knew I was really good inside, behind all the angry "Little My" facade. It's just a front, it's words, it's not really who I am for real, as it's the mirror of this world of mirrors and projections, of hate and evil. It's this world that is sick, not me, and it's sickening to live here. If you like it, you must either had trancended the sickness, or be sick yourself, but I didn't come here to trancend it, but to feel it and give words to it. We all came to do what we came to do, and to see what we came to see. Judge not me, by telling me I'm judging, or you yourself will be judged for doing so. That's all I have to say about the judgmental New Ager that totally took the piss out of me these last weeks, while I at the same time was physically in pain and injured. That's how the jihns work! Pick on you when you are down. The good souls will feel you are in pain and lift you up - not the jihn-possessed. And they are the worst carrier of the fake egos, symbolised by my ninja brothers best friend in a dream as poop in their pants. He'd just died and I asked him for a message, and that is what he said was the major problem with the "truthers" - most of them had too much EGO, and wasn't even looking for truth. So did this New Ager dude, as he straight out told me to NOT speak of truth, as truth stood on its own, while the lies are screamed from every corner with megaphones. What a bafoon, and what a load of crap in his pants, symbolically speaking that is.
So leaving you now after some dirty talking about "piss" and "crap", and hope that was not too dream worldish for you, as in our dreams things are pretty ugly and down to the essence of things. It's just the true picture of this reality we see in our dreams, unless we manage to go to another place in the dream. Like HOME.
Queen Angelica - Fairyland Poetry